A Normal Woman

A normal woman would probably also notice that she was bound and gagged.

Image from the Justice League of America comic book series, I think.

Overly Helpful

“I just HAD to tell him an over the mouth gag wouldn’t silence me without packing!”

Image courtesy of some European TV series or film entitled La Vacances de Lamour. It means the available hotel rooms of love, I think.

It Beats Getting Ink All Over Your Face

“There’s GOT to be an easier way to get a set of lip prints!”

Image courtesy of of some European TV series or other.

Not Yet A Tradition

“I don‘t remember this part of the Japanese tea ceremony.”

Of course, if the people who make hentai had any say in the matter, it WOULD be a part of the tea ceremony. Only the damsel would be naked. And with a vibrator taped inside her.

Image from the late, great fantasy series, Special Unit 2.

Kinky Peelings

“All right, I admit it -- peeling potatoes CAN be kinky … Can I stop now? All of them?" (Sighs.) "I had a feeling that would be the answer.”

Hide the Nipple

“Now, which nipple is under my hand?”

This image is exactly what it looks like: a free public breast cancer screening for exhibitionist submissives. Proceeds went to the Institute for Sexy Stuff.

This is the other image of a woman’s vagina that I didn’t want to blot out. The sight of her pussy lips really crank up the “exhibitionist’ and “submissive” elements .

Rethinking Pussy

I’m changing my policy on blotting out images of women’s vaginas in my blog, mainly because a couple of recent posts would have been a lot more powerful if they had had the original image in place, rather than having the vagina blotted out … and I’ve got an upcoming one that is the same.

Specifically “Hard to Reach Spots” is more powerful with the woman’s actual hard to reach spots showing, as in the original, making the point of the joke more powerful graphically. In addition, “Gland Opening” is a LOT more powerful if the actual “Gland Opening” is displayed, saying “Welcome Home” in extremely powerful terms.

Since my site is rated as “adult” anyway, I figure I might as well take full advantage of the opportunities it offers.


To that end, I have updated both images and made them as they should be.

I promise only to use images with the vagina showing where it affects the point of a joke, or contributes to it in some way. I won’t show them just to show them … unless of course I find an image of a really lovely one. Then all bets are off.

Accessorizing

“This is nice, but the Darth Vader costume really needs the big hat and the dark sunglasses as well.”


She felt relieved at first when they put the muzzle gag on her because it meant they were probably planning to only humiliate her by making her get on all fours and bark like a dog while wearing it. Then she saw them coming with the butt-plug tail.

Image from the film, "The Human Quality."

Just So You Know

You can't make this stuff up:

Gait May Be Associated With Orgasmic Ability.

Further comment would be superfluous.

Gland Opening

“This is going to be the best “Welcome Home” display ever!”

Image from the Internet somewhere.

Slavegirl Musings

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Top Five Signs You’ve Been Watching Movies And TV Shows For Their Bondage Content For Too Long

“Man, if this gag doesn‘t stay on this time, I‘m gonna shoot myself!”
5) You are male and you regularly TIVO soap operas and Lifetime Movie Channel presentations.
4) You are human and your number one most-watched cable channel is The SciFi Channel.
3) When a TV show listing includes the words “kidnapping’ or “hostage” you salivate.
2) You’ve never seen an episode of “Superman” but you can identify Noel Neill AND Phyllis Coates just seeing the top half of their faces.

And the number one sign you’ve been watching movies and TV shows for their bondage content too long is:
Every time you read or hear the words “Of Human Bondage” you grit your teeth, remembering how much that movie disappointed you.

Anti-Bellum

“OK, I’ll play the scene out, but I do NOT think they used nipple clamps on slaves in the pre-Civil War South!”

Image is from Dying God a run of the mill serial killer flick, except of course that nipple clamps are almost unknown in mainstream films.

Unstrapped

“Oh, man! They left off the one strap I really like!”

Image is from Emmanuelle and the Last Cannibals a film that got that title after all the OTHER cannibals turned down the chance to appear in it.

Christina Ricci On Display

“You want me to raise my arms even higher Master? Why?”

Gorean Positions:

Display
The slave rises, standing erect with legs a shoulder length apart, the back straight, head high with eyes lowered, raising the arms and bending them at the elbows, entwining the fingers behind the neck for inspection.

Notice that Christina Ricci is posed in the Gorean “display” position (see above) while chained and half naked in the promotional photo for the movie “Black Snake Moan.” Coincidence … or Conspiracy?

Banjo Pickin' Time!

EVERYBODY SING!!!!!!!

“No one’s in the kitchen with Dinah,
And she’s chained up wrist to toe!
No one’s in the kitchen with Dinah,
So she’s playing the old banjo!”

Image courtesy of JasmineSinclair.com.

Too Much Of A Good Thing ...

“I’ve heard of bukkake, but this is RIDICULOUS!”

Image is from something called “ctyrivrazdystacidrahouskup” another jumbled up name I can’t decipher.

Why Save Chuck

“You out there, come in slowly! I’m wearing only my sexy black underwear and I have a gun. YOU’D better have some ropes and a gag!”

Fans of the TV series “Chuck” are rallying to save the series from cancellation. Why should we care? Because hot blond series female lead Yvonne Strahovski keeps winding up in situations like the one pictured above. She even wore a Slave Leia outfit in one episode. We need her … and I guess Chuck as well.

Ultimate Gorean Bondage

She had endured all that Gorean bondage could bring, but now she wanted the most intense bondage of all: Al Gorean bondage!

Image is from a German film or TV show calledBeck-DieLetzteZeugin so that isn‘t really Al Gore menacing the gagged woman … or IS it?

Hippie Dippie Bondage

Him: “Well, lady, I had to smoke a ton of weed to get up the nerve to strip you and chain you up like that, but now you‘re, like, totally in my power. And you know what I‘m gonna do about that? I‘m gonna go, like, eat a box of Oreos and crash.”
Her: “You bastard!”

Image is from the 1981 film Bad Girls not to be confused with more recent films with that title.

No Longer Wonder-ing

“What do you mean, the girdles all wrong and Wonder Woman never went around in stockings or with her breasts hanging out like that? So what? You‘ve got me tied to the bed! This Wonder Woman is no longer Wonder-ing why guys like you never get laid!”

Image is from a foreign film but I’m not sure of the title because the words are all mashed together in the cutline. Here’s the title as I know it: gradiallombradellenzuolo. Good luck with that..

An Over The Mouth for A Cleaver

“Gosh, you look wonderful all bound and gagged like that, Mrs. Cleaver.”
“Why thank you Eddie. I believe Frank will find it quite a surprise.”
“Now I have a surprise for YOU, Mrs. Cleaver. Ever heard of a “butt plug”?”
“Mmmmph!”

Image is from the final season of “Leave It To Beaver” when the powers that be on the show tried desperately to avoid cancellation -- there was this unusually explicit bondage episode, which led Mrs. Cleaver to give birth to good and evil twins in a women's prison hospital after killing Eddie, which made the Beaver so upset that he developed an invisible friend that only he could hear and see, while Beaver’s dad turned out to be an alien from another planet! Ah, they don’t write them like that any more.

Bondage Help Line

“OK, so it’s FIRST the blowjob, THEN the tape gag. Well, that explains a lot. Thanks!”


Bondage Help Line -- don’t let bad bondage happen to you!

Image is of unknown provenance, I think a movie of some sort.

Bound and Blindfolded and Focusing

“And so we see that by taping up the rest of the face, the trainee is able to focus entirely on her nose, thus facilitating the use of the nose-wiggling muscles.”


Image is of unknown provenance, I’m betting a TV show of some kind.

Patients

“What are you here for?” “Chest cold. What are you here for? “Stomach pain.” “I guess this is what happens nowadays when you go to a doctor and you don‘t have health insurance.”

I’m not even sure this one is a joke.

Image from Bondagerotica advertiser TrainingofO.com.