“Ever wonder why people can never seem to lose weight from doing crunches, even when they buy products like the Ab Flapper and the Crunchinator? It’s because they’re not doing them right. To lose weight, you have to have the special balance and discipline imposed by doing crunches while naked, gagged, collared, cuffed, and strapped down to a cot. Do that and your belly will shrink so fast you'll think you're wearing William Shatner's corset, even though you're not! And we at Bondagerotica are glad to offer you the Gag and Cot Crunch Set for a low, low, price -- a price so low we’re not even willing to tell you what it is. Or how to buy it. It works and it’s OURS, dammit!”
Image from Night Train To Terror..