A Moment of Pathos

Cover art to prevent Google from stomping my engagements. Actual post below.

She was a sucker of dildos destined for other women's pussies. She had reached the bottom of the barrel, and she knew it.

 

Image source: Kink shoot 2201, "Brooke Bound" starring Brooke Bound.

Belated Realization!

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When you're the main course in the picnic at hanging rock

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Great Expectations

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Fake AIs and Semi-Real Memories

 
This image is not what the article is about. It's a cover image. You see, whenever I post a top image (the one that will show up as the thumbnai image for the post) and it shows people fucking or sucking or dildo playing, the Google Blogger algorithm gets its feelers all hurtied and curb stomps my blog, sending engagement through the bottom of the floor. So this is a relatively safe image, a Civitai image that had an image of a naked woman for guidance and you see what I got. Sigh. Still, a very nice pic except for the left foot. I'll be labelling these "cover" images as such if and when I use them in the future, something like: Image source: cover image from Civitai.

Here's the REAL fake AI image that inspired this post:

I considered using this as one of the images in my previous post about botched Civitai artwork. But I didn't, because as I looked at it, something was nagging at me. This image was reminding me of something I had seen elsewhere. And it took me a while to figure out where. I suspect that's because I never saw the image in real life. I finally realized that this image, or something much like it, is what comes to mind whenever the phrase "Bukowski sex scene" comes to mind, which fortunately isn't too often. In fact, this is the perfect physical representation of a Charles Bukowski sex scene. Two people with faces ravaged by drugs having sex in a filthy, bare, disordered room, half slid off a stained, battered, threadbar sofa, both of them drunk or high on some ungodly drug, staring into the distance, unable to relate to one another as they drag their drugged bodies toward orgasm or something like it. I say this with confidence even though I have never actually read a Charles Bukowski novel. (I gave "Barfly" a shot but quit soon, because I couldn't muster a bit of interest in the drunken protagonist.) So there you have it, now it lives in your head too, poor thing. My apologies!

Behold the Horror of Civitai AI Botches

 Here's a few of the weird-looking disasters I got while trying to use Civitai to create sexy, kinky images in the midst of the credit-card company crackdown on sexiness. To be fair, these images were exceptions. Most of the images I got had minor issues like a deformed hand or wonky eyes in an otherwise all right picture. And much more frequently than I got these monstrosities, I got very nice, very usable art, which I have been using to promote my books. And when AI is good, it can be very, very good.

Yeah, this is straight-up body horror. I did not ask for anything like this. As I recall I was going for a fairly prosaic porn pose, but the Pornmaster model I was working with gave me more, and less, than I had bargained for.

Another bit of horror imagery brought to life unasked. This was from SDXL with no model, just a prompt for a naked woman tied to a bed spreadeagled with ropes. SDXL never did manage to actually tie the woman with ropes, though it did put ropes in every iteration, just lying around looking ropey. This is the worst of the lot, with most of her body sunken into the bed and both hands deformed and horrible. Hence her expression. SDXL got that right! 

So I decided to try prompting SDXL with a request for an image in an artistic style rather than a photorealistic style. In this case I went with pulp novel cover art because I love that stuff. And this was the absolute worst of them. Once again, I just wanted a woman tied to a bed. Where SDXL got this, I have no idea, and I don't want to know, either. (To be fair, most of the images were much better than this. They just didn't include nudity or bondage. But very nice otherwise!)

The thing that gives AI art its particular horror when it strays off the reservation is that parts of the image look so human and real and then other parts get twisted in weird nonhuman ways but also, very realistically... and it's that realistic weirdness that does the trick.

And then there's the images where the AI art really seems to be getting the hang of it, until you notice the model has three legs, one of which ends in a hand... a beautifully rendered hand, mind you, and also with an extra handish thing growing out of her knee. And of course those wonky, wonky eyes.

And at the far end of the spectrum, you get this... the poor woman is just a fading greasy spot on the wall with meaningless iron bars around her. I mean, it could be a woman, but the only part the AI got right was the leg. And it didn't get the leg all THAT right, just looks better than the brown blobs that constitute the rest of the figure.

A lot of my work is image to image work, where you give the AI software a guiding image for it to work from, often in conjunction with a prompt. At left you see my guiding image, a vidcap of a Second Life avatar. At center you see the result I got from Civitai using a simple prompt, "A beautiful woman kneels." As you can see, the Second Life avatar is infinitely better than the "improved" AI version. But on the right you see the version that Leonardo came up with. Images like that are the reason I like working with AI. 

But you know, as I put this post together the Civitai version of the kneeling SL cutie kept reminding me of something. And I soon remembered what it was: It was the botched restoration of the famous historical masterpiece painting of Christ, "Ecce Homo." (I thought it was Italian for "no homo" but it actually means "Behold the Man" which makes more sense.) The flattened colors and the cruder artwork are both there in the botched version of Ecce Homo and in the botched AI version of the SL avatar. But what really nails it is the warped lips, the simplified eyes, the absolutely crude eyebrows. It's truly an eerie echo, and yet at the same time, it's a truly inspiring example of the way both artificial intelligence and natural stupidity can bring us all together to say, "Eew!"

One Simple Trick!

It's standard advice for screenwriters everywhere: "Show don't tell!" Yet Rom-com screenwriters just can't manage to follow it when it comes to meet cutes. The heroine just can't bring herself to tell the hero that she's attracted to him and he's far too stupid to catch her more subtle signs. But just by stripping off her clothes and adopting this simple pose, she'll be able to let the hero, no matter how stupid and obtuse they are (and most of them are really stupid and obtuse) that she is open to his advances at a very basic and fundamental level. The heroine doesn't have to speak her feelings, she can let her body do the talking. Yet you never see this in rom-coms anywhere. Baffling!

Image source: Taissia Shanti in "Special Yoga With Sister Taissia" on VirtualTaboo.com. (For those wondering, this position is called the 'viennese oyster.')

Top Ten Signs You've Been Roofied...

Number One: You wake up on your barstool like this!

Image source: This pic is about ten years old and EVERYONE has been using it and NO ONE has provided attribution. There are names in various posts for the woman tied to the chair but they vary a lot. Sing out in the comments if you have any idea...

Fresh Catch!

Once you've caught the slavegirl, getting the hook out can be the hardest part.

Image source: Kink.com shoot 34116, "True Bondage Whore Takes the Pain" starring Princess Donna Delores (unhooking) and Wenona (being unhooked) and Tommy Pistol (doing God knows what to Wenona from the other side).

Be careful what you wish for...

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Ah, The Fifties...

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Promo Ads for the Prison Bitch Trilogy: Civitai AI Art for the win!

 Some of my fave promo ads dring the Smashwords Summer Sale in July:

     Love the totally fucked-out expression on the woman's face. You can almost hear her gasping  for air in the aftermath of orgasm. So I went with it in my headline. 

Nice bondage/maledom/femsub image. I decided that my caption should work with one of the subconscious appeals for subs.

The caption really made this one for me. Hopefully would attract sub readers.

One of the most wholesome, if not the most wholesome, images in my campaign. But the text, whole different story. "Polish your pearl on a beautiful summer day" is probably just a little on the nose for some people, but I never got a bit of pushback on it. Works for me!

This promo, however, got me banned from Facebook for a month. I thought it was safe, but if you look real close at the woman's crotch (and clearly, someone did) you can see what appears to be the outer edges of her outer labia outside the chastity belt she wears. I didn't look that closely before I posted. My mistake. I had figured a chastity belt would cover up all the pussy, but I forgot that AI art does not necessarily follow the rules of human anatomy strictly. And believe me, I have many NSFL images that demonstrate that all too grossly. My mistake.

Civitai allowed me to create some really beautiful AI imagery along with all the abominations. It really made the promos work!

And that's the end of the show for today.

Bangkok Is Not Just A City In Thailand

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Smoker: The Hallucigenia of Early Porn Films

Poor Angie. Kidnapped, tied up and raped, and a lot more of that in store for her in the film.

Vidcap from Smoker (1983).

I don’t really know a LOT about porn from the 1970s and early 1980s, but I do know one thing about them: some of them were weird, deeply weird, in all sorts of unexpected and sometimes wonderful ways. Just like the animals of the Cambrian explosion.

And Smoker is just such a film. It has a plot, and dialogue. A ridiculous plot and some pretty good dialogue that led to one unexpected great scene in the film that almost every reviewer missed.

OK, here’s the ridiculous plot: The parts needed to build a device that can blow up the world (yes, the entire world) have been implanted in a bunch of working vibrators and sold to innocent customers. The bad guys, are led by Sharon Mitchell (who can actually act) as Madame Suque. Suquie is after the world-ending vibrators so her two henchmen (Ron Jeremy and Eric Edwards) are running around kidnapping the women who have unwittingly bought the vibrators and tying them up and fucking them to get the locations of said vibrators out of them.

Well I SAID the plot was ridiculous.

One of the women captured is Angie, played by Troye Lane. Troye is an unhappy captive, her expression and attitude expressing mostly indifference and dull anger which is carried on throughout her big sex scene, which is an amazing scene, actually. It’s the reason I decided to write this review. Here’s a vidcap of the scene:

Poor Angie. Naked, tied up, and sucking on Ron Jeremy's cock while Eric Edwards fucks her pussy and Sharon Mitchell soliloquizes. 

The reason the scene is so good is that as Madam Suque’s henchmen are raping Angie head and tail at the same time, Madam Suque delivers a strange little soliloquy. To wit:

Lady Suque: In the end it is good not to care at all. But I can't help it, I get caught up in caring.

Henchman: What do you care about, boss?

Lady Suque: I care about power. I want my power to run though myself alone. I can't wield my power effectively through others. It's limited to me, my own control over my own actions. I find myself powerless. I can hate as much as I want, or want something as much as I like, but all this humanity gets in the way. You know, I actually feel completely and effectively trapped.

Angie: Mmmph!

Lady Suque: Poor dear. You feel the same way, too, don't you??

Actually, there’s more, but that sets the tone for you. And while it’s not the greatest soliloquy since Shakespeare, it’s so far ahead of most porn movie dialogue it might as well be. What makes it especially effective is poor hapless Angie hanging in the ropes and being fucked in the mouth and pussy and being unable to move. Mitchell plays her role as almost a comic book villian, speaking almost all of her lines archly. Think kinky Cruella DeVille. It works strangely well for the soliloquy, her archness contrasting sharply with Angie’s stubborn anger despite her helplessness.

I’ll put a link down below so you can watch Smoker on your own and decide for yourself if I’m right about the scene. The soliloquy starts at the twenty minute mark, though there is a lot of sexual bondage with Angie prior to it, and some more nice dialogue from Sharon.

The writing and directing credits are given to Veronika Rocket, a female director in the early days of porn. I don’t know if the scene was a happy accident or an intentional success. I would like to think it was an intentional success, and given how powerful it turned out to be, I hope it was. But many scenes argue otherwise.

However, Veronika Rocket knew EXACTLY what she was doing when she wrote that soliloquy, and I suspect she knew what she was doing when she directed that scene with Angie suffering helplessly as Madame Suque spoke.

Here’sthe URL for Smoker 1983 on the PornOne website. The action starts exactly twenty minutes in.

However, the rest of the movie has flaws, serious flaws, even by porn standards. The worst flaw is that much of the movie is seriously underlit. Some of the scenes are almost entirely dark. The worst example is an earlier scene in Angie’s bondage rape, where she’s tied standing up in the doorframe and is being DPed by Jeremy and Edwards. Early on they shift the camera POV to on the floor looking up from between everyone’s legs so everyone can get a good view of Tabs A and B going into and out of Slots C and D. The lighting is so bad that many of the frames are pitch dark, many other are just pink blobs in the darkness. I don’t think there is a single scene where you can see both cocks going in and out of both holes. One or the other is always in shadow.

The best lit vidcap I could get of this scene. I didn't make any vidcaps of the worst lit scenes because you can get the same effect by imagining a black square. I kid you not.

If there were a video on how not to shoot a DP scene, this movie’s scene would DEFINITELY serve as an example.

There are other issues, too, but let’s talk now about Hallucigenia. Hallucigenia is an animal found in the Burgess Shales that dates back to the Cambrian explosion. Here’s an artist’s reconstruction of it:

Hallucigenia. What a hopeful little monster. Very well named little fella!

Image source: From this Youtube video.

You have to admit, it’s one of the weirdest things to ever crawl on the ocean bottom and suck mud, and that’s saying something in a world where creatures like this exist:

Image source: I found this image on Youtube somewhere a long time ago, and I couldn't leave it behind.

The Cambrian explosion ran from 541 to 485 BCE, and was characterized by a huge burst of evolutionary diversity, as all of the major kinds of animals that now exist evolved. And in the process, many species that are absolutely weird evolved, as there were a lot of new ecological niches to exploit with no competition yet. Hence, Hallucigenia and quite a few other animals that make even paleontologists go, “Bwuh?” The sharp evolutionary competition that allows only the most efficient animals to survive did not yet exist.

And I think Hallucigenia is linked to Smoker in that Smoker also came into a time when porn had made a leap to a new cultural niche. The home videotape machine brought porn into every household. Every guy who wanted to watch porn could do so, easily, with the purchase of a VCR and a videotape. Or later, the rental of a videotape. Porn suddenly had a huge new market to exploit, and no one was sure what form of porn would work best for that market.

That’s why we had a lot of porn films that were kind of like real movies. That had plots and dialogue over and above, “Wanna fuck?” Yeah!” boomchickawowow.

And I think Smoker was one such film, if only in the mind of Veronika Rocket. It never caught on, but it had something to it. What if that dialogue had been noticed, and emulated in BDSM videos? Could have been a whole different world.

Thanks For A Great Smashwords Summer Sale!

Thanks for a great Smashwords Summer Sale. I am not at liberty to reveal how much I made, but I CAN reveal that my goldfish are going to be eating like goldfish kings! Yeah, THAT kinda money! Also, "Rich Bitch, Prison Bitch" is now perma-free! Enjoy!

Five Is A Crowd, A Throbbing Crowd

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Shakespeare Strikes Again!

She had bought the beam that was now tied to her shoulders and named it "petard" just so she could be hoist with her own petard.

Image source: Kink.com shoot 28929, "The Training of the Pretty Girl, Day One" starring Casey Calvert.

Counter Sale

Being sold as a countertop item in a tiny convenience store SEEMED exciting and kinky, but she had a counterintuitive feeling she might get a yeast infection from the counter culture, because it was so counter-productive. But she did it anyway, because it made good cover for her, for she was a counterspy.

Image source: It's Karmen Karma from the Kink.com video 30756 "My Girl Lollipop" also starring Mark Davis and The Guys.

Best Game Evah!

 Slavegirl games are the best games ever, because they're naked fun and the stakes are low. So very low...

Image source: kink.com shoot 3228 "Adrianna Nicole, Annie Cruz, Sandra Romain, Kat, Lee Stone and Matt Davis" starring (you guessed it!) Adrianna Nicole, Annie Cruz, Sandra Romain, Kat, Lee Stone and Matt Davis. Pictured, left to right are Kat, Adrianna Nicole and Annie Cruz.

The Gor Novels' Real Base Is And Was Horny, Unsatisfied Romance Readers

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The Slavegirl Way

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Darth Vader: Worse Than You Knew!

"Oh my god, he's sniffing my leash! What a PERV!"

Image source: Maitland Ward in her oh-so-nice Princess Leia garb and a Darth Vader cosplayer having some fun at a science fiction convention. If anyone knows who took this, please leave a comment.

In Her Best Position in Life

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Wonder Woman In Trouble

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Roadside Picnic

She was just a roadside snack, and the hell of it was, the boiled peanuts were more popular!

Image Source: kink.com shoot 15174, "The Dig" starring Rain DeGray, Iona Grace and Cherry Torn. I believe the roadside snack slavegirl seen here is played by Cherry Torn.

A Natural Slavegirl

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You're in for it now!

"Now you've done it... you've made her horny! Very, very horny!"

 

Image source: Chloe Toy from "Use The Grass, Girlie" a video on pornworld.com.

Was there nothing these fiends would stop at?

Perhaps the least-feared element of sex slave training was Comfy Chair Sex Bondage Training!

Image source: Kink.com shoot 10543, "Training of O: Madeleine Mei" starring Madeleine Mei and Wolf Hudson.

There's A Perfect Couch for JD Vance And Midori Has It!

This is a couch created by an artist whose name I was unable to discover. (Was hoping to find them and discover they went only by their initial, which are JDV. No dice.) The image was posted to Midori's Twitter feed by Liz Highleyman, who is a medical editor and health journalist, serving as an editor for Cancer News. I'm assuming she does sexual health journalism as well, which is her connection to Midori but I don't know that for a fact. (Midori, for those who don't know is a bondage expert and sex educator who specializes in shibari bondage.) I'm assuming Midori had or has the couch but I really don't know.

Post-Prandial Bondage

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