Monday, August 27, 2012

Alyona Minkovski: Naked, Chained Lesbian Bondage Fuck: Or Just A Clone Army At Work?

Alyona MinkovskI, up and coming Russian propagandist! Image source: vidcap from The Alyona Show on Russia TV.

Alyona MinkovskI has been hired away from Russia TV (Russia's news channel on Youtube) to the Huffington Post, which has started a new video channel. Looking at her picture above, you can see part of the reason they hired her: she's a very attractive woman. She's also smart as a whip, has a great telegenic presence, and is quick on her feet. It's no wonder she was by far Russia TV's most popular commentator. She'll bring a huge group of fanboys to the Huffington Post video channel if they ever get around to airing her show.

Here's Alyona clone and porn babe Sabrina Taylor doing the sort of stuff her fanboys could only imagine, i.e., making a great attempt to fist herself. Image source:

But as the above image indicates, Alyona has a problem: a clone problem. And not just your average clone problem, she's got an army of clones. Many, many clones. I found a few without really trying all that hard ... there are undoubtedly many more out there.

Here's Alyona chained in the Cold War dungeon where Soviet dominatrixes taught her to obey and love Vladimir Putin and all he stands for. OK, that's just a little reheated Cold War sex fantasy, it's actually model and Alyona Clone Tiger Wilde doing a scene for Whipped Ass ... but feel free to enjoy the Cold War fantasy! Image source: Whipped Ass.

Now the interesting question is, why does Alyona have so many clones? Well anyone who knows a little about mad science can figure out where that one leads: back to the Cold War, a halcyon period for Mad Science.

Here's Alyona naked, fucked and with an ass hook in her butt ... wait ... this just in ... it's not Alyona, it's her porn clone Jynx Maze. Is there no end to these Alyona clones? .... Probably not. Image source: Sex and

Here's my theory of why so many Alyona clones. A favorite movie of Cold Warriors around the world is of course Stanley Kubrick's masterpiece "Dr. Strangelove." One of the characters is an American general who is convinced that the Soviets are scheming to "drain American manhood of our precious bodily fluids!" (We'll give you one guess as to which particular bodily fluid he's referring to.)

Alyona clone Tiffany Star flashes a bright smile. Source: Also an FTVgirl.

Well Mad Scientists can be sort of literal and clueless at times ... that's why we love 'em, among other things! ... and it's very likely that some Russian mad scientists saw the movie and thought, "Of course! We will win by draining the Americans of their precious bodily fluids!" And so they created an army of Alonya celebrity clones with horny, porny proclivities and a mission to drain American males of their precious bodily fluids, once Alyona became Youtube famous. Line starts to the left and ends at Tierra del Fuego, guys!

Alyona, naked and tied and wearing some nipple weights, gives blowjob for the Motherla ... oh, wait, it's Jynx Marx ... I mean, Jynx Maze ... again. Darn all these celebrity clones! So confusing! Image source: Sex and

The only other explanation is that while Alyona's features are attractive and regular, they are not really all that different and remarkable, and hence a lot of brunettes with attractive, regular features in the porn industry might look like her in some photos, and that this whole clone army thing is a crazed Cold War fantasy much like the Domino Theory. And who would believe a preposterous thing like that?