Monday, December 23, 2013

Naked Women of Cell Block F Reviewed

"Please excuse us for swarming you like this, sir, but we've been in prison and ... it's been a long time for us ..." Image source: Vidcap from "Women of Cell Block F."

While converting my library of old VHS tapes to DVD format, I came across a film I did not know I had taped, Girls of Cell Block F, a XXX film. (There is a fair amount of stuff in my video collection that I did not know I had taped, most of it is garbage. Some, or as my wife puts it, "almost all") of the stuff I KNOW I taped is garbage, too. But at least I knew I had it!)

Remember the old Jolly Roper department, "The No Bondage Zone", filled with films that by all rights SHOULD have had bondage but had little or none? Well, The Women of Cell Block F (I'm not calling it The Girls of Cell Block F, as it's not a juvenile prison) goes the inhabitants of "The No-Bondage Zone" one better. Its title clearly indicates that it should be a women in prison movie, but it lacks one of the two things that are essential to a women in prison film ... a prison! (The other, of course, is women, which the movie DOES have ... see above.)

Frankly, I'm pretty sure the movie is the way it is because it's a budgie job.

How did they manage that? And what's a budgie job? (You Monty Python fans might be able to guess.) Read the review here and learn all, as well as seeing images from VHS tapes copied so long ago that the video smearing renders some XXX-rated scenes into a soft R rating.

My video collection is full of interesting stuff, like this vidcap of the widest, raunchiest spreadeagle bondage in non-premium cable television -- it's from an episode of the Howard Stern Show that used to run on the E! Network, featuring Jaqi, a professional tickler of women. Image source: vidcap from the Howard Stern show.