Saturday, May 11, 2013

50 Shades of Yoga

Nirvana was just a dildo vibrator away, she was certain! Image source:

There's a fascinating Facebook page called 50 Shades of Yoga which makes an interesting connection between sexual bondage and yoga. Now let me start by making this very clear: I know very little about yoga, I'm not speaking as an expert on yoga.

Splitting the Beaver was a difficult position, but it did maintain proper feng shui in the room. Image source:

Still, there's a certain superficial visual similarity between yoga and some of the more extreme bondage poses. The 50 Shades of Yoga page seeks to establish some greater similarity, but I'm not informed enough on the subject to make any judgements along those lines. Read the page and decide for yourself.

At last, she had mastered the difficult Looking At The Flower position! Image source:

I found the 50 Shades of Yoga through a post on a the Elephant Journal blog that completely condemned it. The Elephant Journal post is by someone who teaches and practices yoga, and she's cheesed about it because she feels it's wrong to conflate bondage and yoga, or most forms of sexiness and yoga. She says, "This is the shit that makes men wiggle their eyebrows and make inappropriate comments and passes at me simply because I teach yoga. I’m a yoga teacher, not a whore."

The Opening the Lotus position somehow always led to the Hiding the Sausage position if a male practitioner were handy. Image source:

I completely missed the meme about yoga instructors being whores, or whore-like. I had more a picture of them as spiritual, new-Agey, sometimes ditzy folks, generally focused on being healthy mentally and physically, in a sexy sort of way. Frankly, the contortions yoga practitioners go through look too difficult and uncomfortable to make me think of sex. (I honestly have the same problem with extreme bondage poses, they look so uncomfortable I have trouble thinking them sexy, even though the women are naked and tied up, though I realize that the women who are thusly bound are probably either flexible enough to handle them readily, or kind of enjoying the pain, or both).

Sure, the women who practice yoga are sexy and slinky and bendy and probably very good in bed, but it never struck me as what yoga is ABOUT, I mean, most forms of physical exercise and sports that women engage in make them slinky and sexy and are also venues for male fantasies, but that's not what they're ABOUT.

Still the visual similarity is intriguing, and fun to think about in an entirely salacious way. Check out the 50 Shades of Yoga page and see what you think.

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