Carrie Genzel Stars in "Caged Hearts"

Carrie Genzel in cuffs! What an innovation for a women in prison film.

Up and coming star Carrie Genzel stars in Caged Hearts, a topnotch women in prison movie that includes a nude catfight/lesbian rape scene for Ms. Genzel. Genzel can currently be seen in the Flash Gordon SciFi Channel series, and in Under One Roof and she plays Jackie Kennedy in the upcoming Watchmen movie.

Prison Overcrowding Solved

"Um, I have to go pee." "That's why the floor is grillwork, honey."

The cells at the Arnold Schwarzenegger Prison for Women had been designed to sleep two in very close quarters. Then as overcrowding in women's prisons, including Arnold Schwarzenegger Prison for Women, had continued, they put in bunk beds so the cells could sleep four in great discomfort.

It was when the staff begin duct-taping inmates to the ceiling so the cells could sleep six in incredible discomfort that inmate #5707 had cried, "Oh, why doncha put us in cages the size of our own bodies and be done with it, bitches?"

"Why that's a VERY good idea, 5707," the guard had replied. "I'll pass it on to the warden."

And thus the Individual Total Safety Sleep-Eez Cell was born. It came with a built-in brank so inmates wouldn't make too much noises when confined to their individual cells, possibly disturbing one another's sleep. (Some inmates complained that it was very hard to sleep standing up with a gag locked in your mouth, to which the response was, "What do you think we're running here, a luxury hotel?"

When a civil lawsuit was brought before the Supreme Court alleging that the Individual Total Safety Sleep-Eez Cell constituted cruel and unusual punishment, Judge Antonin Scalia wrote a decision saying, "What the hell, we're all Bush appointees, we're OK with torturing prisoners and, well, everyone for that matter."

And thus the problem of prison overcrowding in America was solved, since you could hang the Individual Total Safety Sleep-Eez Cell from almost anything.

Bad Girls Review - Some Say "No Soap" I Say "Soap"

A well-lit tape gag scene from "Bad Girls" -- of the ugliest gaurd in the place. Symptomatic, I'm afraid.

I started the "Women in Prison" section on my Bondagerotica.com site because of the startup of the US women in prison series Bad Girls so I thought I should review the British women in prison series Bad Girlsthat it's based on. And add some thoughts on how the US version can avoid fucking up like the Brits did. Because they did. I really do think the Americans will do better than the Brits did, if only because the US Bad Girls will be shown on a premium channel and hence nudity will be almost a requirement. Probably R-rated sex, too, because the HBO series is under a lot of pressue to push the envelope. Of course, I have some suggestions for exactly how they could do so. I'm doing a public service, really.

Extreme Bondage on the Lifetime Channel: "Against Their Wills"

This prison inmate is so horny that she's actually grinning in triumph as she grabs a little middle-aged spread butt booty! Man, that's desperate.
You know how I keep talking about Lifetime Channel women in prison movies in my reviews of sexploitation women in prison movies? Well, I went ahead and reviewed one. And it has a couple of really strict bondage scenes. I mean, strict as in can't move anything but your head. How about a straightjacket hogtie? How about a psycho-sheet strapdown? Puts anything in the sexploitation films I've reviewed to date to shame.

And the bondage is actually relevant to the plot -- it helps establish the helplessness and vulnerability of the inmates in the prison, and given that the movie is about prison rape, the bondage makes the point very powerfully.

There's also some analysis of how the superior characterization of Lifetime Channel movies makes the dominance and submission elements of the story more powerful.

You can check out the review by clicking here.

Caged Fury: Beyond Bogus

Warden Sybil Thorn of Honeywell State Prison for Women, in uniform and out of uniform. Inmates get to see Warden Thorn up close and personal in both conditions ... whether they want to or not.
I've reviewed another women in prison movie, and this one is full of nakedness and violence as Dirk the Human Wrecking Ball personally demolishes an evil prison facility. I'm not kidding, this guy is so tough that he and his buddy Victor (played by Erik Estrada) go around terrorizing motorcycle gangs. Again, I am not kidding. Dirk makes Rambo look wussy.

And then there's the evil lesbian warden Sybil Thorn seen above. Few prisons let their officials work in Gay Pride uniforms, but Honeywell does. And of course she treats the inmates as her own private harem.

The plot is driven by an evil scheme that so ridiculously piles bogusness on top of bogusness that you feel a sort of admiration for anyone who has come up with a plan this complex to obtain something that you can easily buy in L.A. for chump change (by the standards of the wealthy).

Plus, there's the ugliest pants ever.

Fun will be had by all. Check it out at this link.

Time Served Reviewed

Time Served, now with stripperific action.
I have on many occasions voiced the opinion that it would be a good idea to combine the emotional intensity of Lifetime women in prison flicks with the sexual intensity of sexploitation flicks. Well, damned if the people who made Time Served haven't done a halfway decent job of doing so. It starts out with a grieving mother forced into prison when she covers up a murder committed by her son, and it winds up with stripperific action. Unfortuately, they left out ALL the bondage imagery and most of the dominance and submission imagery, but hey, it's a step in the right direction.

Chain Gang Girls: What Hath We Wrought?

A female chain gang on the march. Looks a lot like a male chain gang on the march, from a distance. And, sadly, close up, too. Hot models rarely wind up on chain gangs, apparently. But hot prostitutes sometimes do.

Normally, holiday weekends are great weekends for picking up the odd mainstream bondage scene because all the cable stations do marathons, which means that movies and TV show episodes that don't normally air get shown because they happen to fit the marathon's theme.

But the marathons that ran this 4th of July just sucked from a mainstream bondage scene point of view. SciFi Channel did an original Twilight Zone marathon (hopeless). AMC was doing some kind of sucky song and dance marathon. Bondage stalwart Lifetime Movie Channel did a Christmas in July marathon and bondage stalwart Oxygen Channel did a bridezilla marathon.

Yes, suckity suck suck suck. Which is how I wound up taping a 6-hour block of real life Women Behind Bars shows on the Women's Entertainment channel. I don't ordinarily cover reality TV, but it was all there was.

Mostly this was a loss, too. Four hours of it was recounting how women did terrible things and went to jail for it. There was very little about how they survived in jail, even though they were pretty much all lifers or on death row, so they had plenty of surviving to do, and some had clearly DONE plenty of surviving, as their crimes had been committed in their 20s and they were WAAAAY past 20.

However, there WAS a 2-hour special called "Chain Gang Girls" that had a lot of images of women chained together by the ankles (duh!). It seems that in Arizona, sheriff and hateful little toad Joe Arpaio has been the first in the nation to create all-female chain gangs.

The show focused on the chaining up and the marching about of the chained women with an obsessiveness not seen in mainstream media since the Gor novels were shelved with the rest of the sword and sandal stuff. They were repeatedly shown chained up with loving descriptions of every aspect of the chains and the marching in chains, along with many, many humiliations and invasion of privacy that amounted to forced submission that are part of the program. (It should be pointed out, this is a voluntary program.)

The voiceover and the guards kept talking about the chain gang as a team-building and confidence-building enterprise, but the only thing I saw that the inmates were being taught was to do whatever the big lesbian guards said to do, without question or hesitation.

Unfortunately, the imagery itself was less than overwhelming because the women were wearing big, ugly work boots and they themselves were average looking at best. OK, there was one inmate who was good looking, and she was in for a six-month stay on a prostitution charge (surprise, surprise).


Work boots. All wrong. Would it have killed them to make the inmates wear fuck-me pumps? Or go barefoot? Well, it probably would have maimed them, come to think of it, considering they do manual labor six hours a day in 110-degree Arizona heat.

Which brings us to the point of today's post. The woman's prostitution rap was not the only minor, no-victims charge that was represented on the chain gang, in fact, it was the norm. Most of the women there were there for minor drug raps, a couple for minor theft raps, no sentences that were mentioned (and they always mentioned the crime and sentence when they focused on an inmate) were over six months long.

What the FUCK are we doing putting women on chain gangs for shit like this? Why are they in jail at all? The druggies need rehab and most of the thieves were obviously dirt poor. The prostitute -- what the hell did SHE do that was so wrong? Hell, anyone who looks at naked pictures of women on the Web are in NO position to criticize her morally, but I know there are a lot of guys who suck up porn like so many lizards who'd have no problem calling her a whore and saying she gets what she deserves.

Well, if that's so, there's a lot of guys out there who AREN'T getting what they deserve, and if they DID get what they deserve, they'd change their tune about the prostitute in short order.

What the fuck kind of nation are we, that we did shit like this, for so little reason? Are we a nation of assholes or what? I know lawnorder politics is popular, but hell, do we HAVE to be retarded about how we handle lawbreakers? Druggies are sometimes pathetic people who have no control over their lives, but what the hell good does locking them up and then releasing them, untreated, do for them? Or us? They're just going to go back to their old ways.

The way we handle issues like drug addiction, victimless crimes and poverty are just freaking retarded. We have the highest number of people incarcerated per capita in the freaking WORLD. It's not because we have more criminals. It's because we're handling our criminal justice system like it's a freaking magic wand that will cure every social ill.

We as a nation really have to stop being retarded about this, and so many other things.

Chained Heat Reviewed

Cuffs in the credits ... that's the way to do a women in prison movie!

Over on Bondagerotica this week we have a review of the classic women in prison movie, Chained Heat. A lot of movies have copied this one, and done better in many respects to tell the truth. But none have had a smokin' hot Sybil Danning domming the daylights out of a luscious young Linda Blair. Check out the review here.

Under Lock and Key Reviewed

Well, I'd say SOMEONE has the drop on SOMEONE in this women in prison flick ... but things are not what they seem ... which is unusual, in a women in prison flick.

Over on Bondagerotica I have a review of the film Under Lock and Key, a weird little women in prison flick that's half Skinamax fleshfest and half cops'n'robbers flick. What's REALLY weird about the flick is that the two halves of the film are not mixed together, there's a dividing line as obvious as a zipper between them. But the film stands high among women in prison flicks simply because it introduces an incredibly useful concept to the genre: prisoners who hang around in their open-barred, privacy-free cells naked, not because the guards won't give 'em clothes, but because they WANT to. Does this concept make any real-world sense? Of course not. Does it make dramatic sense? Oh YEAH, BABY!!!

More Women In Prison Stuff

My site is updated with a review of the women-in-prison themed commercial bondage video Prison World and my women in prison themed short story Doin' Time In The Blue Shadows. Perhaps you've been wondering if I can walk the walk as well as talk the talk where women in prison stories are concerned. Here's your chance to judge for yourself.

I'll probably be expanding on this post later.

Bad Girls and Cherry Hill: A Thrill and a Pill

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

2009: Year of the Women in Prison Series

Director Robert Rodriguez (Planet Terror, Sin City, Spy Kids, Once Upon A Time in Mexico) is proposing plans for a women in prison TV series that will have bondage and lesbianism as major themes, and will star his fiancee Rose McGowan. This is incredibly good news: a topnotch director is producing just the sort of stuff we like and is PROMOTING its bondage aspects.
To help Mr. Rodriguez do it right, I have published a review of Caged Heat 3000 and a description of how to produce the perfect women in prison movie. Now he will have no choice but to do a good job (in the incredibly unlikely event he visits my site).

Click here to read the review. And the essay.

In other absolutely great news, HBO is planning a Women in Prison series based on the British women in prison series "Bad Girls" (which is about the only mainstream women in prison anything to feature a bit gag) with hotshot writer/director Alan Ball at the helm (Six Feet Under, American Beauty). Great. Now I have to do something else: put every frickin' thing I've written on Women in Prison on my site. So I will. Because these people need my help, judging from what's out there in terms of mainstream women in prison films, which may well be the weakest, least well realized genre of films in existence. I mean, Caged Heat, FRICKING Caged Heat is its avatar, the film that all the others are based on. And it sucks big time!

It would be great if somebody finally got it right.