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Friday, June 29, 2012

I'm Pretty Sure These Damsels Are Not At All Distressed!


Smiling and safely being sexy, as that thing on her hip is a condom. Source: Sex and Submission.

What better way to start a weekend than with a whole trove of happy people engaging in sexual bondage? My flying monkeys brought in a clue, in the form of this post on Fleshbot, entitled "Bondage is Joy" showing a couple of naked, bound women laughing their asses off, and why should they not? Check it out!


Maybe her foot is being tickled as the ropes are applied, but there's little doubt she's having fun. Source: Hogtied.com.

I did a little more research and found the mother lode, however, the Happy BDSM Archive. It's a tumblr full of images of bondage models and amateurs engaging in bondage and so forth, mostly bondage, grinning like fools while they're at it. It's mostly women in bondage, but there are some men in bondage, so if that squicks you, be sure and take a good look at the thumbnail before you click on it. Basically however, this is the biggest trove of silly-ass grinning bondage fans I know of.


None of the photos in this post are from the Happy BDSM tumblr archive, they're from the good folks at Kink.com. Lot of grinning people there, too. Source: This one is also from Hogtied.com.

So enjoy the happy bondagers, and have a great holiday weekend!

Huffington Post UK Does Bondage Spread

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

(Grainy, Out of Focus) New Images of Slave Leia Discovered


Here's a vidcap from new behind the scenes footage of the fight over the Sarlaac pit in Return of the Jedi. See the tiny figure in the red circle? It's Slave Leia in action -- well, in a rehearsal -- and that's about as much of her as you'll see. Image source: Vidcap from the video located here.

Hardcore Star Wars fans are all agog over some footage of the filming of Return of the Jedi that has recently been unearthed. It's seven minutes of all-new "Return of the Jedi" behind the scenes footage!

Of course, the real question is, how much of Slave Leia do we get to see? And the answer is, just what you see in the vidcap, a tiny female figure running about, probably Carrie Fisher's stuntwoman. You can watch the whole video here, at Geek.com.

Or you can take my word that it just isn't worth it.


However, the video IS worth seeing to give you some idea of the scale of the sets Lucas worked with one that movie. That's one huge construction there! Seeing it with the trailers and cars parked in front gives you a much better sense of scale than you get in the movie itself. Source: vidcap from the movie cited above.


Here's my feeling: Unless you're a die-hard Star Wars fan, there's a slavegirl waiting in the wings that's going to blow Slavegirl Leia right out of the Iconic Slavegirl market. Her name is Slave Ana, and she belongs to Christian Gray, and yeah, I'm talking about 50 Shades of Gray.


All Slave Leia does is run around in a skimpy slave girl costume for a time. If the movie version of 50 Shades of Gray is anything like as popular as the book, and stays faithful to it (and filmmakers seem finally to have figured out that staying faithful to the original makes for successful movies) then Ana will be the person people think of when they think of "slave giri." Image source: Training of O.com.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

50 Shades of Gray Spoofs


I believe I've discovered Zsa Zsa Gabor's celebrity clone! How do I keep doing it? (It's Tatiana from Fucking Dungeon.)

I'm beginning to think I should just give up and call this blog "Just Another 50 Shades of Gray Bandwagoneer." The simple fact is, though, that my flying monkeys bring in tons more 50 Shades of Gray stuff than everything else that's out there combined.

And I'm an IDIOT to be complaining about it, because I get more good material from 50 Shades of Gray than ALL OTHER STUFF combined. For example, today we have a site that has done us a favor of aggregating all the 50 Shades of Gray spoofs that are out there. Seven different videos with 50 Shades of Gray humor, brought to you by The Stir, which is very much a mommy kind of website, but which runs a LOT of 50 Shades of Gray stuff. I guess we have similar interests, all those moms and us. Excellent! (Rubs hands together Mr. Burns of the Simpson style.) The article includes an image of a woman with her hands chained behind her back, rather badly dome and lame bondage, but better than all the nothing that would be out there WITHOUT 50 Shades of Gray.

Monday, June 25, 2012

Classic Novels Get Erotically Romanced


"I am sure there is a good reason why I must be blindfolded and gagged before I meet this new suitor, but I cannot imagine what it might be..." Image source: cover of the novel "Jane Eyre Laid Bare."

Well here's another bit of the liscentiousness of 50 Shades of Gray getting all jiggy with mainstream culture. Found an article about eight classic novels re-imagined as erotic romances. Check it out, as you can see from the cover alone, the idea of Jane Eyre as a masochist is funny on visual grounds alone. The story has got to be gold. Buzzfeed has a few other such novels listed. Good work! And good work, my flying monkeys!

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Does Obama's Mother Have A Celebrity Clone?


On the left, Stanley Ann Dunham, mother of President Obama. On the right, Marcy Moore, bondage model and celebrity clone. Apparently, the mad scientists have been onto this stuff longer than I thought! Image source: This Youtube video, at the 57 second mark.

My flying monkeys brought in this tidbit recently. It has been swirling around the conservative blogosphere for years now: apparently, Stanley Ann Dunham, the mother of President Obama, had a celebrity clone who was a bondage model back in the 60s, named Marcy Moore.

Devout readers of this blog, if there are any, will recall that I found a politically-oriented celebrity clone some time ago: former Saturday Night Live comedian Victoria Jackson turned conservative political activist has a celebrity clone named Holly Morgan, who's a porn star.

In that article, I took the opportunity to point out my immense moral superiority to imaginary political operatives who would stoop to claiming such a photo was for reals.

I think you can see where this is going: ladies and gentlemen, meet Joel Gilbert, the filmmaker behind "Dreams of My Real Father." Mr. Gilbert's video's concept is that Frank Marshall, a U.S. academic and "socialist" (I don't know if Mr. Marshall is a socialist or not, I put the word in quotes because the term in modern far right circles has been so overused that it now means little more than "not a far-right conservative")was the actual father of President Obama.

And what's more, Marshall was supposedly an amateur photographer who took lots of fetishy photos to launch a fetish magazine which bombed, and who then sold the photos for his failed magazine to other, more successful magazines, like Bizarre Life and Exotique. And, according to Gilbert, one of the models that was in those photos was: Ann Dunbar, Obama's mother.


Left to right: President Obama's mother, Ann Dunham (1), Bondage model Marcy Moore (1), Dunham (2) and Moore (2). Are they the same woman? I don't think so. They both have large, slightly underslung jaws and similarly shaped mouths and noses. But Dunham's jaw is larger than Moore's, and the shape is different. Moore's jaw is rounder, while Dunham's is squared off. Dunham's cheeks' are flatter, as well, and the brow is shaped differently. The shape of the eyebrows, the shape of the eyes and the size of the lips are all ascribable (potentially) to skilled use of cosmetics. But basically, these are two different women, I think. Granted, the way anyone looks in a photo can vary a lot depending on angle and lighting and how they emphasize or de-emphasize features -- my search for celebrity clone images is often informed by that. You could look at most of my celebrity clone images carefully and find reason to suppose they are not the same woman. It's not a problem for me though, because I never make that claim. I only claim that they look alike. Smart of me! Image sources: various sites around the Web.

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and I think it's fair to say that Gilbert is making an extraordinary claim here. And hard evidence is not in evidence here. Basically, he has about the same evidence I have when I make claims about celebrity clones in bondage/porn. All he has beyond the resemblance between Ann Dunham and Marcy Moore is a theory that the sofa, a hi-fi and a bit of flooring that is seen in some of the porn shoots is the same as was in the house Marshall lived in when he was friends with Obama's mother.

Now to make clear just how shallow Gilbert's theory is, I must reveal the deep, dark secret of my celebrity clone articles, and hope you will not lose whatever respect you have for me, if you had any in the first place. (Yes, I know, this is not a major risk). Are you sitting down? Good! Here it is: you can find celebrity clones of practically ANYONE if you look hard enough, because so many pornographic images have been taken that there's a huge amount of material out there.

I know, not much to it, but it's true: the fact that images of any given non-porn person can bear a strong resemblance to some person who has done porn is darned near meaningless. Which is why I have always had the good sense to treat it as what it is: a joke.


Marcy Moore being genuinely pornographic, circa 1970. Nice! Image source: The Internets.

Now the thing is, this story about Dunham being Marcy Moore has been floating around in conservative circles for years. It has never gotten into the conservative mainstream, much to the credit of the conservative mainstream, probably because of the general lack of evidence for the claim. Only real trash like World Net Daily have covered it. Now that's a remarkable thing to say, because this is the same conservative mainstream that has presented Birther nonsense (i.e., Obama was not born in Hawaii) long after it was demonstrated to be idiocy. And which has given a platform to intelligent design advocates, despite, basically ALL the evidence on evolution being against them.

Conservative mainstream media people are not HUGELY dependent on evidence is what I am saying, in the sense that they routinely ignore all of it that does not fit their political agendas. I'm assuming that the real reason they ignored the story is that it would be see as a pointless and vicious attack on Obama's mother by everyone who was not a hard-core conservative. And you gotta give them credit for at least being able to understand that, given the evidence-free nature of many of mainstream conservatives' bloviating.

Gilbert is attempting to give new legitimacy to the story with his research into sofas and hi-fis in old bondage magazine photos. Now you would think that I would be very happy if his theory went to the exact same nowhere that the story went to when it first surfaced. Not true!

I want this story to make it in the conservative media, not because I support it in any way, but because I want to enjoy the spectacle of conservative talking heads poring over old bondage photos and talking in assured tones about the resemblance between Dunham and Moore and this hi-fi and that hi-fi, while I laugh my ass off at them. It would be REALLY nice if I could watch their last bits of self-respect dry up and crumble, leaving them entirely hollowed-out shells while they do it, but that rarely happens on camera.

I'm not worried about the story gaining any traction beyond conservative media, because the story is in fact pointless. Suppose Ann Dunham DID pose for fetish photos in her hot and racy youth? SO WHAT? She's not the President, her son is, and after four years of Obama, most people know what they have in him, one way or the other, and are happy with him or not.

(For the record, I am not at all happy with Obama, because I'm a progressive, and to me the next election is a choice between Obama, whom I see as basically a Reagan Republican, and Romney, who basically represents wealthy conservative political oligarchs and no one else. Obama is just way too far to the right to suit me. So by conservative logic, if Obama is a socialist (as they keep saying) I'm a fucking crazy anarcho-ultra-radical revolutionary screaming Marxist with a bomb in each hand and a rocket up his butt. Just sayin! I think of myself more as a European style social democrat, which in Europe tends to be considered moderate to slightly right of center.)


Could that be Barbara Bush, mother of George W. Bush, letting it all hang out of that straightjacket? Naaaaaaa ... Image source: Hogtied.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Error in Translation


Her friends kept telling her never to order from the portion of a Chinese menu written entirely in Chinese because you never knew what you would get. "But that's EXACTLY why I order from the Chinese text!" she had responded. She wished she had ordered TWO of this, kinbuku youyou, or whatever it was. Image source: Fucking Dungeon.com.


Friday, June 22, 2012

50 Shades of Gray Creates Boom In Rope Sales Att Hardware Stores


"We're gonna need more rope! To the hardware store! I'll just ... hang around ..." Image source: Fucking Dungeon.com.

According to an NBC News report, 50 Shades of Gray is creating a boom in the sale of soft cotton rope at hardware stories. I don't know that the article is front-line jounalism of the first water ... no surveys were cited ... but it's a fun piece. There's even a brief, blurry, blink-and-you've-missed-it image of a woman in black panties with her hands tied behind her back. Now that's teasin' with sleaze!

Monday, June 18, 2012

Dramatic Nude Bondage


The Hogtied.com version of a three-legged race is a six-legged race ... and it's WAAAY harder than a three-legged race. Image source: Hogtied.com.

Alternatively: The thing that made their hearts beat faster was that he had told them he had left to go to the store and get MORE rope!

Alternatively Alternatively: (ONe day about a year from now) "I HATE the way Hollywood COMPLETELY ignored the story in 50 Shades of Gray, but some of the imagery WAS nice." (Bret Easton Ellis is very eager to do the screenplay for 50 Shades of Gray, I can't imagine a person less likely to do a good job, or to understand the underlying appeal of the story. If he writes the script, look for something like this.)

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Dangers of Auditioning and Rehearsal for Modern Horror Films


The all-girl movie version of The Human Centipede's auditions were so grueling that being called to the casting couch was considered something of a break. Image source: The Training of O.com.

Alternatively: after a while, method actresses just stopped going to Human Centipede auditions, for fear that they might get cast.

Monday, June 11, 2012

The Fast and Easy Guide To Playing Second Life Gor


Beauty, adventure, excitement, combat and sexy fun await you in Second Life Gor. Get on it!

OK, I've been working for weeks on my definitive, or at least somehow useful guide to getting started in Second Life Gor. The goal has been from the beginning to let people get started fast and easy.

To that end, I've broken the article into six different sections, each exploring a different aspect of playing in Second Life Gor.

The first article, Getting Started in Second Life Gor, tells you how to get into Second Life and where to get all the freebie goodies and how to find Gorean roleplay sims. You'll be having fun getting new freebie stuff and playing with it in minutes. Read that article and go, read the others afterward as you move into new areas. The second article, How To Commit Sexual Roleplay in Second Life Gor, is second because you know you want to. Here's how it works. Then ins and outs. Ahem. Shows you how conventions have evolved to let people who have various approaches to and levels of interest in sexual roleplay enjoy the game together. You don't HAVE to do it ... but you CAN do it, if you want to.

The third article, Raiding in Second Life Gor,explains how to learn the skills you'll need to be a successful Gorean warrior, outlaw, panther girl or battle slave. The fourth article, OOC and IC in Second Life Gor, and Lifestyle Gor, is a VERY useful guide to the principles of roleplay in Second Life Gor. Here is where the cowpies you don't want to step in are. I would recommend reading it before engaging in Second Life roleplay, but the choice is yours. The fifth article, 50 Shades of Second Life Gor, was written because I figure with ten million readers of 50 Shades of Gray, we might just have a few people coming over from the books for some BDSMish roleplay, and this article is intended as a way to explain to them the benefits of Gorean roleplay for fans of 50 Shades of Gray. The sixth article, Gor Evolved and By The Book Gor, describes a basic split in Second Life Gor. There are Gor Evolved sims, and By the Book sims. Here's how it happened and how the two different kinds of lands operate, to help you choose your flavor of Gor.

All articles kinkily illustrated, of course. Now get our there and have yourselves some fun!

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Cheerleader Waits In Locker Room


The Central State's Division 3XXX league's play got a lot more competitive when the tradition formed that the cheerleaders of the losing team had to report to the winning team's locker room ready to do whatever they were told to do. Cheerleading tryouts became a lot more competitive, too! Image source: Sex and Submission.

Alternatively: Megan's mom had told her that hanging out in the boy's locker room after practice was no way to be popular ... but Megan found that it had its compensations.

Friday, June 8, 2012

50 Shades of BDSM Stereotypes


I hope he steretypically fucks my brains out!" Image source: Sex and Submission.

Ran across an article on the Huffington Post that did an excellent job of disputing the stereotypes about male dominants that float around in the culture and are unfortunately confirmed by the Christian Gray character in 50 Shades of Gray. Best of all, it disputes them with some good clean science! Nice to see something fairly substantive showing up in my flying monkeys' grab bags. Most of the articles they find are rather shallow, but whaddya expect, they are flying monkeys and a lot of the stuff they find are from the more mainstream-ish sites.

I don't think the character was created by E.L. James to confirm such stereotypes. She just wanted to create a brooding hero like the male lead of Wuthering Heights. But there is is, she sure did confirm the stereotypes. I'm so pleased with her success, but I guess you gotta take the good with the bad.

Monday, June 4, 2012

A Chained Beauty in Barbaric Finery


"Now if only I had a gag, my ensemble would be complete." Image srouce: the gorean life tumblr blog.

Like many bloggers, I have a problem with tumblr sites, mainly because of attribution. Typically there isn't any, just a link to a site that has repostedd the same photo from another site, that reposted the photo from another site, that reposted, etc. But I have to recommend this site because it has a very nice, very large, very eclectic set of images that revolve around the theme of Gorean life, most of them pictures of hot slave girls.

In this case I'm making an exception because it's such a nice image of a slavegirl decked out in chains and barbaric finery. The beauty is wearing a thick metal collar, cuffs and shackles, but also a very nice necklace, a waist belt which really sets off the curve of the hips, and slave bracelets. It all works together very nicely I think, to present the concept of "slave" paired with "beauty." You can't look at that picture without imagining that the woman is supposed to be a slave. Plus, of course, the woman is sitting in the Gorean "tower" position.


Here's another great way to complete the ensemble! Image source: also the gorean life tumblr blog though I strongly suspect this image originated in a website that sells that sort of ornamentation.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Slave Girls Channel on Youtube


I'd say Spartacus TV series on the Starz network is doing slave girl imagery about as well as any mainstream source ever has. Here we have a naked, barbarously bedecked slave girl being used sexually for the amusement of Romans. That's a slavegirl! Nothing like it on the Youtube channel, of course. Source: vidcap from Spartacus TV series, episode, "Legends."

Looking at the comments section of this blog, I found a reference to a Youtube channel called Slave Girls that was being started up back in 2010. It's basically a bunch of mainstream scenes of slave girls on television, and on the sort of movies that could be shown on mainstream television uncut. There's a sort of goofy humor to them, especially the stuff from Hayes Code era movies and 1960s television, when slavegirls could be sexy but not in any way that could make you understand their sexiness, other than being attractive and female. There's not a lot of actual bondage (I think a scene of Jasmine in chains from Aladdin and a video of image of Slavegirl Leai from Star Wars is about it) and no sex, as you might expect.

There's also some wrestling videos that are more problematical, images of women on their hands and knees so burly wrestlers can use them as a stepping stone to get into the ring. I'm not sure what to make of them except, you know ... wrassling ...

Check it out, see what you think.