I enjoyed parodying "Late Night On Onion Station" so I thought I'd give parody another shot, this time a SLIGHTLY better-known property, "Star Trek." I'm a fan, watched TOS, the Next Generation and some episode of Voyager and Enterprise, as well as all of the movies. I even married a woman who went to Dragoncon wearing a tribble suit. I didn't marry her FOR that reason, but it should be noted that it didn't deter me in the slightest, in fact, it was cool to me.
So I felt fully qualified to parody Star Trek. I decided to base my parody on TOS, because let's face it, there's a LOT of room for parody there. Most especially sexual parody, since The Original Series was an unreconstructed product of the sixties, with Captain Kirk jumping on any green-skinned alien woman he can find and Lt. Baskethead (I mean, Rand) sexing up the show for no particular reason, a task soon taken over by Nichelle Nichols.
I didn't entirely confine myself to TOS characters, I included Lieutenant Worf (Lt. Rorf Woof in my story) from Next Generation mainly because I was going to have Klingons, too, and he would come in handy for several reasons.
For the same reason, I had an Orion slave girl ("Aurion" in my story) as a cultural attache on the crew, helping integrate the Orions into the Federation, or as I called it, the Agglomeration. Encountering the Empire of the Collar (essentially, Collar World in space with gigantic men, because why the hell not?) the Participation Prize crew would naturally call on an Aurion slave girl for advice on how to deal with such a sexy menace.
Especially since the Empire of the Collar is technologically far in advance of both the Agglomeration and the Klingons (“Klaxons” in my story). It would have made an interesting story for Star Trek, except of course that Star Trek would never have been sex-positive and kink-positive.
And of course, being an erotic parody I was free to follow the sexiest, kinkiest elements of the story as far as I wanted to, which was very far, indeed. And I did not neglect the humor either, I had a LOT of fun with story and characters.
It's a shame media Trek could never follow where I have gone before. I've been to science fiction conventions, I've SEEN what the fan base gets up to, left on their own. They would have loved it. In the meantime, there's my parody, I'm hoping fans will love it. Maybe you will, too. Either way, live long and pump her.
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