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Friday, January 24, 2020
Somebody Has Written A Parody of "Date Night On Union Station" and I'm Pretty Sure It Was Me
If you LOVED Date Night On Union Station (Book 1 of the EarthCent Ambassador series) you'll LOVE Late Nights On Onion Station the sexy, sexy parody of "Date Night on Union Station" written by the infamous Pat Powers, author of Crazy Aunts and Scary Uncles and Jenkie Jenkins, Interstellar Sex Reporter.
Onion Station lies in the outermost reaches of human-explored space, a gigantic artifact created by the alien Zuks, artificial intelligences that are so badly programmed that they are extreme libertarians. They run Onion Station with a fine disregard for safety, comfort and well-being of the various alien species that dwell in their station, including the humans.
But it's the beings who live in Onion Station that make it the unique, exciting and strange place that it is, and when the Earth Ambassador to Onion Station starts dating an actual human man (much to her mother's relief) everything changes on Onion Station. This simple act of dating will bring together a fascinating group of characters:
Kitty Reinhardt, the human ambassador to Onion Station, is totally dedicated to her work. She earns the 25 cents an hour that the tight-fisted Zuks pay her the hard way, i.e., attending diplomatic receptions and helping Earth firms negotiate trade deals with the many other alien races in Zuk space. She's proud of what she does for humans in her role as ambassador (but it is too bad about the starving people who die regularly in the lower corridors of the human sector of Onion Station). But it's her relationship with her more than just comfortable chair that is a source of deep shame to her, even though she's not at all guilty about her taste for kinky maledom/femsub bondage sex.
Mike Bonus, the trader with a heart of gold who buys the contracts of starving humans by the dozens on the cheap at Onion Station and sells them off to slave traders on crapsack worlds for a fat profit – and who is revered as a saint by the humans whose contracts he sells.
Kitty Reinhardt's chair, which seems sentient to Kitty, given that it converses with her and does things to her that previously were confined to safely nonsentient machines like vibrators -- but which the Zuks SWEAR is not sentient.
The Sisters of Mercy, who rescue starving humans crawling through the mean corridors of Union Station ... but whom many starvelings would describe as anything BUT merciful.
Dweezil the Dreddarian, a six-limbed otterlike alien with a sharp eye for info-trading and a very commercial approach to friendship.
The Fringe, treelike aliens who have a taste for Earth epiphytes to hang in their canopies.
And the Zuks, the artificial intelligences who run Onion Station and live in fear of the massive artificial intelligence that runs the station itself, because it's definitely one of your more godlike artificial intelligences, and it's just as benevolent as the Zuks who created it.
But most of all, you'll have fun, and lots of it, as a favorite series is parodied senseless by someone who has read and enjoyed every book in the series.
What can I say, I'm a sucker for space opera!
So go ahead, dig in already. And if you have not read "Date Night on Union Station" go ahead, get over there, dig in, you'll enjoy it! The whole series is on Kindle Unlimited! It's sexless, but it's fun. And "Late Nights On Onion Station" well, it provides all the kinky sex an adult mind needs to ... adult ... and it's ALSO on Kindle Unlimited!
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