Thursday, May 1, 2008

Why Aren't There Any Naked or Half-Naked Women Dancing Channels On TV?

In which I make a valiant attempt to answer what is perhaps the most pressing yet curiously unasked question of our time. Wouldn't it be great to be able to turn the TV over to a channel that features good music and naked or half-naked (see illustration above) women dancing to it. We've got strip clubs all over the place which are a TESTAMENT to the interest guys have in naked women dancing, yet nobody has thought to create a cable channel to cater to this interest?

Good God, man, there's a freaking GOLF CHANNEL! There's a home and garden channel. So why not a strip club channel? I've written a fully illustrated article to address this question, so vital to our national something or other. It features images from the following films: Playboy Playmate Music Videos, Playboy Fantasies, Outlaw of Gor as seen on Mystery Science Theater 3000, Split Second, Midnight Tease 2, Day of the Warrior and Chupacabra Terror. It features images of the following actresses: Julie K. Smith, Donna Edmonson, Rebecca Armstrong, Barbara Edwards, Shannon Long, Sandy Greenberg, Coco Austin, Chelan Simmons, Luciana Salazar and Tina Shaw, as well as images of a host of unnamed bikini models. It's truly great journalism.

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