Buy Quaker Instant Oatmeal Or I’ll Shoot This Woman!

“Hi, I’m Wilford Brimley, and if you don’t buy some damn Quaker Instant Oatmeal, like INSTANTLY, I’m going to shoot this woman. It’ll hurt her bad, but you know what -- Liberty Medical Supply will have just what she needs for her recovery period.”

Image: vidcap from the movie Beer for My Horses with Wilford Brimley holding Claire Forlani hostage.

The Ballgag On the Cutting Room Floor

Hey, Jennifer, did you know your ballgag was on crooked? Do you want all the OTHER damsels in distress to be laughing at you?

Here's an image of Jennifer Garner wearing a ballgag from her "Alias" TV series. Except you'll never see it in any episode of "Alias" or in any commercial or promo that ever aired in the US.

That's because it was aired only in Europe or South America or some exotic place like that, and only in a promotional ad. It never appeared in the series ... anywhere ... and never appeared in the US in any form.

Why did they bother to shoot a scene with Jennifer Garner in a ballgag and then not use it? I don't know. Maybe because the ballgag was way too large for Ms. Garner, so she's having to wear it outside her mouth instead of inside her mouth, which invariably looks foolish. (Julie Brown beautifully exploited the humor potential of this aspect of ballgags in her parody film "Plump Fiction.")

So, here it is, a rarity, not available in the US except through the mysterious ways of the intertubes: Jennifer Garner sitting in a car with some guy who looks kinda like Donald Sutherland (R.I.P.) while wearing a ballgag. Badly. But wearing it. Enjoy! (If you want to see the full size image of her with the guy click on this text.)

(Now if I can just find a vidcap that chair tie of Claire Forlani that never made it to the final cut in "Mystery Men.")