Water Break For Justine Joli

Just another day on the set of 50 Shades of Gray. Image source: Behind Kink.
Ok, wer'e kidding here. That's Felicia Day celebrity clone and geek girl hottie Justine Joli in a behind the scenes shot of the Kink.com site "Behind Kink." Miss Jolie is getting a water break in the midst of a grueling dildo bondage scene for one of Kink's sites, probably Hogtied.com. It's a surprisingly hot image, Jolie so naked, helpless and bound, having to have the water glass raised to her lips while she drinks, the dildo still invading her pussy.

The Behind Kink site gives you images and videos of what goes into the making of Kink.com's various adult videos. Even though I liked this particular photo, I'm not sure what the attraction is here, maybe it's the porn industry's equivalent of the glamor profiles they used to do of movie stars or the promos of of movies they did in the old Hollywood studio days. Except of course, visitors pay specifically to see this content. Well, I guess I can chalk it up to the vagaries of Rule 34.

A Job Skill I Did Not Even Know I Had

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Strippers versus Werewolves and Bondage Prison

"What does a girl have to do to get into a place like this?" Image source: Sex and Submission.
The folks in Toronto REALLY know how to do double feature. According to the Blogto blog, a local cinema is running a Fright Night double feature that includes "Strippers vs. Werewolves" and "Bondage Prison." Sounds like a night of good, cheesy fun! Now is there any bondage, much less sexual bondage, to be seen in the film "Bondage Prison?" My every last instinct says "No." I've watched quite a few women in prison films hoping for bondage, and with a few notable exceptions, it's all lesbianism, catfights shower scenes, body cavity inspections and forced prostitution/stripping, with precious little in the way of bondage.

What's more, my experience of exploitation films titles in general is that if the title advertises a particular fantasy, you'll find precious little of it in the film. (See my piece on the general lack of busty actresses in the films "Busty Actresses" and "Busty Models.") So "Bondage Prison" has two strikes against it.

Still, it's the only women in prison flick to ever MENTION bondage outside of porn, so ... could be some there. I dunno. One can only hope. And in the meantime, "Strippers versus Werewolves" scores on the title ALONE. And it might even have strippers and werewolves in it.

Anastasia Steele: Woman of the Year?

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Fifty Shades of Grey: Suitable for Television Only?

When's the last time you ever saw this in a mainstream movie? Never? Thought so! Image source: Hogtied.com.
Another heartening sign that the people are smarter than the media comes from an article on booksnreview.com, which asks the question, "'Fifty Shades of Grey' Movie: Too Kinky for Film? Fans Rather See Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey on TV Show, HBO Series'.

Hell, yeah! Sometimes you see indie movies that do sexually challenging stuff right, but mainstream movie makers almost never get it right. They always tone the sexy way down. With 50 million in sales, the book clearly has huge potential to be either a monster movie a la "Gone with the Wind" or a franchise a la Star Wars. The studio heads are going to be so hot to protect their monster movie's profit potential that they are going to absolutely avoid doing anything too risky.

Remember the hash they made of "9 1/2 Weeks"? Of "Exit to Eden?" The only reason they didn't fuck up "Story of O" is that it was done by the French. So the odds on a good movie version of Fifty Shades? Low, man, way fucking low.

TV cable channels like HBO and Spartacus, however ... different story. They have got some kickass writers and producers who have proven that they know how to handle the raunchy. Game of Thrones and Spartacus are some of the hottest mainstream sexual imagery going right now, combined with topnotch dramatic stories. This would be the best shot Fifty Shades has at a good film adaptation, but it's not happening. Going to be a freaking movie. And almost certainly, a fucking failure.

We shall see.


Vidcap from an episode of the Starz cable channel series "Spartacus: Vengeance." Yep, the Starz people could flat-out HANDLE the raunch in Fifty Shades of Gray.

Fifty Shades of the Big 12

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Guido Crepax: Getting Mainstreamed

A panel from Guido Crepax's graphic novel version of The Story of O. Image source: Flavorwire. You can get The Story of O and other Crepax works on Amazon, but they are freaking expensive. I have seen some listed as low as $20 but I would say, "buyer beware."

The flying monkeys, bless their leathery little hearts, brought in an interesting article on Guido Crepax. The article itself is a worth a read but the part I found most interesting was where the flying monkeys found it: the Comics Alliance website.

The Comics Alliance website deals with comics of all sorts, but it gives a lot of attention to DC and Marvel comics, in addition to webcomics, and also has no problem with dealing with adult comics like Crepax's work. Batman and Superman are commonplace topics, but Fetishman has shown up as well. And Guido Crepax.

Now if you'll read the article you will find many references to Crepax's powerful visual style, etc., the way he was one of the first to really use page frames in a different and unique way to tell his story. And that's true. But his title is "Bianca Fails As Bondage Porn" which admits that much of the appeal of Crepax's work is its bondage element. And he's right about the power of Crepax's work. But only partly. And he's wrong about Bianca failing as porn.

You can see why in the panel from Crepax's Story of O that leads off this article. Crepax absolutely minimized the text in his stories, a good thing for us English readers because he is French and his characters' text speech is French. In this particular panel there's no actual speech, just muffled groans and screams, as all of his characters are gagged.

Speech is also not very necessary because the characters in his stories barely relate to each other, their eyes are out of focus in some middle ground almost always, even as they speak to one another. They all appear to be engaged in internal reveries, even when they're talking to each other. Which they don't do all that often.

The thing is, you can see Crepax's talent in that Story of O panel ... the images are raunchy and yet filled with erotic tension. Look at the hands on the woman being branded, even if he did not include text to show she is screaming, you would know how she is responding to being branded. And the way the woman's lips twist around the gag. And the way the other woman's eyes are so intense over her panel gag. And the way the weight of the woman's butt sags against the tight leather straps that hold the dildo plug in her ass. All done with just pen and ink.

Being forced to stick to the narrative structure of The Story of O helps overcome Crepax's great weakness as a storyteller. His skill as an artist and visual storyteller is like having a powerful sports care capable of moving at great speed, turning on a dime and braking to a halt in a second ... but as a storyteller, he drives that sports car like it's a clown car. He's all over the place. The guys has a weakness for dream imagery, which DOES give him freedom to use his powerful abilities as an artist, but the narrative splinters and fractures and you're left with a story that is no story, just a succession of images. Which is kinda what "Bianca" looks like.

And on a personal level, I find his style of drawing faces kinda repulsive at times. Take the face in the upper left of the Story of O panel. I THINK what Crepax was going for was a French fashion model look with wispy fine hair and a delicate face. But what I get from it is an older woman with sunken eyes, sunken cheeks, very tired, and just not that interested in the proceedings. Not erotic at a all.

Furthermore, the "lion tamer" frames in Bianca ... as a guy who likes bondage imagery ... they work JUST FINE as bondage porn, thankyewverymuch.

And the great thing here is, I can have this discussion about Crepax's work based on an article on a mainstream site and have it be about Crepax's style and technique as a storyteller and artist and not have it be only about the BONDAGE BONDAGE BONDAGE BONDAGE just because a lot of his work contains bondage imagery. Bondage may well be mainstreaming, and that's a good thing. Being able to talk reasonably about things instead of being overcome by the sex fear hysteria common among social conservatives (see this post for some great examples) will make us all mentally healthier.


The Kink.com group has a site called The Training of O that has some very nice bondage imagery too. Quite possibly inspired by the Story of O. By the way, that's Ksenia Solo clone Ashphyxia Noir hanging in those ropes and getting her brains trained out.

Apologies For A Big Swinging Dick

I apologize for all the dick-waggling going on in the Black Label ad at the top of the page. At the same time, I have to point out, it's hilarious. Apparently there's a simple tip, a bit of advice, that will add inches to your dick, and they'll tell you if you just click on the link. Who knew? Reminds me of one of my get rich quick schemes: run an ad saying: "Teach your gagged slaves to stop drooling -- one dollar!" Then when they respond, I mail them my advice: "Teach 'em to spit!"

Slave Girl Birthday Cake

Guess which slave girl is the birthday girl? Image source: Public Disgrace.com.
Slave girls gets to wear their cake, and eat it too! Off each other's butts, but hey, that's slavegirling for ya!

Marie Claire: Mainstream Media Continues to Just Not Get Fifty Shades

"Well this is public, but I'm not sure it's revolutionary." Image source: Public Disgrace.com
The Autralian edition of Marie Claire Magazine's website is asking, "Has Kinky Gone Mainstream?" referring of course to the way 50 Shades of Gray has steamrollered its way into public consciousness via selling 50 million copies.

They ask in that lame, timid way that mainstream magazine articles typically do, "Has kink become mainstream?" Then they refer to a few experts, quote a few random people they know, and go on to draw some safe-sounding conclusions about not following the crowd and doing kinky stuff just because that's what's fashionable, and instead exploring what YOU want to do (or not do) is the key to have a fulfilling sex life. The painfully obvious disguised as wisdom.

And when they are not engaging in a festival of "Duh!" they are getting it wrong:

But is this anything new? “Nobody is reinventing anything. It’s all been done but differently,” says Dr Morrissey. “Think the Marquis de Sade’s The 120 Days Of Sodom written in 1785, Pauline Réage’s Story Of O in 1954, right through to Nancy’s Friday’s My Secret Garden: Women’s Sexual Fantasies in 1973. What’s revolutionary is the fact that it’s so public.

No, that's not what's so revolutionary about 50 Shades. It's the fact that it's MOMMY porn, not Daddy porn. It's a demographic that has never been associated with porn of any kind, and now they're going for kinky sex. THAT'S revolutionary! If GUYS had taken up some porny book big-time, if them mainstream even noticed, they would dislike it, thinking "Horny guys getting kinky, can't be a good thing."

But since it's mommies it IS revolutionary, which is why Marie Claire have no idea how to respond to it, and really don't "get" it. Really revolutionary stuff has a way of being hard to figure out.

Carla Gugino to Get Kinky on The New Girl: They Do It All Wrong, Of Course

A tasty example of maledom-femsub sex from Sex and Submission. Not shown: femdom/malesub sex. Why: because I don't think my readers want to see it.
The flying monkeys brought in a little semi-non 50 Shades of Gray news this week, a post on the Cinema Blend website that announced in breathless tones that Carla Gugino will get kinky in season two of a television series called The New Girl.

Well I had to check that out because Carla Gugino is an actress who will do a risky scene, she did the lesbian rape scene with probable panty gag in Jaded, after all, one of only two scenes in the history of television with probable panty gags. Link to a vidcap from the scene showing the gag. (They're "probably" panty gags because they look like panties stuck in the women's mouths and in the Gugino scene, there wasn't a lot else out there on the beach to gag her with but her panties. It would be a certain panty gag if the whole scene had not been shot in extreme chairobscuro).

Reading the post, Gugino will play an executive that forces a subordinate to sign a contact that will "bind his body and his will" to her. The article describes this as "going all 50 Shades on him."

No. No, no and no. Two major problems here. One, doesn't sound very consensual -- sounds like straight-up abuse of power, whereas 50 Shades was all about the consensual -- and two, the genders are all wrong. The women who enjoyed 50 Shades enjoyed a fantasy about a woman submitting sexually to a man, not a fantasy about a man submitting sexually to a woman.

Let me be very clear here: there are women who enjoy fantasies of dominating men, and there are men who enjoy fantasies of being dominated by women, and that's fine. They are as entitled to their fantasies as anybody else is. I'm not entertaining any notions that maledom/femsub is the order of nature or other such bullcrap. It's all good.

But I am saying that the vast majority of 50 Shades readers like maledom/femsub themes, after all, that's what 50 Shades is, and they also don't care for femdom/malesub themes. After all, the popularity of 50 Shades sprang straight from romance readers ready for some hotter action. And while there are thousands and thousands of romance novels about bold pirates capturing spirited wenches and finding love instead of a quick roll in the captain's lounge, there a very, very few romance novels about bold pirate wenches capturing spirited young studs and finding love, etc.

That's because the romance readership doesn't like them. Romance novels, except for that explicit sex thing, have always slavishly followed their readers' tastes, which is why they are now by far the top selling variety of adult fiction. And their failure to get it on with the explicit maledom/femsub kink is why they have lost so many readers to erotic romance ebooks like Karg. (And, well, OK, 50 Shades as well. It has outsold Karg by ... a lot. I'm not at liberty to divulge numbers here, as it would be too embarrassing for the publishing industry, by which of course I mean "me." Not that any other ebook writers' numbers look that good next to 50 Shades.)

Now there is no reason for The New Girl not to chase after the relatively small demographic of women who like femdom/malesub kink, it's their show, they can do as they like.

But my suspicion is that they are introducing this "50 Shades" theme to attract more viewers (television is a numbers game after all) and if THAT'S their goal, they're doing it all wrong. They need to go after the big demographic that likes maledom/femsub themes if they want numbers.

I suspect the reason that they are doing it wrong is that they haven't caught up with the paradigm shift that 50 Shades represents. Most mainstream TV and movie producers will reflexively prefer a femdom/malesub theme over a maledom/femsub themes because they fear offending feminists, and women who are pro-feminism. And they think they can get away with it in terms of attracting viewers because they think anyone who likes anything kinky will like anything described as kinky. If you like bondage, you like nuns and schoolgirls and whipped cream and dwarves and, well, anything. Which is world-class dumb of them, but hey, there's a reason network television is hemorrhaging viewers every year, and it ain't intelligence.

Back to the Eighties: The Right Responds To 50 Shades With Lies

"Ladies! Ladies! Don't you realize you're constructing a false idol there? No, it's not the name of a new sex position, its ... never mind ..." (BTW, that's James Deen helping them construct the idol.) Image source: Sex and Submisssion.com.
I'm feeling the right wing crank up their anti-sex machine with regard to the success of 50 Shades of Gray. I've already written about the cheap attack on 50 Shades by an almost certainly fictional "expert" which was initially made on an obscure right wing blog. Now Fox News has got an actual "expert" on the attack, albeit in a different way, with more sophisticated techniques, in an article entitled How Women Made Porn Fashionable.

The interesting thing is that both articles make extensive use of lies and misdirection for their attacks. It's like lying has become a habit so engrained in the right that they use it whether they need it or not. So I thought I'd administer a good old-fashioned Straight Dope forums-style beatdown on this article right here on my blog.

To start with:

Women are consuming and endorsing porn such as ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ -- a book recognized as ‘mommy porn.’ Poorly written, it is not a how-to-manual and it’s not poetic erotica.

So it's not a how-to manual, and it's not poetic erotica (whatever that is) so it's porn. Never has the middle felt so excluded!

Then we get:

Pulp/romance novels transformed into a new genre embracing porn as literature - explicitly sexual scenes featuring bondage/discipline, dominance/submission and sadism/masochism

He's way oversimplifying to make his point here. Romance novels still exist. It's obvious that a lot of their readership have shifted over to the erotic romance genre, especially in ebook format, which is what 50 Shades is an example of. But erotic romances are not really the same thing as porn, either. I was EIGHT CHAPTERS into the Fifty Shades before Ana got so much as a kiss. Eight chapters! Who ever heard of porn that went eight chapters without any sexual action? 50 Shades is erotica, not porn, dude. Not that you know the difference, or care to.

More than 20 million copies have sold in the US (40 million worldwide), and it is yet another example of the way porn is becoming more than socially acceptable amongst women. Moreover, it is becoming an aspirational target for women.

Women and the media have linked consuming porn or behaving like a porn actress with instant money, fame, power, glamour, prestige, respectability and social acceptability. In other words, if you become a porn actress or behave like one, you will triumph with all of these things. Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian became famous and rich for making a sex tape, and they spun off empires of TV shows, fashion lines, perfumes and paid appearances. The message is: one leads to the other.

This is complete bullcrap. Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian did indeed make sex tapes and they were indeed leaked to the Internet, but so have many other women. Yet only Hilton, Kardashian and a few others got rich and famous. Why just them? Could it be that Hilton and Kardashian's sex tapes took off because they were ALREADY rich and famous and had the connections to make the media sit up and take notice? Why yes, I believe it could be that. You'd have to be a complete dumbass to think that making a sex tape all by its lonesome was the gateway to fame and fortune. Then again, this article is aimed at women who read FoxNews. So ... I guess warning them is probably a good idea.

Using sex for money and fame, women have found a new way to feel powerful and secure without a man or even necessarily a family – Octomom has openly become a porn actress and stripper.

I would really like to see some statistics that this is being done by women generally, which is how he phrased it. I'm betting the truth is, it's being done by a FEW women, and the rest are watching with an unholy mixture of glee, schadenfreude, and envy.

Mothers, too, are now sexualizing their daughters and dressing them up as sexual candy for the world.

Yet another totally unsupported assertion, save for a few media types. How 'bout some stats, dude? Most women I know think this sort of thing is ridiculous. This unsubstantiated bloviating is getting annoying, but then, that's is why I don't follow Fox anything anywhere.

Porn could never have become mainstream and socially acceptable without the support and endorsement by women.

I guessed you missed the 1970s and 1980s, when porn did exactly that, without the support and endorsement of women. It wasn't mommy that made XXX videos a billion dollar industry, it was daddy. Try to pay some attention to, well ... anything, dude.

And women and the media have linked consuming porn or behaving like a porn actress with instant money, fame, power, glamour, prestige, respectability and social acceptability. In other words, if you become a porn actress or behave like one, you will triumph with all of these things.

Yeah, that's why you see porn actresses on breakfast cereal boxes nowadays. "Wheaties will let you take on three guys at once without breaking a sweat, just like Mindi Boytoy!" Do you not ever check any of your thoughts against reality to see if they make any sense at all, dude?

Accordingly, girls are more fascinated and driven by the desire to become famous than they are to become an engineer, doctor or scientist: Kim Kardashian has 14 million followers on Twitter.

I would like to see some evidence that the set of women who have a realistic shot at becoming an engineer, doctor or scientist overlaps with the set of women who follow Kim Kardashian on Twitter to any degree.

The paradox is that women are becoming more educated than men as women surpass men in attendance and graduation rates – for every two men who get a college degree, three women will do also. But, women are failing to realize the dangers of falling for porn or promoting porn as the new fashionable profession and path to fame, riches and glory. This is the antithesis of female empowerment as MTV, Kim Kardashian and Octomom are teaching young girls to gain power over men by using sex.

So, they are getting the college degrees so they'll get all the good jobs, AND they are learning to gain power over men by using sex? We're TOTALLY boned, guys! And not in a good way! And ... who watches MTV any more? Is it even still on? Did this guy's brain set like cement back in the early 80s?

Women have now created false empty idols and have lost their real sense of self-worth, value and significance, replacing it with fleeting pseudo-power and artificial values and relationships, leaving them feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied.

I had wondered what all those statues of Moloch were doing in the parking lot at Target, Walmart and most shopping centers ...

I appeal to women to beware of being deceived and betrayed into the world of porn and sexual objectification the same way that women were tricked into smoking cigarettes in the 1920s.

Let's see ... how did it go ... a woman who'll chew gum will smoke cigarettes, and a woman who smokes cigarettes will drink alcohol, and we all know what a woman who drinks alcohol will do ...

In April 1929, a PR expert, Edward Bernays, working for a US tobacco company, hired young models to march in the New York City parade and alerted the press that they were fighting for women’s rights by lighting "Torches of Freedom" as they lit up and smoked cigarettes. The media publicized the event and it helped to break the taboo against women smoking in public.

So that's why women took up smoking. I had thought they just wanted to get laid! (Some evidence that this PR event and others like it led to women smoking would be nice.)

Renowned physicist, psychiatrist, and psychoanalyst Dr. Jeffrey Satinover says porn is “a form of heroin, hundred times more powerful than before.”

Not believing a word of it. I'm betting this fellow works at one of those Institutes of Wacky Science that ideologues go to when they need an alarming quote. Had no idea porn was an opiate!

Forensic psychologist, M. Douglas Reed and renowned pharmacologist Candace Pert reveal that pornography is like a drug that triggers the brain to release a psychopharmacological flood of “epinephrine, testosterone, endorphins (endogenous morphine), oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin, and phenyethylamine,” which can lead to addiction and various other behavioral disorders.

More wacky science. But it would explain why I have to put a needleful of Kink.com images into my arm every few hours. But at least here we are told that porn is LIKE a drug, not that it IS one as in the previous quote. I like the way endorphins are described as "endogenous morphine." Does my brain have to go to a dealer located somewhere disgusting like my intestines to get it, I wonder, and pay it off with ... ideas?

Gal Dines, professor of sociology and women's studies and chair of the American Studies Department at Wheelock College in Boston, has written about and researched the porn industry for over two decades. Professor Dines, author of “Pornland: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality,” believes porn is a public health issue with documented negative effects on young people, distorting "the way women and girls think about their bodies, their sexuality and their relationships."

I'm betting Professor Dines has some very strong opinions about how women and girls should think about their bodies, their sexuality and their relationships. Note the "public health issue" bit ... it's the approach that Catherine MacKinnon took to attack porn and try to get it banned back in the 80s. Still harping on the same old saw. Hmm, I sense a trend here.

Pornography is equally damaging to adult relationships and social bonds – men are struggling to develop close, intimate relationships with real women with some men now preferring porn to sex with an actual human being.

Because looking at images of other people doing something is just as much fun as doing it yourself. That's why no one bothers to go on vacation any more, too.

Bottom line: porn does not promote love or sex but rather cruelty and hatred to women, and so, while women continue to endorse and make porn fashionable or a new ideal, they are foolishly robbing themselves and undermining all of the positive strides and triumphs they have made in their quest for equality.

Bottom line: get those pillbox hats and white gloves on and go back to church ladies, or you won't be feminists any more! I'm pretty sure that's where this guy is headed. It's a sad day when pornish bloggers have to give political writers savage beatdowns for lying and misrepresentation, but I guess that is where the right has gone with its political discourse.


Now THIS is a bottom line worth looking at! Image source: Training of O.com.

The Stir's Readers Know Their Bondage

An image of the mysterious bondage shopper. Image source: the AsiaOne forum.
For a long time on this blog I've been decrying the way mainstream media, particularly the fashion industry, use "bondage" to describe all sorts of things that clearly are not bondage. But there are a couple of heartening signs that people are catching on.

Somebody snapped a bunch of what appear to be cell phone pics of a scantily clad woman doing her shopping in a supermarket with her naked butt hanging out. It got picked up and described as an S&M outfit by the folks on the Asia One forum where it first appeared, then got picked up by The Stir and described as a "Fifty Shades of Gray Bondage Outfit."

The heartening part was the comments section of The Stir article, where readers were quick to point out that:

1) The outfit had nothing to do with Fifty Shades of Gray
2) The outfit had nothing to do with bondage, either, it was just a generic hooker kind of outfit.
3) Since all we saw of the outfit was the back side of the wearer, it could have been a man we were looking at.

To make things even more ironic, The Stir article was illustrated with a picture of a woman who was actually tied up.

I love it when I see readers keeping bloggers and media honest. Can you imagine the blowback, say, Cosmo would get if its articles always came with reader comments?

Of course, I rarely see such comments, because I am always right. Well almost always.


For the record, this is a naked woman, in bondage, in public. Thank you, Public Disgrace.

Women: Horny Trumps Disgust: Why The Human Race Exists, Really!

As a matter of fact, I AM feeling moderately less disgusted! Let's do it some more, I had no idea not being disgusted felt so very, very good! Image source: Hogtied.com (the gorgeous Jewell Marceau in a video eloquently titled "The Duct Tape Shake."
IO9 is on a roll of late. Yesterday we told you about their article on hilarious unsexy erotic toys. (I can't believe I linked to the post it's DIRECTLY below this post! Oh, well.) Today they are reporting on research by Danish scientist that indicates that sexually aroused women are less easily disgusted than women who are not sexually aroused. Check it out here -- amazing, eh?

Now some commenters have observed that this is one of the least amazing facts ever discovered by science. But I think they missed a subtle point made in the test: that the sexually aroused women were less disgusted by tasks that were not sexual in nature, as well as tasks that had sexual elements. (For example, drinking a glass of water that had a fake plastic, but real-looking, insect in it.)

This could mean that for women sexual arousal is linked in some way with whatever part of the mind is responsible for disgust, and that treatments (chemicals, whatever) that reduce disgust may help non-orgasmic women become more orgasmic.

Like much of science that deals with the mind, especially the sexy parts of the mind, it's fascinating and kinda weird. No wonder I liked the article!

Ye Olde Sex Toys

Over on I09, a site I usually go to in order to get my science fiction/science fact hits, they have an article entitled "Hilarious and Unsexy Historical Erotic Toys." The article really delivers what its title promises: the toys are hilarious in their clumsy attempts to be sexy, and completely unsexy by modern standards. Maybe in the day when a glimpse of a stockinged ankle was major boner material they were something, but by modern standards, they are hilariously lame. Check it out, it's interesting and fun, even with the stupid stars. (The article is censored, with stars blocking out the hilariously unsexy genitals and nipples of the images on the toys, Gawker claiming that it is a "family company.")

For the record: companies may be owned and run by families, but they are not people, hence can't be "family companies." They're just machines for making money. Nothing wrong with that, unless you start letting them sway elections with huge cash outlays (see: "machines for making money") under the misapprehension that they are people and have free speech rights. Now THAT would be hilariously stupid!


"Listen here, Miss Corporation, you have the same right to speech that any other corporation has: the right to remain silent!" Image source: Fucking Dungeon.com.
Alternate caption: We'll go with the big boys' toys!

An Expressive Blowjob

"Well, I studied philosophy for four years, and now look at me, a slavegirl, naked, on my knees, wearing armbinders and sucking some guy's cock 'cause he told me to. Well, at least I am wonderfully well equipped to be philosophical about it!" Image source: Public Disgrace.com.
Really, the expression on this woman's face is fascinating. Most porn models being photographed with a cock in their mouths tend to look up at the guy attached to the cock with their eyes wide, wide open. This woman is looking up at the guy, but her expression is more guarded. It's like, "Yes, I'm naked, I'm bound and I'm on my knees before you, and I've got your cock in my mouth ... but I'm watching you, buddy!"

Another Network Toys With Wonder Woman

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Cyclops And The Slave Girls -- WTF Through The Roof!

Two frames from Cyclops and the Slavegirls, a video that has to be seen to be believed.
Cyclops and the Slave Girls is a dailymotion video that has me completely puzzled. Its theme seems to be cannibalism (the sexual fetish) and/or vore (another sexual fetish that involves being literally eaten, though typically by very large animals). It's about four beautiful, sexy, topless slavegirls who get eaten by a cyclops, after being roasted alive. You can find it here.

Well it's definitely not my cuppa, but that's OK, plenty of things aren't my cuppa, and that's not what puzzles me about the video.

What puzzles me is the enormous amount of trouble that Cine Lux went to through to create the video, and the curious animation technique he used. Take a look at the two images at the top of the post here. Apparently, he used photos of naked models ... they're in the credits, which he photoshopped a lot and then ... distorted the features of so that their expression ... varies. Its a primitive form of animation, perhaps the most primitive form, and it's not at all attractive. Their expressions consist of two different kinds of unattractive grimaces, and yes, their breasts bobble up and down in time with the changes in their facial expressions.

Not just occasionally. Constantly. Like I said, not attractive, though technically I suppose it is a step up from previous films by Cine Lux, where they simply pasted cut out photos of the actresses with no attempt to animate their features as they spoke via word balloon.

The video spends a lot of time setting up the characters and backgrounds of the three hotties of the story, given that the whole point of the film is that they are cooked alive and then eaten by the cyclops. It starts out as a story of slavegirls in the ancient world and turns into … well .. the bulk of the film consists of vore/cannibalism porn. These scenes are not all that horrific, as the animation is so crude and not at all disgusting, compared to what it might have been. Plus the slavegirls are witty right up til the end.

That's another thing, the dialogue is witty in spots and generally kinda sharp. There's a clear humorous intent to the film along with the cannibalism. Though I suppose if you were sexually aroused by cannibalism, it might be necessary to cultivate a sense of humor. It looks like a children's cartoon created by a madman.

All of this, especially the bizarre animation technique, combines to create a tremendous WTF factor for the video. It's mind boggling. Watch it, at least for a few moments. I didn't watch all of it, I did a lot of skimming, cause the cannibalism part is boring if you are not into cannibalism.

The other thing is, the film is so labor intensive. He had to edit it on a frame-by-frame basis. (I don't know that the creator of the film is male, the credits imply a huge team of people made the film, but I don't buy it for an instant.) It must have taken a log time to put the elements together and get the film moving. Which is probably why it moves at a snail's pace. There are easier ways of achieving much more sophisticated animations.


"With an impressive name like Cine Lux, this has to be a good movie I'm in! They said I'd have lots of sizzling scenes, too!" Image source: Hogtied.com.

Naked Bondage Cheerleader Does Big Split

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Nice Kinky Spoof From ... The Daily KOS?

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BDSM Sex Club Discovered In Historic Louisvile, Kentucky

Him: "This is SO MUCH fun! We shouldn't keep it to ourselves, we should share it around. Start a club or somethin'."
Her: "Mmmmgh!"
Him: "I knew you'd see things my way!
Image source: Fucking Dungeon.com.
Deep in the bowels of Louisville Kentucky, historic building renovators have discovered a secret BDSM sex club hidden beneath the very streets of downtown. An entrance under the basement of a disused historic building leads two stories beneath the streets of downtown.

The creepy, dingy underlit club, unused for decades, features a rack and some really badly decomposed furniture, and some of the most ugly-ass painting I have ever seen on it's wall. Really, check out the story, if there were ever paintings that were designed to put you OUT of the mood for sex of ANY kind, these are it. If I walked into a Gorean paga tavern and saw art like that I'd walk right out and I wouldn't stop walking til I had reached the docks and sailed.

I'll stick with this guy's art, thankyewverymuch. Or even photos like the one up top.

The club started back in the 1970s and continued to the 1990s. "We got the paintings because the basement location just was not dingy and forbidding enough on its own," said a nonexistent former club member. Well no one said, that, I made it up. SOMEBODY needed to say it.

In and Outing, Lesbian Bondage Style

When they told her she would soon be scoring a hole in one, she had assumed the game would be golf. Image source: Whipped Ass.com.

Labor Day Piano Lesson

"No, no! Please ... not Brahms' Sonata No. 3 in F Minor!"* Image source: Whipped Ass.
It's Labor Day, and we honor you for laboring. You work hard to buy those piano lessons for your wife ... but they're worth it!

Happy Labor Day!

*Brahms Sonata No. 3 in F Minor is noted for forcing the pianist to play with her hands placed at opposite ends of the keyboard a lot. Painful, in this case!

Jenna Louise Coleman Part 2: Even More Naked, Fucked and Tied or ... Even More Cloned?

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A Brilliant Analysis of Fifty Shades Of Gray From Feministing

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