"This sheet is nice, but do you have something in a medium red? It would contrast so nicely with this altar I'm about to be sacrificed on."
Didn't like that caption for this vidcap from the horror film "Waxwork II: Lost in Time" as damsel Shanna Teare is chained to an altar, ready to get a little pussy? Try one of these:
"Hey, if it weren't for this sheet, I'd be doing porn! Cool!"
"Now I will place a full set of dinner dishes laden with food atop this damsel, and then remove the sheet without disturbing any of the dishes enough to make them spill their food. But the damsel likely WILL be disturbed, as she is naked under that sheet."
"In our continuing Olympics cverage, NBC brings you our latest innovation -- the Crotch Cam! We got the idea from the Internets!"
"I'm going to my DiD Local to lodge a complaint against these villains. I believe DiDs are entitled to be sacrificed naked!"
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