Saturday, June 14, 2008

When Female Orgasms Go Nuclear

Mimi Megayaya just moments after The Event.

It had to happen eventually. Female orgasms, as portrayed in porn, have been becoming more and more powerful over the years. First it was just loud cries and writhing, then screaming and thrashing, then squirting, then small explosions like you get with fireworks, and finally, the event pictured above.

On November 10, 2007, pornstar Mimi Megayaya of Japan had a very small nuclear orgasm, destroying much of the building she was filming in at the time, and blowing her outside into the parking lot where her bondage gear (apparently essential to really powerful female orgasms) lodged in a tree limb, leaving her swinging gently in the wind and feeling surprisingly relaxed and satisfied.

When images of the devastation appeared online, the crack researchers who make sure that porn scripts are accurate and make sense of some kind used their incredible Google-fu and information database hacking powers to make a discovery that convinced the porn industry that ever more powerful female orgasms are just too dangerous to continue working on.

The discovery: the Soviet Union once had a secret crash program devoted to studying female orgasms as a potential weapons system. The site of that research: a little place out in Siberia called Tunguska.

No comments: