Choking play with a thoroughly tied up partner, done with a hand. You know what's great about using a hand for such play? You can remove it by simply letting go. Still dangerous, of course. Necks are fragile. Image source: WhippedAss.com.
There's quite an interesting dichotomy in the things brought in by my flying monkeys this week. There are a lot of articles about safety, and concerns about safety. For example, Voice host Holly Willoughby has bravely announced that she LOVES reading Fifty Shades of Grey ... couldn't put the books down. But she's afraid to do any BDSM stuff because people do get hurt over it. This is akin to say you enjoy watching people swim at the beach in the movies, but you'd never do it yourself because some people DO get eaten by sharks. (If you don't understand why this is an airheaded thing, look at the stats on traffic fatalities vs. shark fatalities.)
An article by Maureen Matthews on a site called "Daily Life" has some useful advice on safety in BDSM with its emphasis on safe, sane and consensual conduct for a reader concerned that BDSM is filled with "sick, nasty weirdos who get off on hurting and demeaning women." A guest spot in the adult web comic "Oh Joy, Sex Toy" deals with how to rope bondage safely.
And on the other end of this useful and informative Web info, we have ... Seth Mazzaglio, whose name is coming up because he is the accused murderer of Elizabeth Marriott. He claims she died in an accident involving consensual sex that involved breath play and a rope around her neck. Well, at first he claimed that he had never met her, that some mysterious other guy did terrible things to her. Later he came around to the "an accident involving consensual sex" story.
I don't much care whether or not Mazzaglio killed her intentionally or by accident. Point is, he killed her. To my mind, Mazzaglio, and any other edge player who gets careless and the person in his or her care dies, is like one of those drunk drivers who complains that he didn't MEAN to kill anybody. Sure, he didn't mean to ... but he did it. Like a drunk driver, he assumed the risk that he might kill another person, assuming he was a really tough guy who knew his stuff/could hold his liquor. And like other such tough guys, it sometimes turns out he was wrong about that.
Of course, I'm assuming the best possible interpretation here. Mazzaglio COULD have deliberately killed Marriott. We'll never really KNOW, because Mazzaglio and his girlfriend dumped Marriott's body in a river that leads to the Atlantic Ocean, a fairly guilty act. They admit they never tried to revive Marriott or call for help. (Yes, all the indications are that they are really, really stupid people.)
And to my mind the fact that Mazzaglia has a girlfriend, apparently a long-term one, whom he has never killed, is an indication that he may have treated Marriott differently, either deliberately killing her or not being so concerned with her safety as his girlfriend's. In either case, I'm completely OK with Mazzaglio spending the rest of his life behind bars, and possibly his girlfriend as well, depending on her level of complicity. I don't blame the District Attorney for filing murder charges.
I'm sure both Mazzaglio and his girlfriend are very sorry Marriott died -- now. I'm sure they understand the dangers of edge play a LOT better now! I'm sure they'd LOVE the chance to make up for what they did. And I will be happy, on behalf of humanity, to offer them that chance. All they have to do is restore Elizabeth Marriott to life and to her family. Can't do that? Didn't think so. Looks like Seth has done fallen over the edge. That's the thing about edge play ... that last step can be a LULU!
Ask Seth Mazzaglio.