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Saturday, May 18, 2013

Synchronized Bondage Orgasms Makes Bid for Olympics


"Wait for it! I'm not there yet!"
"I CAN'T! Hurry!"
"You can do it ... this is for the Olympics!"

Image source: WhippedAss.com.

With wrestling on the block for removal from the Olympics, many sports were primed to leap in and fill the gap, and none was more ready than Synchronized Bondage Orgasms, the sex sport that dare not print its name in 36 point bold Goudy Old Style, but was otherwise OK about promoting itself in every way possible.

Here we have two members of the prospective US Synchronized Bondage Orgasm team practicing their art in the all-important Vibrator Bondage event. Timing is everything here, although points are also awarded for grace, style and imaginativeness of bondage. "It's the sport you can do at home while you watch at home with friends ... very, very close friends!" says team manager Rock Sharky, "it's more than just a spectator sport!"

Sadly, Olympic wrestling was saved by a coalition of important countries that did not mind the corruption and bad officiating that Olympic wrestling was legendary for. "Rigged wrestling matches will only help prepare these young athletes for professional matches," explained US Olympics Corruption Explainer Tad Bushmaster. "Its practically a tradition, too."

Hence, Olympian synchronized bondage orgasms must wait for another sport to drop out as an Olympic event. "We're hoping that people will eventually realize how dorky synchronized swimming really is," said Sharky. "There's always hope!"

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