Wednesday, August 29, 2018

The Adventures of Jinkie Jenkins Now Available on Amazon

I've combined “Jinkie Jenkins, Interstellar Sex Reporter – Assignment: Durango 3” and “Jinkie Jenkins on Sexquest Station” and “Attack of the 100 Foot Virgin” into a single tremendous volume, “The Adventures of Jinkie Jenkins.” It's 108,000 words long, and while some people would say it won't make you richer, thinner and smarter, there's no scientific evidence that it WON'T. And that means it WILL make you richer, thinner and smarter, by Occam's Shaving Brush.

Jinkie Jenkins is the story of a virginal young wannabe investigative reporter who is hired by the Interstellar Inquirer and put on the interstellar sex beat by her shady editor. She wants to cover the kidnapping of Alderan, an entire planet, supposedly done by the Borkistani pirates. Instead of tracking down the pirates, she finds herself encountering rump plug plopping contests, herds of wild ponygirls, sex slave training pens, and hucow stampedes, and she buys a sex slave on the cheap and becomes a 100-foot naked virgin giantess. That's the sex beat for ya.

(Yes, hucow stampedes! You know how many other stories have hucow stampedes? None of them! THAT'S how original this story is!)

Seriously, “The Adventures of Jinkie Jenkins” is seriously funny science fiction, and it's sexy as hell, too. How funny and sexy? Well, suppose you time traveled into the present and met a woman with the sexiness and looks of Estella Warren, and the funny of Tina Fey. You'd have to marry her, right? Well, that would be Iliza Schlesinger! Or if you're a woman, suppose you met a man as handsome as Ryan Reynolds and as funny as Stephen Colbert. That would be … Ryan Reynolds!

So go out and marry Iliza Schesinger and Ryan Reynolds, they're already married to other people in THIS timeline, but hey, this is science fiction and alternate timelines, right? And in the MEANTIME, buy this book! It's just like having Iliza Shlesinger for your wife, or Ryan Reynolds for your husband, if they were into sex slave fantasie -- but in book form. And this book is a LOT easier to get than Iliza Shlesinger or Ryan Reynolds. (I'm not saying they like to play hard to get, mind you, it's just that this book is REALLY EASY to get, I mean, totally slut-level easy, especially if you have Kindle Unlimited.)

By the way, this book is banned on the planet Alderan. And they've got their reasons. No need to go into that here. Read the book and find out why!

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