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Sunday, April 28, 2013

Star Wars BDSM Gear -- But No Slave Leia Gear!


"I guess this must be the part of the Force that penetrates you ..." Image source: little something I made up on Second Life.

And the mainstreaming of BDSM continues, with an Etsy crafts group called Geek Kink introducing a whole line of Star Wars themed BDSM gear. Light saber floggers! Light saber canes! Printed silk Darth Vader themed restraints! Empire Strikes Back paddles! I found out about it when my flying monkeys brought in a story about it on I09, which may lose its "mainstream" media papers if they keep this sort of thing up.

The thing I found most notable about the story was the total lack of Slave Leia paraphernalia. I mean, COME ON!!! You're making Star Wars themed kink toys and you take NO advantage of Slave Liea? What the hell are you thinking, Geek Kink people? I mean, I would suspect maybe they are afraid of legal challenges from Disney, which, let's face it, is known for such challenges. But if you have prints of Darth Vader on your restraints, you're just as liable as if you have a Slave Leia set of cuffs.

I mean, Slave Leia gags! Slave Leia buttplugs! Slave Leia armbinders! Slave Leia metal bikini sex harnesses! I KNOW they must have thought of it. The really interesting question is, why didn't they DO it?


"Yeah, why no Slave Liea gear, GeekKink? Inquiring minds want to know! A LOT of inquiring minds! Image source: LeiasMetalBikini.com.


Friday, April 26, 2013

Fork U: Cosmo's Horrible BDSM Sex Tips Inspired By Fifty Shades of Grey


"Ok, if she were a man, this place I just put my finger into would be her "mangina." True, she's not a man, and men don't have vaginas ... but otherwise, it's exactly the same!" Image source: WhippedAss.com

As Midori and others have noted, Fifty Shades of Grey has been an overall good thing because it's allowed people to start talking in public about BDSM without the endless EEEEEWW bookending that once had to surround any commentary about BDSM in the mainstream media.

But this is not an unalloyed good thing. When the conversation opens up, everybody gets into it. At least now the conversation can be balanced between the knowledgeable and the not knowledgeable and not totally dominated by the witless old dinosaurs of media that once dominated the conversation. But now you'll get voices like your horny post college grad little sister who thinks she knows everything about sex and intimacy because she's been on a few dates and fucked a few boys, but really doesn't know a hell of a lot, but that won't stop her from telling you how to do EVERYTHING sexual.

In the media, that would be Cosmopolitan magazine. So I was delighted when I found this hilarious, wonderfully snarky article on Nerve.com about 17 really stupid pieces of BDSM sex tips from Cosmo. I was chortling, guffawing and sniggering throughout. Check out tip number four if you don't believe me ... then go read the article.
4. "Press a fork (firmly, but don’t break the skin or anything) into different parts of his body — his butt cheeks, his pecs, his thighs."
This was clearly written at lunchtime, after a morning spent rummaging around the office for kinkspiration. Rejected options: "Hold a blueberry muffin in your fist and punch him in the mouth." "Pretend to be a naughty piece of printer paper and tell him to 'staple' you." "Act like a PDF and order him to 'fax me hard.' Make all relevant noises."
Incidentally, if the women who read Cosmo need to be cautioned against stabbing someone with a fork hard enough to break the skin, then their partners are going to need more than a safe word.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Gor Mentioned Withhout Usual Horrified Shreiks In Mainstream Website!!!!!!


A fighting slavegirl of Gor Evolved runs amok, her slave claws extended, wearing a shield for protection (cause she doesn't have so much as a chainmail bikini to protect her), her slings and broom (I THINK that's a broom on her back) ready to deal outrageous fortune to any who cross her path! Image source: Second Life Gor Evolved.

Well paint me purple and call me Barney! Things are really turning around. I've written how Fifty Shades of Grey has, at least temporarily, gotten some elements of mainstream media to stop putting all those "Eeeew" bookends up whenever they discuss BDSM or BDSM-related matters, though of course the real dinosaurs are still at it. It's gotten to where I expect a certain amount of civility in the mainstream discourse about BDSM, something very new to me.

Still, I was AMAZED to see the Gor movies mentioned in this article on I09 as the potential basis for a TV series along the lines of HBO's Game of Thrones and Starz's Spartacus series. This is of course, a brilliant idea, I know this because I had it myself. I just don't typically expect brilliance from writers on mainstream websites. And I don't expect it to be so matter of fact:

However, a Gor TV series would basically be a pay-cable network’s goldmine, seeing how sex and violence is what sells, and Gor has both in ridiculous amounts. A Gor series is tailor-made for the Starz executive who says, “Yes, our Spartacus TV series was could but what it really needed was more tits and violence.”

Wow. The author, Rob Bricken, is totally right of course. Seeing that much simple sanity in a mainstream site writing about the Gor movies is fricking STARTLING. Mostly when Gor is mentioned in mainstream sites, it's heavily bookended with "horrible sexist rapists who wish to enslave and degrade women wholesale and their deeply disturbed female followers!" crap. I'm not exaggerating ... much. Almost anything written about Gor, including the Gor movies, in mainstream sites will almost always include stuff of this nature, if not phrased EXACTLY as I have phrased it.

And that's what makes the simple recommendation of the Gor movies on I09 so startling. Of COURSE there have to be some caveats, but they're fairly mild by mainstream media standards:

John Norman’s long-running fantasy series had two terrible movies, which, depending on how you feel about the series premise that women are naturally subservient to men, and are much happier being dominated by them socially and sexually, is probably fine. ... And, if that executive were not fully on board with Norman’s gender politics, a decent showrunner could subvert the series’ core “values” much like Paul Verhoeven did to Starship Troopers.

These bookends make reference to Norman's "all women are natural slavegirls" philosophy as espoused in the novels (and that's how I know the writer, though referencing the movies for the sake of the article, which is about movies, is thinking about the books, because the movies were anti-slavery in theme and had precious little in the way of sex or violence to recommend them).

And I have to point out (and this is the point of my illustration at the top of the article and below) that Bricken's hypothetical showrunner won't have to expend a lot of creative energy on imagining a more egalitarian Gor, because that has already done -- that is what Gor Evolved IS. In Gor Evolved, women warriors run around with bows shooting male warriors up on an equal footing. To see how a more egalitarian Gor would work, one need only visit a few Gor Evolved sims and see how they work.


A fighting slavegirl (center) and two female warriors pause while wreaking havoc on a Gor Evolved sim. Image source: Second Life Gor Evolved.

Ordinarily, I'd feel very comfortable in predicting that there will be no Gor TV series even on premium channels, given that the Gor novels still make gender feminists shriek in fury, but given how completely I failed to predict the success of Fifty Shades of Grey, I am a bit shy about doing so. And the premium cable channels cannot fail to have noticed the success of Game of Thrones and Spartacus with all their primitive sex, nudity and violence. As Bricken points out, Gor has that in spades.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

I Feel Like A Real Blogger Now

This post has been removed because of a legal threat! My first takedown request ... well, threat. Wow! Somebody other than horny folks are reading my blog and (sniff) feel that my content matters!

Monday, April 22, 2013

Sick Games And Waking Up From History


(Woman at far right, with whip): "OK, it's my turn to be the one tied up next!" Image source: WhippedAss.com.

Every so often, the human race makes a huge leap that makes human life immeasurably better for everyone.

I would say the single most dramatic example of that was the germ theory of disease and the public health efforts that wiped out many childhood illnesses and caused the infant mortality rate to plummet, and also made childbirth a lot less dangerously fatal for many women.

Prior to these events, most everybody born had lots of brothers and sisters whose major notable thing they did was not survive to adulthood. In fact, in medieval times it was a common practice not to give children formal names until they reached the age of six or so, a way for the parents to distance themselves from their own children so they would not suffer quite so horribly if the children died in infancy, as was very likely.

Of course, people, especially mothers, did suffer horribly (emotionally) anyway. The net result of the understanding that it was tiny animals invisible to the eye that were responsible for people wasting away and dying was a huge increase in human health, welfare and happiness, especially once we understood that they lived in our water supply.

And arguably, the people who made these great improvements in human life weren't public crusaders or politicians or generals or the usual suspects, but techie types who were redesigning municipal water systems to keep the outflows separate from the inflows. (I.e., keep the piss and crap out of the drinking water, not to put too fine a point on it.)

But the whole change in human conduct and improvement in human life came about because of reframing of the causes of disease: tiny animals did it, not evil spirits or bad humors or whatever. It arose out of a techie hobbie (microscopy) which reflected a new understanding of human existence, namely, that the universe is not built to human scale. The astronomers had discovered that initially, looking at the scale of things larger than ourselves and discovering whole new worlds, then the microscopists looked at things smaller than ourselves, and discovered whole new worlds.

And arguably, the recent advances in nanotech and genetic modification is further exploration of the small end of the universe's scale, reaching all the way to the Higg's Boson at present. Who knows what else we will discover?

It's my hope that the next big advance in human welfare and happiness will come about because of the efforts of a group of psychological hobbyists, i.e., the BDSM community, changing our understanding of what it is to be human once again.

BDSMers do something quite remarkable, I think. They deliberately play with some of the drives that cause a lot of human unhappiness: the drive to gain power over others, the drive to give up power to others, the drive to hurt others, the enjoyment of being hurt. Dominance, submission, bondage, slavery, mastery, pain, pleasure, it's all a fun game to us. And after we're through playing with those drives, we go back to living relatively normal lives.

We've learned that these drives can be exercised in a manner that is safe, sane and consensual. But looking at what goes on in the world, it's very obvious that others have not, that they are literally driven by their drives, acting out in real life what we play out in the bedroom.

We understand that we have these irrational aspects to our behavior, it's part of being human, and we have learned to control them and enjoy them as part of sexual play. But many people are deeply suspicious of us because they DON'T have that understanding of human nature, they think we are all inches away from being rapists and torturers, because they don't understand human nature as we do.

They think they don't HAVE these irrational drives ... and of course they do. Everyone has them, to greater and lesser degrees, but they have them. They think you can't safely indulge those impulses, because they don't have that framework of understanding of human nature that we do. In their view, your appetites define you, they can't be controlled and ... played with.

It's obvious, though that every last human being DEFINITELY has dominance/submission impulses. All of human society, everywhere, is hierarchical to some extent or another. Every country has leaders, every business has a boss, every household has a head. We could not conceive of it being any other way ... because we're human.

And we play out our dominance and submission games, most of us, because we think those impulses toward dominance and submission ARE us, they define us ... because most of us can't see them in operation.

Not like BDSMers can see them as they play with them sexually. We have developed a different frame for understanding these fundamental human drives that allows us to exercise our impulses towards dominance and submission in ways and to an extent that is not possible outside the area of sex play, and to do so harmlessly. In fact, possibly healthfully, able to work with and understand dominance and submission behavior in others in very different ways. We see hierarchies and the dominance and submission impulses that are fundamental to them differently, because we have a different intellectual framework than others.

You know, like those guys with microscopes who eventually saw disease differently, because they could see the little animals living in the water, we can see the little animals living in our psyches diffeently, because we can take them out and play with them.

And eventually, perhaps, we can learn to undo the harm that those animals in our psyche do, undetected, because we can see them now. Perhaps instituting massive changes in the way people relate to one another in social hierarchies might just bring the human race to whole new levels of human health and happiness.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

I Am Returning Glori-Anne Gilbert's Breasts


Smuggling basketballs or soccer balls? It hardly matters: these breasts are too big! Image source: some place that grabs images and provides no attribution. Not even a tumblr.

Well here's Glori-Anne Gilbert rocking a furkini and doing a great job of it. Except ... her breasts are too large. I am a fan of large breasts, and Glori-Anne's breasts USED to be just the right size for me. In fact, I liked them so much that I stole them, years ago.


Glori-Anne's breasts in the old days, when they were merely "large." Image source: vidcaps of "Lust Connection," a Skinimax style video from back in the day.

But though I like large breasts, once they get past a certain point, they stop looking just "large" and start to look "deformed." "Mmmmmm!" turns into "Eeeeeew!" Thus it is with Glori-Anne, and that's why I am returning them. I imagine others may find them still attractive at that size, it's a matter of personal tastes and I KINDA say there's nothing rational about it hence no judgment here, but ... really. You just know the skin of her breasts is stretched tight as hell over those things, and they don't move in any kind of natural way or look at all natural. A shame, her face is still as pretty and wholesome-looking as ever.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Dimorphism


Dylan Ryan explains sexual dimorphism to Penny Pax.* Image source: WhippedAss.com

I don't normally out and out PROMOTE Kink.com photoshoots, I just use their photos a lot and let them who is interested in an image follow the link and buy the shoot if they are interested. But DAMN, the image at the top of this page pushes my buttons in all sorts of ways. Dylan Ryan is giving a chained-up, ballgagged Penny Pax some strap-on action, a pretty common thing in Whipped Ass videos. Except Dylan Ryan is 5'10" tall and Penny Pax is 5'0" tall.

And I don't really believe that. Look at that pic. Dylan Ryan is a LOT larger than Penny Pax. I think both models are doing what models at the extremes of size do: move their numbers toward the norm. I bet Dylan is more like six feet tall, and I bet Penny is more like 4'10". I mean, there is a WORLD of difference between those two, size-wise.

Rings my bell, I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's linked to my liking for maledom/femsub sex ... larger men and small women just work better along that whole domination/submission dynamic, as so large women and small women. I don't really understand it, but that's OK, I know damn well it's no more rational than my taste for bondage, and that I'm no more to be held accountable for it than the women who like to be tied up.


Here's tiny Rachel Roxx (also claims 5'0", also not believing it for an instant) in a Sex and Submission shoot that demonstrates plenty of tasty sexual dimorphism as she awaits impalement by the throbbing stake of love.

*Yes, I know, in the case of Dylan and Penny I am misusing the phrase "sexual dimorphism" as it is used in biology to refer to the tendency of different genders within a species to have differently shaped and sized bodies. In the case of humans, males tend to be slightly larger than females, with greater upper body development. Since Penny and Dylan are both female, they are merely at different end of the norms for human females, though neither is really what you'd call an outlier. I used the term anyway, knowing it was wrong ... as a pun. They are, after all, having sex while differently sized.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Captain Underpants Tops Fifty Shades of Grey!


Her: You think you are making a mess, big man? A huge mess? Sperm everywhere? That's nothing! Let me tell you about my toddler!"
Him: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Also ... what's happening with her boobs?
Image source: Sex and Submission.com.

According to reports from the Associated Press, EL James' Fifty Shades of Grey ranked only number four on the American Library Association's "challenged books" list, i.e., their list of the books most frequently complained about by parents, educators and other bluenoses. Topping the list at number one is Dav Pilkey's "Captain Underpants" series of books, the adventures of a superhero toddler in a comic book created by two fourth graders, who accidentally becomes real (it's complicated).

The AP seems vaguely surprised that Captain Underpants topped Fifty Shades and all the others, but really, they should not have been. Have you ever SMELLED a toddler? Periodically, on the basis of smell alone, they can out-offend anything that is not either a skunk or dead, or a dead skunk. Fifty Shades never had a chance against THAT level of offensiveness. I totally sympathize with those who do not wish to be reminded of the sensitive issue of toddler stinkiness via a provocative title like "Captain Underpants."

My personal solution, however, is not to read such books. That's why I'm not a bluenose ... just a regular sort of nose that does not like the smell of toddlers.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Slavegirl On The Shore


Very Slavador Dali! Click on this pic for a larger, desktop sized image.

Been fooling around in Gor, trying to come up with some cool images with some animations and atmospheric effects. Came up with one that reminded me of Salvador Dali's stuff, lacking only a melty watch or three. If you click on the pic, you can download a much larger pic that will be desktop worthy. See what you think!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Dreamland


"Zzzzzzzz..." Image source: Sex and Submission.com.

Sure, it was hard for her to fall asleep tied up in a Russian split. And hard for her to stay asleep tied up like that. But that first-thing-in-the-morning eye-opener of pile driver sex ... totally worth it!

Monday, April 15, 2013

Katy Perry Nude and Gagged ... Or Cloned?


On the left, we have Katy Perry naked, well ... nude, she's got a hand coyly covering her breast's pink and pointy part. On the right, we have Katy Perry wearing a bit gag with head harness and with her breast hanging right out there, nipple and all. Good for her! Image source: The Interwebs.

An easy Google search will show that Katy Perry has done a lot more than kissing a girl and liking it of late. She likes to do a lot of things. And apparently, one of them is put on a bit gag head harness and the other is letting one her nipples hang out as she is topless from the waist up and ... hold on ... this just in.

The photo on the right is NOT Katy Perry being all naked and gagged. Turns out, it's a model named Porcelain in a shoot for photographer Corwin Prescott. It's part of a diptych, called "Hunter and Prey" and it's pretty obvious Porcelain is the prey as the naked model in the other photo on the diptych is carrying a gun. (I mean, it COULD be the other way around, but what are the odds?)

DO visit the site, Prescott is a talented photographer who does great bondage art and all kinds of shoots, and Porcelain is fricking gorgeous and WAAAAAAAY less inhibited than Katy Perry. Not that Katy Perry is all that inhibited. The Katy Perry look IS atypical for Porcelain, a shame since she is a dead ringer for Katy Perry in the right makeup and hair (and contact lenses).

Porcelain very likely WAS cloned from Perry at some point in a feat of topnotch Celebrity Cloneage, because that's the only explanation that makes sense in the post-Kyle McLaughlin's dad sells the Spice Girls' moms universe.

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Psylocke And That Pony Girl Look


Pony girls? Maybe ... Image sources: Left, Alexander Horn's photo site. Right, the Bad Sugar site.

The woman on the left is of course wearing full ponygirl headgear, complete with a bitgag. The woman on the right my flying monkeys found on a fashion blog called "Bad Sugar" in an article on what Carla Zampatti (whoever she is, fashion designer I assume) is doing for Fashion Week in Australia. Zampatti, it seems, is calling for structured ponytail with bondage tape as the look for Fashion Week.

The bondage tape, the article explains, is used because it doesn't stick to the skin, that, after all, is why bondage people use it. (It's actually medical tape, OK, it was designed for serious medical uses before bondage fans picked up on it and turned it into fun tape. But bondage tape sounds a lot sexier than medical tape.)

But the interesting thing I found was that while the article's author, Alison Larsen, was hip to the bondage tape, she missed the really obvious direction the fashion style was headed in, which was pony girl headgear. The instant I saw that image, I thought "ponygirl!" It's SO OBVIOUS if you've ever seen a pony girl done up in one of those hood and ponytail getups they wear. But the author missed it, or perhaps just didn't care to point it out.

And I picked the photo at top left out, not just because it's a very nice example of a ponygirl hood in use, but because the picture is so fricking beautiful, partly because the model, Psylocke, is beautiful, but there's a lot more. Check out the expression on the Psylocke's face, she KNOWS she looks gorgeous, she radiates confidence. Look at that gleam in her eye, she wears that hood and gag harness set like it was a goddamn crown. The photographer, Alexander Horn, absolutely nailed it with that photo, and he's got a whole series of photographs of her in her full regalia on his site. (Go there, I'll wait!) I'm not even all that into ponygirls, but jeebus, that photo rocks!


Here's a tasty shot of a full ponygirl hood with the ponytail more clearly visible. Also, another bitgag. Image source: kinkyponygirl's wordpress blog.

By the way, had a tough time finding the attribution for Horn's photo of Psylocke, but I'm really glad I did. I initially found the image on a tumblr site, no attribution of course. A Google reverse image search turned up half a dozen pinterest sites that had the photo, none of THEM had attribution as well. But ONE of them had a second image from Horn's shoot of Psylocke, and THAT image had a watermark on it, from which I was able to trace Horn's site easily via a normal image search. So lesson for photographers, always watermark your stuff, lesson for bloggers, provide attribution, it ADDS VALUE to your site, and also there's not a damn thing wrong with giving credit where credit is due.

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Blowjobs As Usual In Congress


"The Chair recognizes the honorable Members' member!" Image source: Second Life.

Found this thought provoking thread from 2010 when I did a Google search so as to break out of the doldrums imposed by the Google news' agents reliance on big aggregator sites. It's about Gorean slavegirls showing up en masse in Congress. My personal feeling is, if Gorean slavegirls invaded the halls of Congress ... nothing much would change. The lobbying technique would be exactly the same. More photogenic, perhaps, but who believes that Congress operates in any other way?

Bondage Mannequins Pose Threat In Reading, Pennsylvania


First Window Dresser: "Hey, this dummy just mmphed at me!"
Second Window Dresser: "Yah, they got chips now, they can make all kinds of noises to attract customers. Just stick it in the window and it'll be fine!"

Image source: Device Bondage.com

Recommended music for this article: Showroom Dummies by Senor Coconut.
Found a story about the furor aroused by a display of a mannequin in bondage in the window of an adult novelty shop in the hotbed of depravity known only as Reading, Pennsylvania. I am shocked, shocked, that the bluenoses of Reading are so desperate for sexual things to disapprove of that they must look in sex shop windows to find them. I can imagine the rants that went on behind the scenes as the Philadelphia Fox affiliate, desperate for something resembling news, but isn't really news, as the Fox News station battened on this story:

FOX AFFILIATE COMMENTATOR: "Harrumph! The dangers that bondage mannequins pose to the young and impressionable of every age have been for far too long overlooked! Sure, mannequins SEEM harmless, acting all unable to move and voiceless, but believe me, there's something going on behind those innocent-looking cardboard exteriors! It's a known fact that no mannequin has ever owned a gun! Some say they are apolitical, I say, prove they are NOT commies! And of course, they are gender-confused by nature ... even clearly female mannequins are called "mannequins" not "womannequins" as would only be right! I shall do my riding on the BB&O railroad from now on!"

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Oh, My!


Delightful! Image source: Christina Carter in a WhippedAss.com photoshoot.

To say anything more would be guilding the lily. And heavens, I would never do that!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Sign of the Times


Sign of the times! Found it on the I Love Bondage tumblr. Google reverse image search suggests it may be a Facebook timeline cover image, but a search, though it turned up many such images, did not turn up the one I was looking for.

Well if you are wondering why some women might like bondage, sometimes a simple graphic says it all. Your girlfriend = generic, unsexy, merely female. Me = hot babe in bondage. Which do you suppose would get more attention, oh ... everywhere?


For reasons perhaps related to the image seen here! Image source: Sex and Submission.com.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Soft Bondage and Hard Bondage Definition (s)

A good definition should readily include all the things that it is designed to describe, and exclude all the things that are not meant to be described by the word or phrase in question. This is a LOT harder than it looks in many cases, as many things exist on a continuum and the definitions tend to get blurry on the margins. So I thought I'd get my nerd on and try to explain various terms involving bondage that I've seen of late that are hard to define. Actually, I suspect I will mostly be whining about why these things are difficult to define, definitely speaking.

Hard Bondage vs. Soft Bondage

To do research for this section, I went through my bondage image stash and looked at them, trying to sort out which were hard bondage and which were soft bondage, according to my definition. It was suprisingly easy, though my definition might not work for everyone.

I would say that for most people soft bondage (aka light bondage) involves silk scarves and blindfolds, perhaps ropes, perhaps fur-lined handcuffs, but no more! No more! Hard bondage involves things like suspension, leather armbinders, ass hooks, head harnesses, etc.

I don't buy these definitions, I think they are too gear-oriented. Before I offer my definition, take a look at these photos and see which ones you think are hard bondage and which you think are soft bondage:


Here's how I rank the images: 1-soft bondage, 2-hard bondage, but iffy, 3-hard bondage, 4-hard bondage, 5-soft bondage, 6-soft bondage, 7-hard bondage, 8-soft bondage, 9-soft bondage. Image source: all images are from the good folks at Kink.com.

Now, on what basis did I form these opinions? Well I have a sort of threefold axis on which I judge bondage: one, does it look painful? If it's painful-looking enough to make you go eeeeeew, it's definitely hard bondage, if it just makes you think, "that looks like it might hurt after a while," that moves into the realm of hard bondage, but may not in and of itself be definitive. The other axis: is it all about the sex, or the bondage? If someone is tied up in such a way that you don't have access to their fun parts, it's generally about the bondage, not the sex. That moves an image into the hard bondage category And the third axis is, how complicated and how much gear does the bondage require? If it takes half an hour to set up the bondage or very complex gear, it probably is hard bondage, if it's something you can keep in a box under the bed and be in full bound and fucking mode in five minutes, it's probably soft bondage. And if the bondage can very easily cause injury if you do it wrong (any bondage can injure if done wrong, but some more than others, see suspension bondage) then it's probably hard bondage.

It sounds complex, but it's actually kinda easy in practice. Let's look at how it determined my definitions.

One is soft bondage -- she's basically tied sitting in a chair, it's comfy, not painful looking at all, and her pussy is hanging right out there, ready for playtime. The chair she's in is kind of gear-ish looking but it's not necessary to the bondage, it would work as well in another chair, and so, soft bondage.

Two is soft bondage, though it's much more problematical and if you want to call it hard bondage I won't put up much of an argument. That's a very specialized device she's sitting on, definitely hard bondage territory. On the other hand, she's definitely available for sex, and in fact is getting fucked. Her pose looks kinda uncomfy, but maybe not, with the padding on the bars and all the straps keeping her weight easily centered on the bars. The head harness LOOKS fierce, but it's basically just a ballgag with lots of extra straps. The breast bondage looks kinda painful, but maybe not all THAT painful, so ... hard call. I could call it hard bondage, it's one of those images that kind of defines the line, because moving a little bit one way or the other might make it definitely soft or definitely hard bondage.

Three is hard bondage, no doubt about it. In suspension, using unusual gear, it doesn't look comfy at all, especially for her back, and she wears a ring gag. She is not easily fuckable with her butt hiked up in the air like that, though her wide spread legs look like a vibrator or some probing fingers might work her pussy easily. If this is soft bondage to you, you have to wonder what is hard bondage.

Four is also hard bondage. Tied to a specialty device, if she breathed through her breasts she'd be strangling because of those tight leather bands, her vagina pressed tight against a metal pole, and her naughty bits not accessible at all. Hard bondage on all counts, your honor!

Five is clearly soft bondage, the only thing bound is her hands, which are cuffed together under the bench, and she wears a ball gag. While James Deen has her legs spread nice and wide so he can fuck her, there's nothing about the pose that is innately painful. Softcore all the way, baby. If this is hardcore to you, you need to recalibrate.

Six is also soft core bondage. Granted, the gynecological exam table she's strapped into is an unusual bit of gear, but it's all there is to make this hardcore. She's relatively comfy, her pussy is very available, and her bondage isn't all that complex.

Seven is hardcore. Suspended with a butt hook tied to her hair? Oh, nothing comfy about that.She's sexually available I guess, though it's hard to tell how high in the air she is. I suspect she'd need lowering to be fuckable. Makes no difference, she gets there on the basis of the suspension alone.

Eight is soft core. Sure, lots of ropes on the women, but they're mostly ornamental, all that's really tied is their hands, which are behind their backs. One wears a ballgag and is being fucked, and they're on a nice comfy bed. Shibari has a way of LOOKING hardcore, but not BEING hardcore.

Nine is also soft core. It's just wrist ankle bondage with an added bit of rope securing her elbows to her knees. I'm not sure if this has any practical effect, as I've never tried it. But there's nothing particularly painful looking about the bondage, she's being fucked on a nice comfy cushion. She wears a chain collar around her neck but it's basically decorative, not secured to anything. So, soft core for sure.

Now you may have disagreements with my definitions and the way they work, and that's fine. Feel free to argue in the comments. I suspect that my attempt to forge a definition is doomed as far as the mainstream is concerned. I suspect the definitions will arise as a result of the aggregate of the way the words are used, and soft bondage will wind up being silk scarves over the eyes and fur lined cuffs and maaaaaybe a rope spreadeagle on a comfy bed, and nothing much else, i.e., anything involving a gag or a wrist-ankle tie would be hard bondage. But we shall see.


"I'm ready for my extreme dental exam scene, Mr. DeMille!" Image source: Device Bondage.com.

And finally, we have WTF (What The Fuck?) bondage, the form of bondage which leaves you saying only, "What the FUCK?" I mean, check out that cutie in the inset photo, she looks kind of like a young Doris Day, all snub-nose and twinkle-eyes and perfect teeth with a happy smile. Her waifish blond hair is not a wig, by the way. That's the real deal. They shaved it off ... that IS her in the main pic.

And my personal feeling is, if that pic of her with her head shaved and wearing a nose hook and a dental gag that stretches her cheeks way back so you can see her back molars gives you a chubby, well ... you have gone to a place where I have never been and have no wish to go to. It's not that we don't have a meeting of the minds, it's that I have no wish to meet your mind. I can only say, "What the fuck?"

That said, I am well aware that some of the images I have identified as soft bondage will get a WTF out of some people. In fact, I'm sure ANY kind of bondage gives some people a WTF reaction. so it's mainly a delimiter of your own personal tastes. A handy term nonetheless.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Roy Rogers, Rough Rider?


Thinking: “Uh-oh, he's got that 'I'm a-gonna hogtie me a little heifer' look again ...”

Take it with many, many grains of salt, but there are allegations that Trigger and Dale Evans are not the only movie stars that Roy Rogers mounted and stuffed. According to an article in the National Enquirer (salt intake required), a fellow named Darwin Porter has written a new tell-all book about former porn star Linda Lovelace (more salt!) in which he claims that she claims that she hooked up with Roy Rogers -- and that Roy was a rough rider who liked to spank the fillies as he rode them.

"I feel sorry for Trigger," Lovelace is said to have told Rogers after her bottom-warming. Lovelace's encounter with Rogers came as part of a three-way tryst with another hooker (Lovelace was hooking for her brutal pimp husband Chuck Traynor at the time) during one of Roy's frequent visits to Los Vegas to get some of that rough riding action he didn't get at home with Dale Evans.

But that's not where Lovelace's revelations end. She also claimed that Rogers told her that he had given Marilyn Monroe the rough rider treatment too, spotting her during a parade and inviting her to his home for a barbecue, where Rogers and Monroe managed to slip away for some sexy time (poor Dale Evans).

It would be foolish to take any of these claims at face value, of course. I do not think that everything Linda Lovelace ever said was a lie, for instance, almost no one disagrees that her first husband Chuck Traynor was a brutal scumbag who beat her and pimped her. (Traynor claims it was all consensual "sex games" and that's why many folks are skeptical of BDSM, because every last filthy scumbag on Earth will instinctively use that excuse when accused of beating up his wife/lover/etc.). But much of what Lovelace has said has been discredited, she does seem to have been one of those women for whom the truth is a very malleable thing indeed, and there is plenty of evidence that she lied like a rug to please women like Catherine MacKinnon during her period as an anti-porn activist after she left porn.

So, lots of salt, yes, lots of salt, though I don't think it will keep her story from circulating, true or not, because liar or not, Lovelace DID have a talent for inventing lies that people would find entertaining, which is all that counts in the tabloid media.


Is this an accurate depiction of the conditions which Linda Lovelace was forced to endure while on the set of "Deep Throat" but not on camera? Probably not! But hey, it's an entertaining narrative and worth re-framing! Image source: Device Bondage.com.

Friday, April 5, 2013

Slave Harems of Xhagia Series By Teagan Rand Reviewed


Chained, collared and wearing a boustier ... soon to be a very sticky boustier! Image source: Cover of "A Slave Girl for the Emperor" the first book in the four-part Slave Harems of Xhagia series.

I am a sucker for combining fantasy/science fiction themes and bondage themes, let's just put that right out there. Anybody who has read almost all of the Gor novels can reasonably be suspected of being that.

THAT must be why I've read all four of Teagan Rand's “Slave Harems of Xhagia” books, because I DEFINITELY never intended to read all of them. I just planned to buy that first book and move on. Well to be honest, the REAL reason, and as an erotica writer I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but it's true and I gotta keep it real … I got hooked on the plot. Between an arresting and interesting plot, an intriguing universe and a smooth writing style that makes turning the pages very, very easy, I got hooked.

Set in the not too distant future, Slave of the Emperor and its successor books deals with the adventures of Christine Berenger, one of many women who have been kidnapped by slavers of a vast interstellar empire known as the Xhagian Empire, to serve as slavegirls in the harems and bordellos of Xhagia.

OK, I hear you already … I thought the same thing myself … “Another damn story of aliens who want our Earth women … what the hell … well it IS porn … er, erotica ...”

But here is where Teagan Rand proves she is made of better stuff than your average pornifier. Tuns out the Xhagians and humans are both descendents of an ancient race called the Valk who died out about 25 million years ago, and seeded the galaxy with a variety of humanoid races for some mysterious reason that's essential to the plot – and no, this review will not contain any spoilers, this is all established early on.

So the cross-species attraction is understandable, as is the fact that Xhagian males are taller, handsomer versions of Earthmen … they're basically both subspecies of the Valk.

What's more, Valk males and Earth females find each other tremendously sexually attractive ... also for reasons that are essential to the plot.

This is what really made me sit up and take notice of Rand's books. Instead of using the science fiction background as the thinnest of tissues to hold together her story of the romance between Christine and the Xhagian slaver Dalgaz Tav, and all the hot slavegirl sex that she and the other slaves have with him and other handsome Xhagian men, Rand thought her background through in such a way that it's essential to and supports the story, making it stronger.

This is a good thing because although the Slave Harems of Xhagia series is FULL of submissive slavegirly goodness, and includes some bondage, its central fetish is, well ... bukkake. Bukkake is not a fetish I enjoy, nor is it ever likely to become one, I mean .... YECH! But it seems that the sperm of Xhagians has some property that renders Earth slaves orgasmicallly ecstatic for prolonged periods, and it only takes contact with the skin to make this orgasmy goodness manifest itself. And the Xhagian men produce lots and lots of sperm, much more than Earth men. They also have a very short refractive period and like to have sex a LOT.

Think of them as the the male equivalent of the big-breasted bimbos who want to have sex with everyone as soon as possible who show up in male porn. And the sperm of Xhagian men is so powerful and effective on human female psyches that its effects are ninety percent of what it takes to transform the captive Earth women into lust-bedazzled sex sluts, reduced to panting wanton slavegirls without much need for lashing or punitive treatment of any kind. It's all about the sperm, baby!

What's more, the Xhagian men find the Earth women VERY attractive, more attractive in fact than Xhagian females, who are only interested in sex when they are fertile and ready to conceive children. And instead of being jealous, the Xhagian women are pleased that the Earth women are keeping their men from being all sexually wound up when the Xhagian women are not interested in sex, which is basically, most of the time.

And of course, the Slave Harems of Xhagia books are essentially romances. Dalgaz Tav, the male lead, is that rarest of all creatures, a slaver with a heart of gold. He might be charged with picking out the prettiest Earth women kidnapped by Xhagian slavers for the Emperor's harem and transforming them into total hose beasts for use by the Emperor, but he CARES about those women, by gum. He and Christine soon develop strong feelings for one another, but can a romance between the top slaver in the Xhagian Empire and a lowly human slavegirl really work out? I'll never tell … read the books if you want to find out!

Keeping the Emperor's and others' harems and bordellos full is why the Xhagian slavers constantly raid Earth for women to stock their harems and bordellos, but it's germane to the plot in more than one way, for there is a mysterious relationship between Earth humans and Xhagians that plays out over the course of the four books in the series that is essential to the plot.

This is what really impresses me about Rand's writing. There are a lot of erotica writers who can write a convincing sex scene, but most miss out on the tremendous potential of science fiction and fantasy to make erotic stories more powerful and believable. She worked out the way the genetics and customs of the Xhagians and humans affect her characters and her story and makes it work FOR the story, sometimes in surprising ways. This is a hallmark of good science fiction and fantasy writing, when the writer does not use their fantastic or futuristic plot elements merely as props for the story but works out how they would affect their world.

Larry Niven is a great example of this. He predicted flash mobs before they happened, because he envisioned a society that had instant communications and instant transportation because they had teleporters, and he wondered how that would affect how ordinary people behaved. He decided they'd use them to form crowds out of nowhere just for fun and parties. And of course, flash mobs are people who use cell phones out of nowhere, they just use more mundane transportation.

Niven's thinking-through of his futuristic ideas even on aspects that aren't central to the plot is what characterizes really great science fiction, it adds a very nice density and richness to your story.

And Rand's thinking through of the different sexuality and genetics and culture of the Xhagians add nicely to her series. I wish she had thought the Xhagians through in other respects, they're basically technically advanced ancient Romans in outer space in other respects, which does make the story seem a little thin at times.

There's just one element where Rand falls down in terms of world-building, and its' a pet peeve of mine, so I'm going to have to bring it up though I doubt it will matter much to most readers. Rand's Xhagian Empire features a heredity emperor presiding over a court full of nobles who scheme to become Emperor themselves, generally without success.

Now, see … interstellar empires and heredity aristocracies just don't go well together. If you are going to have an interstellar empire ruled by an hereditary aristocracy set in the distant future, you need to explain why a civilization so technically advanced is being run by a type of government that is clearly archaic even to a bunch of planetbound types like us contemporary Earthlings.

I mean, believing that the best man to govern is automatically going to be the firstborn son of the current ruler implies a certain ignorance of genetics, y.know?

I'm not saying you can't HAVE aristocracies running interstellar empires, I'm saying gimme some handwaving, baby. You know, something along the lines of “although the Xhagians were well aware of the problems posed by succession in an hereditary aristocracy, all other forms of government had proven unworkable due to the Xhagian males' fierce competitiveness, which quickly transformed any government based on merit, popularity or other objective standard into a festering hellhole ruled by paranoid warlords. Aristocracies were stupid, but they weren't as stupid as chaotic hellholes full of rival warlords. It was a matter of government by lesser evil.”

Was that so hard?

In addition to all this, there are hints that Christine is not the simple kidnapped slave girl she seems to be. She has memories of her childhood on Earth, but she has no memory of how she came to be captured in the raid of the Xhagian slavers, or of the days leading up to those events, though there are disturbing dreams that may point to an answer. And there's a religious cult that is gaining power that thinks the way the human slave girls are being treated by the Xhagians is all wrong … they think they should be treated considerably worse!

Rand, in short, really knows how to stir a plot and keep it going, and can write a pretty good slavegirly submissive sex scene. To be fair, for about half of book three and almost all of book four I kind of skimmed the sex scenes, because1) I'm not into bukkake and 2) there's little or no bondage and 3) not all that much slavegirliness stuff to interest me and 4) the plot had cut in big time and that was what I was really interested in.

Frankly, the Xhagian sperm has the effect of making all the slavegirls so happy and eager to have sex with Xhagian men that you kind of get the impression they'd be paying the Xhagian men to have sex with them if they had any money. This eliminates some of the dramatic tension you have in bondage and BDSM, which was especially a problem in the first and second books when the plot had not fully cut in, and so the books were kind of dull until the plot really got rolling in the last half of the second book. (The set up for the world, the society, Christine's situation, etc., keeps you going easily enough through the first book).

I guess what I am saying is, I would have liked to have seen Christine and the other harem slaves struggling more with their new status as slavegirls, despite the effect of Xhagian sperm on their psyches. Hell, have them seriously puzzled and disturbed by what is happening to them. (Christine does have issued with her enslavement, as do the other harem slaves, but not enough to make the harem girls' experience seem all that slavish … it's more like they are a bunch of happy consensual bukkake fetishists who occasionally have a brief doubt about what they are doing. Not exactly the stuff of sex slavery.)

That said, Slave Harems of Xhagia is still a fine series of erotic books. The four books in the series cost just $2.50 each in their Kindle editions, and they run to about 2000-2300 Kindle pages each, which of course are not the same as paperback pages. I'm not sure if it was a long novella or a short novel I read, but I definitely didn't feel shorted, because it was a fun ride and it took a while.

I would say that if you like bukkake as a fetish, buy this book NOW. You could not spend your entertainment dollar more wisely.

If you like generally sexy science fiction, also a very good use of your two bucks fifty, because these books are that. On a stick.

If you like sexy slavegirl themes with a strong element of romance, but aren't into the whole heavy bondage thing, these books are also likely to be winners for you. (The slavegirl themes are undoubtedly what kept me reading because …)

If you like bondage, the books are more problematical, there just isn't that much of it. True, the slavegirls are often thoroughly bound and gagged when they are transported from one location to another, and a couple of passages make it clear that the slavegirls are taught to serve while in restraints, but they don't do a hell of a lot of serving while in restraints or being restrained while not serving. I'd still risk the $2.50 on the first book. The sexy slavegirliness might work for you, too.

If you like bondage with a strong element of drama, with the slave girl fighting it all the way, including fighting her own feelings … these books might not be your cuppa.

All that said, I may not be the best guide for this books' intended audience, as they are definitely romances and I'm a guy. But they're definitely sexy enough to be in the zone of erotica a guy would enjoy reading. I've given you my honest reactions to the books to the best of my ability, which is about all I can do. Read the books and decide for yourself!

And for Teagan Rand, I've got just one bit of advice, perhaps self-serving but I think absolutely accurate: Bukkake just is NOT that popular a fetish. If you want to sell more books, try working a more popular fetish. May I suggest bondage? Fifty Shades of Grey sold seventy million copies, and your books could be the books all those women turn to when they look around for more Fifty Shades of Grey sort of fun reading. You are definitely a good enough writer to grab that brass ring. But you will not succeed by flogging a fetish that has most of your readers going "Eeeew!" and wanting to take a shower.


This is kinda what I imagine a Xhagian bukkake (i.e, bukkan) session is like ... same amount of white stuff, just one penis and one Xhagian man, no women with milk bottles, and the girl looks ecstatic instead of pained. And she's naked. Other than that ... identical! Image source: Public Disgrace.com.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Why No One Is Following Fox's "The Following"


Hmm, she's naked, collared, chained, on her knees, giving a blowjob and LOVING it. She MUST be evil! Image source: Sex and Submission.com.

Fox News is of course a leader in the Culture Wars, generally on the side that's against culture. But the Fox broadcasting network has not been such a culture warrior, at least, not obviously. For a very long time "The Simpsons" was Fox's number one show, and if ever a show repeatedly stuck it's thumb in the eye of the values that Fox's owner Rupert Murdock allegedly holds dear, it was "The Simpsons."

(Pauses for a moment, wondering if values have eyes. This was indeed a deeply disturbing metaphor! It did not matter, however, since it was questionable that the poor shriveled remnant of Rupert Murdoch's conscience would know a value if it bit him in the ass -- with its eye teeth!)

Well found a review that indicates that at least one Fox show may be sliding typical Fox regressive values under the radar. On a site called Hitfix.com I found a recap/review of a Fox show called "The Following," an episode called "Whips and Regrets." This line from the review is a dead giveaway:
But there's a great deal in "Whips and Regrets" which is blatantly just shaming any element of society that doesn't look like the mainstream, punishing the weird merely for being different. The episode's title comes from a BDSM club which is apparently broadcasting bandwidth for Joe's cult, and literally every detail around both this club and the woman who runs the joint are so distastefully dumb, played up merely for shock value and outrage, that they are assaultive.
Sounds like a Culture War sort of TV series all right. Anything not mainstream is suspect. Very Fox News if you ask me. Along with the backward cultural memes, there is of course, ignorance:
Then follows a delightful conversation in which it becomes rapidly obvious that no one present really knows what the words "bondage," "fetish," or "kink" mean. This would be fine if one of the characters present wasn't technically an expert; as it is, the scene is preposterously bad.
Mmm, sounds like Fox is attempting to lay its little culture bombs in its programming, but it may be too late for that. Nobody watches TV any more but old people, and that applies ESPECIALLY for Fox Broadcasting, which is in the cellar in the ratings, according to this report.

My suspicion is that Fox may be in the cellar precisely BECAUSE its shows are full of tired old memes like this, which nobody who is not in serious danger of dying of old age is buying, which is also mostly who's watching.

Kevin Bacon stars in this series. He had all his money invested with Bernie Madoff. Poor bastard.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Hard Safewords and Soft Bondage


If it takes THIS MUCH bondage to make her yell "Mets Rule!" well, she either likes bondage very, very much, or she's a REAL Yankees fan!" Image source: hogtied.com.

Ran across an article on Yahoo UK news (thanks, flying monkeys!) that is more or less a paean to the general goodness and healthiness of practicing sexual bondage. I've not seen anything quite like it before. Although the "Eeeeew!" bookends that used to pop up whenever bondage is mentioned have disappeared from mass media descriptions in the Web (and to a lesser extent traditional broadcast and print media) I've not seen an article in a mainstream news gathering site that simply praised sexual bondage as an innately good thing.

And yes, I checked the date on the article, it was March 31, not April 1.

And in further news, a hilarious bit on a more obscure site called "Deadspin," about a Yankees fan who used "Mets Rule" as her safeword during bondage play, because of course she would NEVER say those words unless she was under great duress. Hilarious!



Monday, April 1, 2013

Cinemax To Create Animated Gor Series Using Actual Second Life Locations!


Cinemax sets sail for adventure with a new original series set on the planet Gor.

Cinemax, creators of original series such as "Banshee" and "Hunted" and such original adult series as "Life on Top" and "Femme Fatales," has announced that it is starting production on a new animated adult series based on John Norman's Gor novels, set in the virtual world of Second Life Gor.

Insiders at Cinemax say the cable network has been eyeing the successes of HBO's series "Game of Thrones" and most especially Starzs' very successful "Spartacus" with a desire to create their own breakthrough series. This has led to the creation of several bland, low-budget action adventure series, such as "Banshee" and "Hunted."

"We realized that we had been going at it all wrong when we looked at Games of Thrones and Spartacus," said the insider. "Spartacus has its sexy slavegirls and Game of Thrones has its sexy whores, who are pretty much slaves. Clearly they've been getting in on the taste for sexy female submission just like Fifty Shades of Grey did in the book world. We've been going in the stupid direction there with our original adult series "Femme Fatales" which was basically hot dominatrixes having sex. It's earned us a devoted following, but a very SMALL, I mean, a really TINY devoted following relative to Game of Thrones, Spartacus, and especially Fifty Shades of Grey."

"So we looked around and discovered that John Norman's Gor was once a very hot property in the old maledom/femsub area, but it got optioned by idiots back in the 80s and nothing useful got done with it," said the source. "And we realized that Spartacus with tons of hottie slavegirls was just the thing, but you know, most of our series are done on very limited budget. We're talking cheap here. And while filming naked women in chains having sex is cheap enough, all the sword fighting and giant bird flying and such were going to cost, and cost big, by our standards. We're not HBO or Starz!"

The solution, said inside sources, was provided by the research that was done on the Gor novels. The Cinemax production team discovered that there was a huge fandom for the Gor novels in the virtual community called Second Life, and they had created over 300 different virtual sites, called sims, that were based on the Gor novels.

"When we saw this, we realized that most of the production work we would need had already been done, in an animated venue, and that's when we said, "Why not make it an adult animated series?" explained the insider, who might or might not be the executive producer for the series. "We already knew we could get the rights to the Captive of Gor title and concept from John Norman for peanuts, and we knew we could pay off the owners of these sims for peanuts and get all kinds of extras for the scenes besides, and all we'd really need is some voice actors and some post-production work to make up for stuff like the doll hands." (Second Life avatar hands are noted for being immobile.) "Piece of cake! I mean, one of the iconic cartoon characters of all time is a pig that wears a shirt and no pants and has no genitals! People are very forgiving about animation -- and OUR animations are VERY lifelike and DO have genitals, and they'll be using them. They'll be in bondage, and they'll be in sexual bondage. We can't miss with this one!"

"People will be VERY surprised at how good this will be," said the sou ... it's the executive producer, OK? The fucking executive producer! He won't let me use his NAME but who the HELL else would know all this stuff? "There'll be bowfighting, very big right now, swordfighting, and naked slavegirls submitting to mighty masters right and left. And don't you worry ... the slavegirls in this series will NOT be damsels in distress, waiting for some heroic man to free them. ALL the Goreans want to enslave them, there are no heroes! The slave girls will have to learn to deal with their slave girl problems on their own, whether that involves escaping to another land and becoming panther girls, becoming free women through some act of bravery or whatever, or dealing with their own submissive desires ... something you never see in damsel in distress plotlines. Captive of Gor will surprise you!"

Casting for the voice talent is already underway, scripts are being written, and the post-production team has been assembled. The series should be on the air in Spring 2014.