Sexual Bondage Comedy Duo!

The Bad Lesbian Comedy Bondage duo of Penny Pax (left) and Chanel Preston was a little ahead of its time. The humor was perhaps a bit too advanced for most audiences, but their appearances were still very well attended for some reason or other.

Image source: Kink.com shoot 35488, "TSA Takedown Part 2: Patriots."

Of Lips And Gags

"She's ready for her close-up Mr. Demille." Chloe Camille convincingly demonstrates the way bright red lipstick can work with a red ballgag. Notice the way her lips wrap naturally around the ballgag, making it all look like a single natural unit. Dynomite!
Image Source: Kink.com shoot 10443, Halloween starring Chloe Camille.
While perusing a number of eminent websites in pursuit of my intellectual studies, I noticed something rather striking: very few of the artsy bondage kinda sites have any idea what gags are all about, as they almost never use them.

Come to think of it, a lot of hardcore bondage sites tend to neglect gags, using them rarely, or not effectively. The pic above shows what gags are all about ... controlling the sub's mouth. In the case of a ring gag, it's propping the mouth open, allowing things to be shoved rapidly in and out of it. In the case of your more commonplace ball gag, it's filling the mouth, letting the sub know that even as her top is working her pussy, her mouth is still under his control, not hers.

It's also about the softly muffled cries of passion that get out from under a gag, and the way a string of drool trails down the chin, a visible reminder of the sub's helplessness. Sure, it contorts the sub's face a bit, but that's just another aspect of her helplessness. Her very expression is controlled by her top. The sub's mouth is for kissing and licking and oral sex, and when not in use for those purposes, is quite properly bound and put away for such uses later.

If you think about it in those terms instead of going "Eeeew, gag!" you might just up your game a notch or two, art bondage people. I'm not saying that this is my taste and everybody's taste ought to be like mine, I'm writing this because I think a lot of bondage/sub-top/master-slave/up-down/whoopsi-doodle type folks might just find themselves enjoying gags a lot more of they put a little thought into what they are really all about.

And come to think of it, there ARE art bondage people, a lot of them. What the hell? What happened to bondage's ultra-skeeviness? I feel another post coming on!

The gag that says, "My lips are yours to use as you please, and when you please." And just look at how those red lips accentuate that spider gag while it's spread her mouth wide for whatever. By which I mean a cock, of course. And we can't ignore the way the model's huge, beautiful wide-open brown eyes work with her beautiful wide-open mouth. So we won't! 
Image Source: A reverse image search using a number of search sites turned up one hit, a site called Scroller which is a repository of sexy images, which cited as its source a subreddit that I used to curate, which means it's a pic I found on the Interwebs somewhere. There was no useful information about the picture on Scroller, and no other hits for the pic came up on Tineye, Yandex, Baidu, Alamy, and Shutterstock as well as Google reverse image, which is the search engine that found the image on Scroller. So I have no idea where this image originated. Drop me a line if you do!

An illustrative lost opportunity. This is bondage model Tatti Russo in a shoot for (gazes at watermark) Fucking Dungeon.  Will you look at those gorgeous lips of hers, so beautifully highlighted by that red, red lipstick? Of course you will, how could you not? Can you imagine how gorgeous those lips would look wrapped around a ballgag or a ring gag? I bet you can, I sure can. However apparently the same photographer who managed to take this shot could not. Because...

You don't have to imagine because here's Tatti in the same photoshoot wearing the same lipstick but with a ball gag strapped into her mouth.  And she does look gorgeous. Just not nearly as gorgeous as in the image above. I think it's two things: the lighting is much harsher in this image, making her skin look paler and her lipstick look paler, too. More importantly, her lips are pulled back over her teeth, making her lips look less full. Of course having a ballgag in her mouth will make a woman's lips stretch, too. I don't think that's what is happening here, though. I think it's just that no one thought about the possibilities here. Letting her lips relax into a more natural shape would let them be the full lips that they are. I could be wrong, my thinking is purely hypothetical here, but I think my thoughts explain the images well.

And here's gorgeous bondage model Nicotine making my point. Her lips are stretched back, but not so far back that they don't look full and gorgeous against that gag. And that red lipstick works beautifully with the ballgag. Damn.Imagine if her lips had been posed like Chloe Camille's lips.

Image source: kink.com shoot 6716 starring Nicotine and Clair Adams.

Here's Nicotine from the same video, sans ballgag. Absolutely gorgeous lips, just like Tatti, in fact, both are flat-out gorgeous in these shoots. Imagine what could have been if the photographer had tried to get the full effect of those lips wrapped around a ballgag, like Chloe's were. Woulda been spectacular.

Unexpected Alien Sex Queen!

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Leonardo AI Motion 2.0 Don't Need No Steenkin' Gravity!

This is how it started. A practically naked Second Life avatar ;photographed in a shallow stream with a luxurious jungle background. It's one of the best Second Life pics I've taken, although the avatar is, well, kinda bug-eyed. But such nice water, such nice jungle foliage, and such nice tanned breasts and a pussy barely covered by a waistcloth. 

So of course I HAD to run it through Leonardo AI and see what I got. What I got was eight iterations that are pretty darned close to this one. A great image, transformed the bug eyes into human eyes that are only slightly wonky, and really creates a lifelike jungle background. The stream is more realisitic than the Second Life stream but lacks the transparency of the SL version and still looks kinda AI-generated. And the more naturalistic hair just isn't as pretty as the SL avatar's hair. Worst of all, it Leonardo put that stupid bikini or one like it on every iteration and shrank those big, beautiful breasts down to a "nice rack" and gave us a granny bikini in place of that tiny wisp of silk. Still, it kept the nice skin tones and made the body more human. But what would happen if I gave it motion?

This happened. Here was my prompt: "Woman rises gracefully from stream, swirling water around her as she dances joyfully, camera slowly panning to reveal lush jungle." This video is clearly nothing like what I asked for. It's as if I asked for, "Woman lying in water is slowly pulled into the air by an invisible force, then is suddenly launched upward at high speed, driving the camera underwater somehow, then the camera resurfaces and see her flung into the trunk of a tall palm tree, then ragdolling as she falls toward the ground." VERY imaginative but it sure as hell wasn't what I asked for. Clearly, Leonardo AI does not understand gravity. Or much of anything in this instance.

Couldn't let it rest there, or course. Tried again with the same image using this prompt hoping to gentle things down: "Woman smiles, waves, then gently dips her hand in the stream. Camera slowly zooms in, focusing on her joyful expression." As you can see it worked a LOT better though I'm unsure why. Probably just random AI malarkey. I do wish the AI hadn't uglified the face, the face on this one is worse than the SL avatar toward the end, though much more human-looking. Lesson learned, whatever it was! 

Put out an ABB, STAT!

I recognize this sexy, sexy kidnapped Hooter's girl! It's Brooke Thomsen! Put out an ABB for this KBM pronto! No telling what she's up to! (ABB=All Bondage Bulletin, KBM is Known Bondage Model, of course.)

Image source: Brooke Thomsen, in a shoot from DGBondage.com. Looks like she's photoshopped into a truck interior. Now THIS is a kidnapper with taste!

An Odd Job Indeed!

Being a tandem sex yoga coach was a very different job, but so rewarding when you helped people find sexual Nirvana!

Image source: Kink.com shoot 18922, "Slave Training of Lyla Storm Day 4: Sexual Obedience" starring (left to right) Derrick Pierce, Lyla Storm and Isis Love. Not picture: The Pope. 

The Road To Excess Sometimes Leads to Something Other Than Wisdom

"Oh-ay. Ih ih ih-ik-ooh-uh!"

Translation from gag talk: "Ok. This is RIDICULOUS!"

Image source: Kink.com video 14260, "Intense Submission, Audrey Rose" starring Audry Rose and Mark Davis.

Leonardo AI Makes 2D Second Life Avatar Come To Life!

 
The Second Life avatar where it all began.

After I ran the Leondardo AI'd avatar through Kling AI's Motion 2 program I got this. Nice! Living woman from a drawing! The way motion video converts these images to 3D motion is amazing. The prompt I used was: "Woman slowly stretches, luxuriously awakening on a bed. Camera gently pans, then zooms slightly as she sits up, reaching for a nearby object." It wasn't a total win: the grayscreen background did not magically turn into a bed. Instead we got grass that I didn't ask for. Also, the diaphanous barely-there bra on her back magically turned into a real bra in front. Though I did like the way Motion 2.0 integrated the front of her collar with her bra. And her left forearm got a littl thick at times. But the best thing was the way the video lingered for a moment on the original image as is, with her literally lifting herself from 2D status to 3D status. Nice! The way her butt morphs is particularly nice. That's the way it works when you start out with a nice butt.

Sithed Senseless!

When she was captured by a Sith Mistress, she knew the full meaning of being Force-fucked.

Image source: Kink.com shoot 38924 "Whore In Training: Missy Minks Anally Submits to Cherry Torn!" featuring Missy Minks (left) and Cherry Torn (right). Force lightning effects by The Unknown Blogger.

Overwhelmed!

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Mainstream Movie and TV Show Strippers: Overdressed and Underlit

This is Jessica Alba playing a stripper in the R-rated movie "Sin City," a film in which Carla Gugino and several othe actresses get stark naked. This is as naked as Jessica gets while she's "stripping." The producers wanted her desperately for the role, apparently. No offense to Jessica, a great beauty and a good actress, but she was eminently replaceable in that role, and her unwillingness to do nudity should have disqualified her from the role. It would have been so much more powerful to see the young girl Bruce Willis rescued now forced to dance naked before men to survive in Sin City. There are a lot of excellent, attractive actresses who WILL do nudity or at least dancing in just a string thong, but I guess one or more of the producers was a Jessica Alba fanboy (or fangirl) and totally failed to understand the extra kick that nudity would have given the movie dramatically. A shame.

 When mainstream media want to approach sexual or porny topics they have all sorts of tricks and dodges. One of my favorites is the clothed stripper. No, I don’t mean an off-duty stripper not stripping, I mean a stripper at work on stage who never takes her clothes off, often dancing among other strippers who never take their clothes off, generally before an audience of men who are just fine with that. The greatest example of that is, of course, the one above.

To give you some idea how timid this scene is for an R-rated movie, here is a vidcap from a brief scene of strippers dancing from a defunct SyFy Channel TV series "Special Unit 2" which is about Chicago cops who fight supernatural crime. This would be the equivalent of a G-rated movie in the US, as it can be presumed that the audience would include children. So, here's the vidcap:

 

Need I say more? This is a stripper doing a split, seen from, ahem, behind. 

I guess the tightly stretched thong covering the pussy that presses against it made it G-rated. 

But this G-rated striptease registered as much sexier than Alba's pathetic scene.

 Because that butt was THERE, even if only briefly and in a dimly lit scene. 

(I lightened the image but I didn't do a damned thing to make it look more naked.)

And to be completely fair, this image is definitely an outlier that I'm pretty sure
slid past the censors. Most TV strippers are on par with Jessica Alba in "Sin City." 

Now for comparison, here's an online porn nekkid dancer (they tend to start out nekkid so "stripper" is not an accurate term):

Here's a vidcap of some online nekkid dancing, a very "in your face" dance I think most will agree. 
Any questions? The dancer for this video is ambercutie, and you can find more of her work on ambercutie.com. She's very naked and very talented.

Because folks have access to the Interwebs, most people know that when they watch the clothed strippers in movies and TV shows, or even the topless strippers in movies and TV shows, they aren't seeing the real thing or anything like it. Because they've seen the images of the real thing in the pornos, and they know it's a very different thing. They know the mainstream version is weak sauce, nothing like the real thing.

Jennifer Aniston looking surly as she does a striptease in "We're the Millers." "Tease" is the right word because this is about as naked as she gets. Aniston is the Real Deal as far as acting is concerned, and she's the Real Deal as far as beauty is concerned, and she's the Real Deal as far as comedy is concerned. But she's not the Real Deal when it comes to stripping.

Rose McGowan plays stripper Cherry Delight in "Grindhouse." She is one of the hottest, most beautiful actresses ever. But come on, granny panties and a sports bra as a stripper outfit? That's just sad! I'm sure it wasn't McGowan's idea, she's got all the courage in the world. She gets total cred from me for being willing to call Harvey Weinstein out for the shit he pulled on her when no one else was talking about Weinstein the rapist. 

I found this on a wiki page which identified it as a scene from the "Murder Ex Machina" episode of the "Elemantary" TV series. The strippers were described as bizarrely overdressed, but I found it bizarrely underlit. Overdressed and in near pitch darkness, that's how I like my strippers! (What were they thinking?)

So of course I ran the image through GIMP and lightened it up. And yeah, look at the one stripper in pink and black granny panties and a full corset or something like it, and the other wearing a very full bra that keep her breasts well hidden and looks like a standard bikini bottom, which is mostly unseen in this image. The only person that's topless here is Johnny Miller as Sherlock. But wait! There's more! This image I am pretty sure is from a DIFFERENT episode of Sherlock, "The Deductionist" where Sherlock is robbed by two strippers he invites into his home for entertainment purposes. I'm pretty sure the picture got posted to the wrong page because it was too dark to tell what the hell was going on. A travesty in every sense, as Sherlock would say.

When you do a Google search for "Mainstream movie stripper" (with SafeSearch turned off, of course) you'll get a lot of images of Elizabeth Berkley in "Showgirls" and Demi Moore in "Striptease." Berkley gave us the full monty in "Showgirls" but Moore went topless but never revealed any naughty bits below the waist. Though if you watched the whole film you'd have a pretty good idea what Demi Moore's naked body looks like. Thing is, though, these films are very much outliers, most mainstream movie and TV nude scenes are like the ones seen above this GIF. I think they reason they show up is because well, they're the nakedest mainstream movie strippers. It's like Google understand what people think of when they think of strippers.

I've got a collection of vids of naked women dancing from around the internet. It's amazing how many talented, naked dancers there are out there. I commend them all. Here's one of them to close out the article. Notice how raunchy it is:

I tried to identify this dancer and image using a vidcap from the video, which is very much a hit-or-miss proposition. I did get one hit: Google identified the image I sent them as being from a video called, "Watch Sexy Hula Hoop" on SpankBang. And the background on this video is identical to the background on the thumbnail the Google search pulled up. So I tried to get into SpankBang to see if I could get more info. But Spankbang wanted me to provide a picture of myself for "age verification" purposes. Sorry, Spankbang, I'm far too good looking to let you have a pic of me, you'd be hounding me endlessly to be in your porn shoots if I did that. Really. But if anyone can ID her, please drop a line in the comments.

Mad Science Marches On!

In their search for greater profits, the health insurance companies started covering visits to doctors with degrees from Mad Science University. The results were... predictable.

Image source: Kink.com shoot 17977, "Peeping Tom Gets Revenge On Busty Blonde" starring Penny Pax and Mark Davis.

Totally Unfair!

It was so unfair. She was ordered to warm up Master's cock for her Mistress, while her Mistress whipped her ass hard for having the NERVE to touch her Master's cock in her Mistress's presence. These people knew how to treat a slavegirl right!

Source: kink.com shoot 10383 featuring (left to right) Derrick Payne, Chloe Camille and Isis Love.

Leonardo AI Surprise Video, Deposit Photo AI

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Cumming Is Thirsty Work!

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Homophones Are The WORST!

 
Master had thrown her out of the house naked and told her to "go pedal you ass somewhere else, slut" after she confessed her needs a leetle too insistently. Ah well, it was fun and the bike seat helped her with her needs a lot.

Image source: I ran it through several reverse image search and it's apparently from a video of a model named Gwen or Gwen C. A commenter identified the location as Barcelona. And that's about it.