Riverbeast: The Journey Will Be Made Into A Full Length Major Motion Picture!

Will telegenic contortionist and bondage model Wenona grab the coveted lead role in the Riverbeast movie based on her ability and willingness to do scenes like this? Time will tell! Image source: Hogtied.com ... for all your hogtied women needs!
I've had to keep this under wraps for a while, but my agent, Pauline Perell, has called and I'm free to Tell All: my novel Riverbeast: The Journey will be made into a major motion picture! It's set in the 1820s on the Mississippi River, the story of the beautiful young rich merchant's daughter who is kidnapped by a keelboat captain who is furious at her father for cheating him in a business deal. She is made into a sex beast on the keelboat and then sold into actual slavery to the owner of a saloon in a notorious outlaw hideout, the keelboat captain claiming she is a runaway octoroon. What turned the idea into an actual movie was the pitch line, Perell says: "Django Unchained Meets Fifty Shades of Grey" opened a lot of doors, as studio execs have noted the box office success of both movies.

Casting is even now underway, with Meryl Streep, Lindsay Lohan, Wenona, Queen Latifa, Halle Berry, Jennifer Lawrence, Kristen Stewart and many, many others vying for the role of Constance Euharlee, and James Franco, Adam Sandler, Seth Rogan, Michael Douglas, Zack Gallifinakis and Will Smith vying for the role of Big Al.

The movie has required a few script changes but they are minor things that shouldn't affect the message, tone and style of the story, I am assured. Riverbeast will be set in the future and on another planet, there won't be any sex, nudity or bondage scenes, Constance Euharlee will be a teen with superhuman powers and her kidnappers will be aliens with no interest in sex with humans. Big All will be an intergalactic cop who plays by his own rules. And there will be a giant spider in the movie. And it will be a PG-13 film. But otherwise, I'm assured, it will be exactly the same story. Can't wait to see it on the big screen!

And I just have to let this tidbit out: My novels The Honey Trapp Adventures and President Slavegirl are in development in a major motion picture studio as well (can't spill the beans on which one!). Perell tells me that when movie execs are told there's a scene where a female President of the United States is put on a rape rack and forced to give a Wall Street tycoon a blowjob while her mocks her as an idiot for not following the Rules of Money, they go wild. This movie is on a fast track indeed!

Seven Reasons Everyone Wants To See Lindsay Lohan As Ana in Fifty Shades of Grey

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James Deen Is Not Having Sex With Lindsay Lohan (at the moment)

An actress who is probably not Lindsay Lohan, she's probably Trina Michaels, but she IS having sex with James Deen on camera. Image source: Sex and Submission video 14624.
The flying monkeys brought in this interesting tidbit, an article in the Huffington Post's celebrity section to the effect that porn star James Deen (see above) is not sleeping with actress Lindsay Lohan.

I'll bet you were as shocked as I am to receive the news. I mean, the sheer CHUTZPAH of presenting a story about someone NOT sleeping with someone as NEWS! I mean, come on! I'M not having sex with Lindsay Lohan either! I think it likely that a not inconsiderable fraction of readers of this blog are not having sex with Lindsay Lohan as well!

Granted, Ms. Lohan and Mr. Deen do have some acquaintance, as they are playing lovers in Brett Easton Ellis' film, "The Canyons." But that's as far as it goes, says Dean.

Now my acquaintance with Ms. Lohan is somewhat slight, in that she probably has no idea that I exist and would be horrified to discover that I did. And yet, despite all this, I am still not having sex with Lindsay Lohan. I want that understood!

And you, gentle readers, if you happen not to be sleeping with Lindsay Lohan, feel free to leave a comment in response to this post explaining that you are not having sex with Lindsay Lohan, and the circumstances that have led to your not having sex with Lindsay Lohan. The world deserves to know!

Lindsay Lohan Updates Old Bondage Theme

Lindsay Lohan lookin' good ... and lookin' captured.

I don't really follow celebrities much, but while engaged in other activities I ran across this image of Lindsay Lohan in a bikini and one of those monitoring devices they fasten on the ankles of drunk and drugged miscreants to ensure they are in their homes. Generally if they are not in their homes, they are carted off to jail where they don't need to be monitored because they're in cages.

That image really has my bondar (bondage radar) pinging.

I think it's a combination of things, not just the ankle cuff, because I've seen pictures of, say, Paris Hilton being hauled into a jailhouse and they haven't produced so much as a peep on my bondar.

Obviously the skimpy bikini and the really fine body inside it are a big part of my response. If Paris Hilton has been hauled into a jailhouse in a bikini, that might have had by bondar pinging too, though to my mind Lohan has a far superior figure to Hilton.

But the thing that really sets off the image is Lohan's carefree pose and the fact that instead of trying to hide the ankle cuff as most would, she's actually displaying it. She's presenting herself as a captive.

It's a sort of come-on ... come to Lindsay's house, she's cuffed there and helpless and barely dressed and waiting for you. The image has a vaguely Gorean feel to it, of the naked slavegirl chained helplessly to a block in the town square with a bowl beside her, free for the taking by anyone with a coin to toss in her master's bowl, piteously begging passers-by to use her.

Oh, she's got the sunglasses on, party stuff in her hand, she's TRYING to look cool, but that ankle cuff belies it all. She's as chained down as that slavegirl in the market. She put that bikini on and those fuck me shoes on for a reason. It's visual begging for sex. She needs the party to come to her, just like the slavegirl in the market.

The electronic ankle cuff gives the image a nice modern feel. An excellent update of an old bondage them. Way to go, Lindsay!