Sunday, July 31, 2011

Celebrity Bondage Gets More Bondagees

Christina Aguilera, ball gagged, almost naked and kinda-sorta chained, looking wonderful except for the damn clown make up that mainstream idiot makeup artists associate with bondage themes for some reason.

Well I've been busy this week pumping up the volume on the Celebrities in Bondage page on Bondagerotica, adding Christina Aguilera (see above), Cameron Diaz, Jasmine Waltz, Shakira, Megan Fox, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Katy Perry and Liv Tyler to the list of celebrities already on the page.

I'm doing it because I've noticed that an awful lot of my hits are coming from the celebrities in bondage section, so might as well load some more in and see what happens. Besides, the bondage for celebrities has been getting funky, especially for the vocalists. So click on the pic or click here and check them out!

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Adventure Bound Comics Have It Going On

Mostly naked bound and gagged Amazons being herded off to sex slavery by other Amazons. Life is good!

Adventure Bound comics is a site where a variety of artists create comic adventures with a definite bondage theme. There's this story about Amazons at war, another about Barbarian Babes captured, and plenty of other stories about spies, kidnap victims, all the fun stuff you like on a good damsel in distress bondage site. Check it out here or click on the pic above.

It is good to be the queen!

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Conan vs. John Carter: Naked Slave Girl Showdown!

Not by the book. Not by the book at all. Lynn Collins as Dejah Thoris, Taylor Kitsch as John Carter. No extra points for guessing which one's which.

Trailers for two eagerly-awaited sword and sorcery/sandal films are up: John Carter of Mars and Conan. The John Carter trailer can be found here. The Conan trailer can be found here. Check 'em out!

Now here's the thing about John Carter of Mars. It's based on a series of books set on Mars (called “Barsoom” by the natives) and early on the author, Edgar Rice Burroughs, makes it clear that the natives do not wear much of anything in the way of clothing in the normal course of events. Basically all they wear is shoulder harnesses. Kinda like the X-shaped harness at the very top of John Carter's body in the photo. And nothing else, male and female.

As you can see, Disney is not following Burrough's design … how could they, they're fricking DISNEY? So naturally they've got both characters wrapped up in a whole lot more clothing than the books call for. Well, we all knew Disney was not gonna follow through on the “naked Martians” thing. But the thing is, a lot of artists have interpreted Dejah Thoris' costuming and substituted a skimpy thong and bra top and some barbaric jewelry for full frontal nudity, and it came out pretty damn good … check out the incomparable Frank Frazetta's take on Dejah Thoris and John Carter:

Frank Frazetta demonstrates why he rules and Disney sucks.

Or check out the also very damn good Frank Cho's take on Dejah Thoris:

Frank Cho demonstrates why he rules and Disney sucks.

And of course there are a lot of topnotch artists who totally got the memo on Martian nudity and went with it (to be fair, Frank Cho is one of them, in other images) such as Adam Hughes::

Adam Hughes demonstrates why he rules and Disney sucks.

A Google Image search for “Dejah Thoris” will turn up a lot of other evidence that most artists went with the “naked” option for portraying the inhabitants of Barsoom. Disney did not, undoubtedly because they want to keep things “family” and get the kiddies and the arrested development types that are Flanderses (I.e, social conservatives who disapprove of nudity in art on moral grounds) into the theaters. If you can manage that and still have a movie with a great story and great characterization and other visual treats that will attract people in general, you will make a ton of money, but such movies are rare as hen's teeth. Here's why: the same censorious impulses that make the moviemakers shy away from nudity tend to make them shy away from other content that might offend the easily offendable, and that sort of content can be very dramatic and powerful. So, as a general rule, visually censored films tend to be weaksauce stuff, not very good just from the viewpoint of adults who like good drama.

Dejah shows up in female warrior garb as well, but it's hardly the stuff of chicks in a chainmail bikini dreams.

And of course this full length gown is very Disney, and very worrisome.

There's also another aspect: good writers don't like dealing with censorious executives representing the viewpoints of Flanderses telling them “no you can't do this and no you can't do that” so they tend to seek out venues where they can write with maximum freedom. It is not a coincidence that some of the very best writing in any visual medium is coming out of premium channels and has been for years: Sopranos, Deadwood, Spartacus, Game of Thrones and many others have all been noted for absolutely topnotch writing … and that's because they are attracting absolutely topnotch writers who know they can write their scripts the way they think they should be written.

But I gotta say, this image of a Martian airship and some of the other imagery in the trailer is a hopeful sign … very nice work.

And it's not a coincidence that shows like Spartacus and Game of Thrones show naked slavegirls in chains, naked slavegirls having sex, etc, because that's very dramatic and the writers know that.

Which is why I am so very intrigued with the new Conan movie.

Now this does not show up in the trailer seen above, but there are some leaked stills from the new Conan movie over on a site called Clatto Verata, and what do you know, things are very different there:

Hey, what do you know, topless tavern wenches in barbaric finery. It's like somebody knows what they are doing.

And the goodness does not end with the topless tavern wenches:

Hmm. Topless slaves in barbaric finery … and chains. Now, that's getting the slavegirly goodness right.

Clearly, the people who made the Conan movie have absorbed the same lesson the people who made Spartacus and Game of Thrones did, which is that naked slave girls can add quite a bit of spice to your average sword and sorcery flick. Now, if I had to bet a large sum of money on which film was going to do better at the box office, I'd unhesitatingly put my money on “Conan” just knowing what I know now which, granted, is not very much. And yes, it's because of the nudity, though casting Jason Momoa as Conan also demonstrates some smarts – he really tore things up as barbaric king Khol Drago in Game of Thrones.

Frankly, I'd try to avoid making any such bet at present, because as I've said in my book Slavegirls in the Movies and On TV: The Hottitude of Servitude, no amount of naked slavegirly goodness can make up for bad plotting, characterization, direction and/or acting. If it could, every last sword and sorcery film released would look like a Skinamax production. But all other things being equal the people who are making Conan clearly have a much better grasp of the genre than Disney does.

I am, however, concerned about the fact that the movie is being released in mid-August, because August is typically a month in which studios dump movies they think will be serious bombs at the box office. In fact, the August release date alone makes me want to switch my wager the other way except that networks are sometimes poor judges of quality where SF and fantasy themes are concerned.

Time will tell of course. By March 2012 (John Carter's release date) we'll know the truth of it. But it's always fun to speculate.

And do go check out the Clatto Verata website, it's got some very tasty stuff beside the Conan stills, such as images of Lucy Lawless naked and orgying with slavegirls, and an interview with one of the Spartacus slave girls, and frankly, one hell of a lot of other stuff we might find of interest.

And let me remind you of the costume worn by Tracy Lords as Dejah Thoris in the cheapie SyFy Channel Barsoom movie, "A Princess of Mars." Sad, truly sad.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Cowgirls At War True Romance War Comics

Click on the pic for a larger image of it which won't fit on this page, and in which the text will be a lot more readable. It's worth it.

Way back in the 1970s, boys and girls, The National Lampoon was a magazine, not a movie studio, and it was one hell of a wild ride of a magazine. People did not think of National Lampoon as a purveyor of bottom-feeder movies as they do today (such as Awesomest Maximus,” which is covered in my book Slavegirls in the Movies and On TV: The Hottitude of Servitude). It was full of some of the wildest, funniest, edgiest, zaniest stuff being done, by some of the best comedy writers of the time (much as is hoovering up a lot of the best comedy writers on the Web). National Lampoon Magazine produced a whole slew of top comedy talents: Doug Kenney, Hank Beard, George W. S. Trow, Chris Miller, P. J. O'Rourke, Michael O'Donoghue, Chris Rush, Sean Kelly, Tony Hendra, Brian McConnachie, Phil Russell and John Hughes – and many others.

Well when National Lampoon decided to produce the “Encyclopedia of Humor” in 1973, one of the little bits they came up with was “Cowgirls At War,” a truly twisted comic book mashup of WWII adventure comics, true romance comics, cowboy comics and bondage comics. The imagery was mostly WWII fighting and bondagettes dressed in cowgirl outfits when they weren't entirely naked, and the text was all true-romance cliches. Comic artist Russ Heath drew it, Micheal McDonald wrote it.

It was fricking HILARIOUS!

Above is a panel from it. And here's a link to the cover (scroll down a bit to see it).


Friday, July 15, 2011

The Serpentine Fire Dancer … of Gor … The Video!

New video up! Click and watch!

I created a new video to promote my book Slave Girls In The Movie and On TV: The Hottitude of Servitude. I worked to make the video synch better with the audio, having the dancer appear to be dancing to the tune. Turns out there are quite a few tricks I can use. Click on the video and see for yourself.

Friday, July 8, 2011

WTF Happened To This Blog On June 14? -- The Tupperware Anomaly!

Actual screen cap of my stats for the last month. June 14 is … atypical ...

So I checked my site stats the other day, just to see what was going on, and I saw the graph you see above. Everything is mooching along at the normal 500-600 page views a day until June 14, when suddenly the site stat jumps up to 16,000 views out of nowhere, and jumps right back down almost immediately.

WTF? I mean, what the fuck?

Clicking on that day's stats gives me links to the top sources of my hits, and one of them was responsible for 15,000+ hits, google image search. And clicking on that showed what I presume is the image that all those hits were searching for: the picture in this article.

Now to my uninformed eyes there's nothing particularly particular about the photo, except it is one of the very few unsourced photos on this blog (i.e., photos I don't know the source of … when I know it, I reveal it, and provide a link if possible, that being the proper thing to do).

The annoying thing is, I have NO idea what led to all those searches … all I can think is that it was referenced (maybe even hotlinked) by some much more popular website or message board, but was pulled after one day or maybe the members don't backtrack much for old posts. I sure would like to know, but I don't know how to find out. (I did a Google search for the url of the relevant post, but found nothing).

Anyone who has any idea why a blog post put up last November would create a spike this June, let me know. Otherwise, may I say … WTF????!!!!!

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

The Ballgagged Candidate

All hail our new Fearless Leader!

Well it has finally happened. A candidate for public office has finally appeared in a photo, naked and wearing a ballgag. And it's not Anthony Weiner!

What's more it's a young and attractive person (by the standards of politics, admittedly a very, very, very loose standard). Even more surprisingly, it's a female person! (Betcha thought that was the "gotcha!" here, but it's not.)

Of course there IS a "gotcha!" How could there not be? But it's a tiny gotcha -- the woman, Holly-Ann Battye (the God of Scandal Names must love us of late – first Weiner, now this!) is running for a seat in the South Northants Council ward of Cosgrove and Grafton, -- the land is merrie olde England, not the U.S. of A, and the post is similar to being a county commissioner. She is a liberal democrat, which I think by the Greyman's standards means, Ultra Socialist From Hell, but in England is more middle of the road, and what's more the liberal democratic party is sticking by her in her moment of naked fetishness, even after her photos turned up on a Deviant Art page called "Holly the Wolly."

The candidate says she hopes by her unorthodox behavior that she will "bring something new" to Parliament, and perhaps she is right. Generally it is the voters who wind up in metaphorical bondage -- it's a new day of some sort when the politicians wind up in literal bondage. We need more of this in Congress! Every Congressman who tells a verifiable whopper, like Mitt Romney of late, winds up in a ballgag. It wouldn't be sexy, at least to me, but it would be … just!

No, I didnt make this story up. It's for real.