Monday, May 22, 2017

Coming June 2: "The Adventures of Bondor Woman" An Epic Spoof of Wonder Woman

Cover art by K.M. O'Shea

So, I wrote a 100,000 word epic spoof of Wonder Woman just in time for the release of the Wonder Woman movie. I didn't intend to. It was only supposed to run around 60,000 words and get finished a lot sooner. But as I've explained in other posts, my subconscious mind has a way of leading me around once I start a story, and it happened here a lot.

"The Adventures of Bondor Woman,” main storyline centers on the hi-jinks that occurred on Transformation Island, Wonder Woman's reformatory for female criminals. The reform techniques consisted almost entirely of putting female criminals in Venus girdles that compelled obedience to the loving authority provided by the Amazons who were their guards/trainers and (in my opinion) lovers, who also kept them in chains and collars at all times and taught them to love their chains and collars.

This is all canon, folks. The stuff of sweaty lesbian bondage fantasies appeared in what was generally regarded as a children's comic back in the 1940s. Un-fucking-believable, but if you do an image search for "Transformation Island Wonder Woman" the evidence will be right there before you. (It becomes a little more believable if you know that William Marston, creator of Wonder Woman, had a wife and a mistress and they all three lived in what their children describe as one big, happy family. Um, and the mistress, Olive Byrne, wore cuff-like bracelets on her wrists that she never, ever removed.)

There were two things I wanted to do in writing my Wonder Woman parody:
  1. Hopefully get some new readers by capitalizing on the Wonder Woman movie's media swell and most importantly,
  2. Write a Wonder Woman spoof that totally focussed on the bondage aspects of the Wonder Woman myth. That's because there are a ton of Wonder Woman fans who absolutely hate those aspects of her origin, fighting it and denying it and ignoring it and attacking those who would bring it into the light of day. I wanted to write a story that would have them absolutely clawing their eyes with despair, screaming and crying and howling with rage at the total WRONGNESS (from their POV) of my story, despite it being inspired by elements of Wonder Woman that are absolutely 100 percent CANON, while everyone who loves the bondage elements of Wonder Woman's canon will be laughing their asses off as they enjoy all the kinky fun. And I think I've succeeded.

I don't have DC's permission to write a straight-up Wonder Woman story, so I had to go the spoof route, which works fine for me, as humor is one of my stocks in trade, and my favorite one. And it occurred to me that there was a very easy and natural way for me to stay out of copyright trouble with DC, which was to dump the Greek myth origins of Wonder Woman and give my character, Bondor Woman, an origin in the All-Mother religion myth I had created in "Treasure of Bagooly Nooly" and "Adventuresof the Ooga-Wooga Kid."

In addition, it helped me take a fresh start with exploring Wonder Woman as goddess. She has been made a goddess twice during her run with DC, and on both occasions, returned to mortality. But comic books are vague on the difference between goddesses and metahumans and and aliens with super powers, so I explored that a bit.

I also explored what it might mean to be a catwoman, especially if catwomen were more like lions than any other species of cat. We follow the Panther Person, a catwoman criminal who is captured by Bondor Woman and involuntarily enrolled in the Transformational Institute for Slave Girls in Bagooly-Nooly as she is trained to become the ultimate person she can be, and the happiest, which turns out not to involve just being a slave girl, but … well, that would be telling.

We also explore the adventures of Bearcatman, a billionaire vigilante whose resemblance to Batman is entirely coincidental. He suspects Bondor Woman may not be entirely on the up and up, and investigates her by going to Bagooly-Nooly and seeking help from proponents of the All-Mother religion, claiming that he is asexual and that he thinks it might arise from having witnessed his parents being murdered when he was a child. He gets a LOT more than he bargained for.

There's also a ton of other stuff: the Secret World Oligarchy and the Evil Planning Committee seeking to control or destroy Bondor Woman, alien Old Ones that might destroy all sentient life on Earth, Beyonderman, a super powered alien from Crapton, Dr. Queer the Gay Magician (who is straight, just unfortunately named) the League of Goody Two-Shoes … hell you can do a LOT with 100,000 words, and I did. And yet, to me, it's a very fast read.

Due out June 2, the day the Wonder Woman premieres. Entirely a coincidence, I assure you.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Princess Slave Girl of Bal-Marduk: Kinky Hi-Jinks In The City That Time Tried Really, Really Hard To Forget" Is Now On Sale

You can get the book at Smashwords here. Or you can go to my Internantional Bookstore listing and find other places to buy it as well.

In a time before the wheel was invented, indeed, when most people despaired of its ever getting out of the lab, one woman was determined NOT to make a difference. The Princess Buttur-Kup strides proudly down the Street of Sexy Slave Sluts in ancient Bal-Marduk, kicking and cursing the beautiful young sex slaves that are chained there for the use of passers-by. And Princess Buttur-Kup likes it that way, as do the slaves.

But in this ancient cradle of civilization, or the Tri-Empire area as it's also known, Bal Marduk faces the Korgan Horde, which has been knocking over city states like drunken, shirtless teens knock over convenience stores on hot summer nights.

If the Korgan horde should conquer Bal-Marduk, the royal Princess Buttur-Kup is in for a terrible time, for in the Tri-Empire area when a city is conquered, all the men are slain, all the women and children are enslaved, the slaves are demoted to interns, and the livestock are made to work for the livestock of the conquering city.

Will Bal-Marduk fall to the mighty Korgan Horde? And if Bal-Marduk falls, will Princess Buttur-Kup be enslaved and forced to enjoy doing all the naughty things her own slaves enjoy being forced to do, or will she, being a royal, become part of a level on the Pyramid of Skulls? We can't tell you the answer, but really, if you read the title of this story or look at the artwork on the cover you should have SOME clue.

And if you read the book you will KNOW the answer to this and many other questions, such as “What is a Traitor Protection Plan?” and “What made Purina Slave Chow so delicious in ancient times?” Let's face it – in order to be truly well informed about kinky hi-jinks in the ancient world, you HAVE to read this story!

“Princess Slave Girl of Bal-Marduk” is a little over 15,000 words long. And each word in it is better than the one that preceded it!

When in Bal-Marduk, feel free to visit Princess Buttur-Kup and fuck her brains out!

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

The Crying In Cell 49 Is Now On Sale

I had written a pretty good short story back in 2002 called "The Mmphing in Cell 49" and published it on my Jolly Roper site. I considered publishing it on Amazon when I started publishing there, but I soon realized that I would not be able to because of their absurd censorship rules. Also, it was more a horror story than erotica, though it definitely had plenty of fuel for dark bondage fantasies.

So I put it in my virtual desk drawer and moved on. 

I happened to see the story file while I was working on a Smashwords story, and I thought, "this would work out fine on Smashwords." So I pulled it out and had a look at it, and it does. 

However, it's not really erotica, which is why I am calling it a horror story. It's a futuristic, dystopian story set in the world of the Morality Laws introduced by Eileen MacCammon, the protagonist of the President Slave Girl series. Here's a link to the first story in the series, The Homouth, which is a freebie, and here's a link to the full novel compiled from the President Slave Girl stories, which is complete, but not free.

And here's the blurb for the story:

Evil never identifies its true motives. It always has excuses to hide its intentions. When prisons began replacing solitary confinement with Total Restraint, which involved putting dangerous prisoners in extreme bondage but keeping them housed with the general population, the reasons cited were mental health and fiscal prudence. After all, solitary confinement drives prisoners insane, and bondage gear is much cheaper than solitary confinement cells.

But Total Restraint makes prisoners extremely vulnerable to the prisoners and guards around them, and many of them are Not Good People … that's why they're in prison. Hooded, cuffed, shackled, gagged and deprived of all clothing, they are easy meat for the predators that surround them.

Here's a short story that that examines the pavement that is the road to hell for female prisoners in Total Restraint. It's basically a horror story, but it provides plenty of fuel for the darkest erotic fantasies.

Sunday, February 12, 2017

"Treasure of Bagooly-Nooly" Now On Sale On Smashwords

I had SO MUCH FUN writing this story. It's the story I initially intended to write when I wrote "Adventures of the Ooga-Wooga Kid Part 1." (I went with “Ooga-Wooga Kid” because I realized I could publish it on Amazon and hence boost sales of my books that are still located there).

You may be wondering why I published the sequel to "Treasure of Bagooly-Nooly" on Smashwords AFTER publishing the "Ooga-Wooga Kid" on Amazon. It's all about that Amazon censorship, I'm afraid. I had originally conceived of “Treasure of Bagooly-Nooy” after watching “She” on AMC. I thought it would be fun to write an African adventure story set in the days when the world was still shrouded in exoticness and mystery, with plenty of strong sexual content to add to the exoticness.

But I knew that having Safi be a slavegirl working in a tavern and fucking whatever man had the price of a glass of wine and wanted to fuck her could be problematical. Safi and the other slavegirls enjoy their sex slavery, but still, I've had so many books banned, I don't want to give some narrow-minded censor type the chance to ban the story.

Then it occurred to me that if I moved the story forward … if I wrote a story about Huntington returning from Africa with this born and bred sex slave to the staid academic world of Humboldt College, I could have her be married to Huntington, and not enslaved, making all the sexual bondage non-problematical from Amazon's point of view. So I wrote THAT story.

But having written it, I still wanted to write “Treasure of Bagooly-Nooly,” that story was strong and sound and so, I wrote it, and published it on Smashwords, where I don't have to worry about crazed censors jumping out of the woodwork everywhere.

Treasure” deals with how archaeologist George Huntington met Safi, the wife he brought back from his expedition to West Africa in search of ancient manuscripts. Turns out that Safi was originally a slave girl working in the Kajira Gardens Tavern (little homage to the Gor novels there) in the ancient city of Bagooly-Nooly in West Africa, where sexual access to the waitresses is guaranteed by the price of a drink, and the drinks are by no means overpriced.

What's more, the tavern's sluts also serve as "bed warmers" for the night, for the price of a room, which is also by no means overpriced.

So … yes, there is a LOT of sex in this book, and all of it sexual bondage because of an extra added ingredient: a religion that holds that the origin of the universe was created in an act of sexual bondage known as the Big Fuck. Adherents to the religion, which includes almost all of the women in Bagooly-Nooly and most of the men, believe that sexual bondage is the ultimate expression of sexuality and honors the initial act that created the universe. So, they're all for it, if you know what I mean.

Bagooly-Nooly is a city of many mysteries, from the origin of what appears to be a white slave girl (Safi) who is by all appearances an innocent young Irish colleen with bright red hair, pale white skin and an air of innocence that completely belies her behavior (hint: tavern slave) to the city's age.

Bagooly-Nooly is a lot older than it looks. How old? I won't say just yet, but I'll give you a hint: the figurines of the Mother-All that the Bagoolians worship look a lot like Neolithic figurines found all over the world that are considered fertility symbols (think Venus of Willendorf and Tyr Na Nog).

The story also has plenty of interracial sexual bondage, with white Masters fucking white and brown girls and black masters fucking white and brown girls. (It's a little bit of a cheat, in that Safi, although she appears to be a white woman, is culturally just like any of the brown slave girls and in fact has a well-founded dislike for white men.)

I tried to avoid stereotypical treatment of the characters in my story. The real divisions between them are along class lines, not racial lines.

I did a lot of research for this story and discovered some very interesting things. For example, there is an actual city in West Africa that is a sort of analog for Bagooly-Nooly, the city of Tichit in Mali. It's a trade city, like Bagooly-Nooly, and sits near the ruins of the most ancient city known in West Africa, the neolithic settlement of Tichit.

I also discovered that there is currently a program to recover ancient manuscripts in a better-known West African city,Timbuktu. Long a center of trade, especially gold and slavery, the city faced invasion many times, and citizens hid their manuscripts from invaders because looting WAS a problem. Now thanks to a grant from the South African government, historians and scholars in the city are digging up the manuscripts (sometimes literally, they were sometimes buried in chests in the desert) and building a library. An excellent and honorable task, which resonates nicely with Huntington's researches.

It's really nice when you take a blind stab at a story and hear echoes from all over the place, indicating you have hit the right spot. So many things came together in the writing of this story … you can be sure the worship of the Mother-All will be making appearances in future stories, for example, because DAMN it's a wonderful mythos to work with.

If ever a story felt RIGHT from every angle, this one does. Read it and see for yourself.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Adventures Of The Ooga-Wooga Kid: Book 1 Now Available

"Adventures of the Ooga-Wooga Kid: Book 1" is now on sale at Amazon. You can get it here.

This is the book mentioned in a previous post where I said I had been inspired by a film adaptation of "She," the story of three British adventurers who travel to east Africa and find an immortal white woman ruling over a tribe of native Africans, and have a series of pulpish adventures there.

"Adventures of the Ooga-Wooga Kid: Book 1" was INSPIRED by "She" but is nothing like that. It's NOT "She" with explicit sex scenes. (That is a description that much more closely matches the prequel I'm working on now, more about that later.)

I realized that I COULDN'T write an honest book about a 1920s adventure in Africa that involves slavegirls (because you KNOW it's got to involve slavegirls) that would pass Amazon's muster, especially given that I am on super-double probation there due to so many of my earlier books getting banned.

I figured out a solution: start the story with the adventurer (George Huntington) returning to America with a wife who was a slavegirl there, whom he freed and married after buying her from slavery.

This gets rid of the nonconsensual elements that generally make slavegirl stories objectionable to Amazon (and of interest to readers). But it still left me with a problem: where to get the dramatic punch for the story?

On further thought, I decided to take a two-pronged approach: first of all, have the conflict in the story provided by the deeply inhibited nature of 1920s Americans with regard to sex. The depth of American sexual inhibitions with regard to sex is hard to comprehend from our Internet-enabled age, but I remembered an account I read somewhere years ago that brought it to my attention.

It was just a paragraph in a long article about something else, but it recounted the story of a country singer in the 1960s, think Hank Williams, Sr., or George Jones, somebody like that. He was on a tour, and was enjoying the services of a local whore, and suddenly bolted from his hotel room with startled expression on his face.

"What's the matter?" his buddies asked.

"She tried to put it in her MOUTH!" he said in tones of surprise and disgust.

Now, if stuff like that went on in the 1960s, you can imagine what the 1920s were like. Granted, the country singer didn't exactly come from the most enlightened background, but if things were still that backward in some cultures in the 60s, I think it's reasonable to hypothesize that even the most educated and affluent people in the 1920s might have had a lot of inhibitions where sex is concerned.

And that there would be much shock and awe among such people in close personal encounters with a woman who had been a sex slave.

The other prong dealt with race. Slavery in America was a matter of race, but in Africa it was not. It was mostly Africans enslaving other Africans. It was a matter of social status that was not linked to race.

But it wasn't JUST Africans. Between 1530 and 1780, Barbary Coast slavers ranged up and down the coastal villages of Europe, raiding them and taking away their villagers as slaves. It got so bad in Spain and Italy that long stretches of the coast were virtually abandoned during this period.

That white Europeans occasionally got enslaved has long been known, but what has not been known is the extent of it. A recent study has estimated that well over a million captives were taken from all over Europe by slavers during this period, far more than was thought to be the case previously. (No one had really done any serious research previously.)

So there's ample precedence for white slaves to be in the gene pool of slaves in Africa, because women and children were taken as well as men.

Now, having the explorer returning to America with a black or brown wife when America was rife with racism of the very worst sort and miscegenation laws were still in effect in many states, might take my story in a different direction than I intended.

But what if the woman the explorer brought back was to all visible inspection, white, in fact, with pale skin and red hair … perhaps a genetic throwback to an ancestor kidnapped in the distant past? Her parents, brothers and sisters might all be dark brown, and she would be mentally a part of the culture of her family and city, a well-adjusted slavegirl who thought of black and brown people as her equals and often her superiors, given that she was a slavegirl.

She would then be an excellent stalking-horse for introducing her cultural attitudes about sex to the inhibited denizens of upstate Connecticut.

And thus you have my story.

As for the characters, well I read or tried to read "She" to prep me for writing the story. Haggard, I discovered, was not a particularly good writer. He could come up with ripping stories, but his characters were wooden and not at all believable. But it was easy enough to model my explorer roughly on Indiana Jones and to keep Haggard's keen sense of the exotic.

I also reread a Bertie Wooster story or two, to get a feel for Percy Webster, the dissolute playboy who heads the Humboldt College Department of Antiquities. Percy has a little bit more on the ball than Bertie Wooster, but shares his slangy language, his lack of interest in work, and his taste for drinking and dancing.

I had some trouble coming up with the personality for Mrs. Webster, until I remembered Natalie Wood's plucky feminist heroine in the movie "The Great Race." Wood's character wasn't a serious feminist figure, her role was mainly to be a romantic foil for the hero, and to fall in love with him, but Wood did a great job in the movie of conveying a sense of plucky independence and charm, which I was happy to borrow for Lily Webster.

As for Safi, she remains a bit of an enigma. People looked at her and saw an Irish colleen, a beautiful young women with red hair and pale skin, while in her heart she was what we would describe as a black woman who was also a happy and well adjusted sex slave. (OK we can argue about the likelihood that any real life sex slaves would be happy and well adjusted, but for the erotic sake of this story, she's a fictionally happy and well-adjusted sex slave.)

We'll find out more about Safi in the prequel to Book 1 of "Adventures of the Ooga-Wooga Kid" which is what I am working on right now. Unfortunately, it will have to be published on Smashwords, a much more open and free publishing platform than Amazon, because Amazon isn't going to put up with any stories about sex slaves having nonconsensual sex, however well adjusted they might be.

It's a shame I have to jump around publishing platforms like that, but I just can't denature the story of Safi's origins enough to suit Amazon and still have a story that makes any kind of sense. I see this as a case of artistic integrity being blighted by censorship, pure and simple. Straight up, no excuses: Amazon is doing its readers wrong with its ridiculous censorship practices.

In fact, there's an interesting series I have read that has a very neat way of sidestepping Amazon censorship practices: the "Sold To The Master" trilogy by Brittany Adams. In it, there's an alternate America where women are enslaved when they reach the age of 18. They become the property of a man at that point, and it isn't their choice who they become the property of.

Adams' sidestep in this case is to have the whole "enslaving" thing be pretty much like an arranged marriage, and the enslavement roughly equivalent to being a 1940s/50s style housewife in America. Despite the fact that she uses the terms "slave" and that the women wear collars (instead of rings on their fingers) and they have sex with their owners whom they presumably have no choice about, it still reads like a romance set in 1950s America somehow.

And as well as Brittany does it, I have to wonder what sort of slavery the women would be in if Amazon weren't so censorious on topics like slavery and rape. I suspect, a very different, much more dramatically interesting sort of slavery.

So read "Ooga-Wooga Kid" and enjoy, enjoy. I think it's a fine little story that gets some major erotic kink going and also conveys a nice jazz age feel to it. Then keep an eye out for the prequel … on Smashwords.