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Thursday, February 28, 2013

Ten Highy Kinky Movies (That Are No Damn Fun)


J.J. Von Schnerk: "Vat, is dis naked, hogtied woman SMILINK? Does she know NUZZINK of how fine movies are made?" Image source: Hogtied.com.

On a site called Whatculture! they have a list of 10 Highly Kinky Films. The list describes what made the films kinky and also interesting and watchable. The films are (SPOILER ALERT, and really, go read the article, it's interesting enough and has pics)
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Preaching to the Perverted, Lorna, Spanking the Monkey, Bound, The Piano Teacher, Quills, Belle de Jour, 9 1/2 Weeks, Secretary, Crimes of Passion.

OK, here's my quickie reviews of all these films:
Preaching to the Perverted - didn't watch.
Lorna -- didn't watch, no reported bondage.
Spanking the Monkey -- didn't watch, no reported bondage, and squicky incest.
Bound -- watched, and OK gangster film with some good Skinamax style lesbian scenes and some nice damsel in distress nonsexual bondage.
The Piano Teacher -- didn't watch, tried, but too boring.
Quills -- also boring
Belle de Jour -- also boring
9 1/2 Weeks -- boring Skinamax trash that excluded all the bondage scenes in the book
Secretary -- the only film worth watching in the bunch. Maggie Gyllenhaal really does a great job of conveying the excitement, desperation and eroticism of her submissive character's feelings.
Crimes of Passion -- tried to watch it, boring.

Now you will have noticed that I have dismissed almost all of the bondage-content-bearing kinky films as boring. Well, sorry, that's my unfettered opinion of them. Like art films, mainstream films tend to handle kink as if were some horrible, serious necessity that people are forced to do by mysterious urges, possibly emanating from the Planet Netheria, which do not reward the users with pleasure and human contact, but force them to do very nasty things that they can barely stifle their gasps of horror while doing.

OK, I may be over-reaching there, but not by much. People do bondage for the same reason that people have vanilla sex, because it feels good and it's fun. But mainstream films can never portray that, that's left to porn, in most cases. A shame, because some poor kid who doesn't have access to porn may grow up thinking kinky=boring, based on what he or she sees in mainstream films.

Oh, well, I am glad mainstream sites are just listing kinky movies without Eeeewing them. That's progress, I guess.

3 comments:

Platypus the Fourth said...

How could you ignore the wonderful Preaching to the Perverted, when a series like Indie Sex gave it more importance than half the other stuff you listed?

Pat Powers said...

I didn't ignore it, I flat out missed it. If I had known of it, I might have watched it. Second Life Gor kind of puts movies of all kinds in perspective.

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