Keri Russell's Haircut

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Adele Nude, Bound, Gagged, Lesbian Sex: Or Just Her Clone?

Left, the singer Adele listens to two of her grammys, right, somebody who looks a lot like Adele flashes a gorgeous smile. Image source: left, the Internets, right, Hogtied.com.

OK, this is a VERY CLOSE MATCH for the singer Adele, you have to admit. Clearly, the product of cloning technology. Her name is Sabrina Fox, and she is a model for Hogtied.com, as well as quite a few other kink.com sites. Clearly, cloning technology is permitting a secret cabal of mad scientists to clone copies of various beautiful acrtresses and models for purposes of, well, mad scientistness. It only stands to reason, it's as obvious as ... that 49th vibration stuff I spoke of in an earlier post on cloned celebrities.

Rational explanations about coincidental similarities in appearance between models and actresses/singers/whomevers will not be accepted here!

And in the meantime ...


If you have ever wondered what Adele OR HER CLONE would look like nude, strapped into a rack in a spread eagle, panel gagged and receiving oral sex from Kink.com model Rain Degray who is also bound, well ... wonder no more! Image source: Hogtied.com.

Thor and the Amazon Women

“So, I'm still not clear on this. Am I being tortured on a rack or a spinning wheel?”
One of the many ridiculous ancient devices from Thor and the Amazon Women, the film that features the Triangle of Death, the Irregular Polygons of Doom, the Spiky Gantry, the Spinny Pokey Thing, the Exotic Rack, mass yoke bondage, weird tribal masks, Smurf heads with whips, a hero named Tarzan, Taur and Thor all at the same time, and well, a hell of a lot of other things. It's so weird and funny that it practically MST3K'd itself.

BUSTED: Busty Neighbors and Busty Models

This is Glorianne Gilbert. She is an actual busty model. She doesn't look anything LIKE the stars of "Busty Neighbors" and "Busty Models." They are not busty. (Click on the pic to see a larger image.)

So I did a fast-forward scan through a Skinamax flick called "Busty Neighbors" via cable on demand, and I gotta say, I was disappointed.

The title had aroused certain expectations, you see. Namely, that a large proportion of the actresses in the film would be ... you know ... busty. Large racks, that sort of thing.

Sorry, it was not to be. All of the leads had very nice breasts, but none of them had large breasts.

There were only four characters in the film that had large breasts, which sounds like a lot, but "Busty Neighbors" was a clip show, and it had a couple of dozen characters appearing in it, mostly in the form of brief clips of them having sex, which was the case for all four of the actually busty women who appeared in "Busty Neighbors."

The four women who served as the plot device for stringing the clips together, who got a lot more screen time, were all notably NOT busty.

Frankly, if you're going to do a flick called "Busty Neighbors" your hosts should be, I dunno, Kim Dawson, Nikki Fritz, Rebecca Love and most of all Glori Anne Gilbert.

"Busty Models" is another similarly misleading title. There is one woman in it who may be called "busty" by any reasonable standards, and one of the female leads is well-endowed enough that she could be called "busty" by non-porn standards, but ... "Busty Models" IS porn, and she's not busty by porn standards. (However, her breasts are naturals, so I will WILLINGLY call her busty.)

I think you an reasonably say that porn-standard "busty" is a woman who, if she is wearing a T-shirt, is IMMEDIATELY identifiable as having a large rack the moment she enters a room. Male eyes are drawn to her breasts almost without any willpower at all.

That said, every other female sex actor in the movie is modestly endowed -- beautiful breasts, in all cases, but not "busty" by even non-porn standards, in fact, mostly A-cups if you know what I mean.

So why do these filmmakers call their movies "Busty" when that adjective is just plain misleading? One suspects a cynical notion that their videos will get more buyers if they are called "Busty Models" rather than "Modestly Endowed Models," which is probably true, but still, it's bad marketing. As I explained in my article on the swift demise of the Birds of Prey TV series, if one markets a TV show or a movie as having a certain appeal, then you have to follow through on what that appeal is if you plan on marketing anything like it in the future, because of course the people who find what you are marketing appealing will notice that it isn't there, and will avoid your future products thereafter, having been hosed once by you.

Thus, I would advise anyone reading this column who finds "Busty" to be attractive, to be very leery of "Busty" anything movies, with the exception of "Busty Cops I" and "Busty Cops 2," both of which I have seen and both of which feature actual busty actresses playing the lead roles.

This has been a regulary-guy public service message.