Her: You think you are making a mess, big man? A huge mess? Sperm everywhere? That's nothing! Let me tell you about my toddler!"
Also ... what's happening with her boobs? Image source: Sex and Submission.com.
According to reports from the Associated Press, EL James' Fifty Shades of Grey ranked only number four on the American Library Association's "challenged books" list, i.e., their list of the books most frequently complained about by parents, educators and other bluenoses. Topping the list at number one is Dav Pilkey's "Captain Underpants" series of books, the adventures of a superhero toddler in a comic book created by two fourth graders, who accidentally becomes real (it's complicated).
The AP seems vaguely surprised that Captain Underpants topped Fifty Shades and all the others, but really, they should not have been. Have you ever SMELLED a toddler? Periodically, on the basis of smell alone, they can out-offend anything that is not either a skunk or dead, or a dead skunk. Fifty Shades never had a chance against THAT level of offensiveness. I totally sympathize with those who do not wish to be reminded of the sensitive issue of toddler stinkiness via a provocative title like "Captain Underpants."
My personal solution, however, is not to read such books. That's why I'm not a bluenose ... just a regular sort of nose that does not like the smell of toddlers.