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Thursday, May 30, 2013

Hard-Edged Satire From the Onion, Sexy Bondage Video on Vimeo, Steel Restraints on Youtube


The Onion does some flip and fun humor, one of the few humor sources anywhere that can make me actually laugh out loud. This video did not make me laugh out loud, but I liked it MUCH better than Onion videos that made me laugh out loud, because it has a nasty, concealed undercurrent of anger about a social issue under its light, frothy exterior. It's like a Thomas Kinkaid landscape on the surface, with a pit of boiling acid underneath. That's what gives the humor its edge, the tension between the mundane story of a social media rockstar on the surface, and what's being said about how well people are compensated for their work underneath. I'm sure what fuels the pit of boiling acid is that the Onion writers feel the burn personally.

And to keep things bondage-y, here's a link to a nice Vimeo video full of sexy bondage images with a jazzy tune to carry it along, and look below for a Youtube video from Rapture Products that appears to be a straight up commercial for steel bondage restraints, which seems to be getting away with a lot in the area of "being too sexy for Youtube," though granted, there's no nudity.

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Steampunk Bondage Porn!


The Naked Maiden Powered Airship Drive, although noticeably less efficient and powerful than steam engines, nevertheless proved quite popular among many airship crews! Image source: Whipped Ass.com.

Steampunk, often associated with bewhiskered gents clad in khakis and wearing large brass goggles, often sporting brass weaponry with what appears to be plumbing lines on it, which emits death rays of various sorts, is not the natural and easy stretch for porn that, say, Slave Leia cosplay is. And yet, with its penchant for heavy iron chains, brass ornamentation and obscure, menacing devices, it might just have a lot of potential for bondage porn. A word to the wise!

Friday, May 17, 2013

Newest Reality TV Show: Hardcore Nude Wrestling/Midwifery


"Hold still! That little sucker is slippery! I think I got a foot, though!" Image source: Ultimate Surrender.com.

As television producers keep looking farther and farther afield for their latest hit show has led us to a new frontier: naked lesbian wresting/midwifery. In each episode, a pregnant woman and her midwife wrestle naked, with the pregnant lesbian wrestler seeking to somehow alleviate the pain caused by childbirth and wrestling, and the wresting lesbia midwife seeking to extract the child safely.

"This series has all the drama you could possibly want, as the midwife struggles to bring the child to term," says series showrunner Lydia Pilkington-Danforth. "The agonized screams of a mother in a full nelson as she gives birth will have you on the edge of your seats. The hot lesbian action as the two naked women writhe in tandem will have you creaming your seats. And to top it all off, the wonderful, ethereal experience of childbirth, a new human being coming into the world before your very eyes!"

The series will air on Thursday nights at 10 pm on the Lifetime Network, always a leader in health and medical programming.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Emilia Clarke Naked Tied and Fucked: or ... Celebrity Cloned?


An illustration offering a potential explanation for Daenerys Targeryn's sympathy for slaves or ... some invidious blogger using the resemblance between actress Emilia Clarke and her porn clone Natasha Lyn to SUGGEST such an explanation? YOU be the judge! Image source: Sex and Submission.com and promo shot for Game of Thrones television series.

Well apparently the mad scientists are at it again. Emilia Clarke, the actress who plays Daenerys Targeryn on Game of Thrones, HBO's incredibly successful adaptation of George R. R. Martin's "Song of Fire and Ice" fantasy series, has apparently got herself a pornoclone, Natasha Lyn, an adult model who has done some scenes for Kink.com.

Like most clones, she is not a perfect copy of Emilia Clarke, small imperfections and changes which highlight the imperfections of the genetic reproduction process compared to, say, digital reproductions. But of course, human beings are very complex creatures, their surface appearance is hardly all there is to them. So when I tell you that Clarke and Lyn's islets of Langerhans and uvulas are virtually identical, cell for cell, I know you will be impressed!


Being a slave girl CAN have its ... compensations! Image source: Sex and Submission.com and a vidcap from the Game of Thrones television series.

And DO watch Game of Thrones if you are a fan of things Gorean, cause it's about the most Gorean TV series ever made. Puts the actual Gor movies into perspective! Interestingly, in the book, Daenerys is cast as a liberator of slaves, because she hates slavery. Some have speculated that she hates slavery because her brother forced her into marriage with a wild horseman type, giving her sympathy with what slaves go through.


Emilia Clarke may have developed some understanding of her celebrity clone's feelings, however. Image source: vidcap from Game of Thrones.

I personally didn't buy that theory, because what happened to Daenerys is what happens to many noblewomen in the Game of Thrones world. Following the medieval custom, they are married off as best suits the political ambitions of their families (as are princes, on occasion). Granted, Daenerys' personal interests are no more catered to than those of a whore in one of Kings' Landings' brothels, insofar as who she winds up fucking, but I don't see her making the imaginative leap between that and slavery. Most noblewomen would have every reason NOT to make any such leap, as not doing so enabled them to retain their self-image as rich and powerful noblewomen rather than lowly slaves.

Monday, May 13, 2013

Plight of the Middle Class Conservative Voter


"Go ahead, Tea Party bitch, squirm and scream right into the Citizens United brand gag ... you know you love it!" Image source: Sex and Submission.

Middle class voters who vote for Republicans are a puzzle to me. While the Democrats are bought out by Wall Street, the Republicans pretty much ARE Wall Street, and if there is anything that has become very evident over the last few years, it's that Wall Street is putting the hurt on the middle class, big time.

Wall Street profits are up, they're keeping oceans of cash overseas (and out of the economy) for tax reasons (i.e., they don't want to pay their share) the one percent owns 65 percent of American's wealth and the economic recovery from the 2007 crash is generally described as "jobless." The numbers are so hugely obvious that voting Republican is essentially stealing from yourself and your children, as the only technique the Republicans can come up with for raising revenues is gutting Social Security and Medicaid, the two most effective programs for alleviating poverty we have.

But the wealthy conservatives dangle the specter of gays marrying and women having abortions in front of middle class conservatives, and damned if they don't vote their kids right off the island in every election!

I found the image above to be a powerful graphic representation of the plight of middle class conservatives, artfully detailing their situation. I'm sure it'll be on all the cable news networks soon!

Saturday, May 11, 2013

New Cover For Hottitude of Servitude


NOW we're talking hottitude!

I recently updated some of the text in "The Hottitude of Servitude," as I had gotten some emails and comments from folks who found errors in the book. Although it was difficult to understand how a mighty writer such as I could make an error, but there it was. So I did a thorough proofreading of the book, fixed all the errors I could find, and re-published it. And while re-publishing it, I redid the front cover.

Whether or not it could really be called an error, I did not like it, it struck me as the typical editor's too-literal approach to graphic design. That is, I had taken a variety of images from various vidcaps and put them together for the cover, so you could say, "There's Slave Leia, there are the Slavegirls From Beyond Infinity, there is a hottie from Electric Blue #44, there's a slavegirl in a baggy tunic, etc."

The result was a jumbled mishmash of a cover, I've since decided, that does not really convey the beauty of slavegirls properly. Thinking about it, it reminds me all too much of the phenomenon of "art by committee" you get when a group of non-artists take control of the design of an artwork and build it by non-artistic standards.


Jumbled, I tells ya!

I could have avoided the jumbling problem by having just one or two images of a sexy slavegirl on the cover, but to my mind, that would have created a new problem, maybe giving readers the book is primarily about whomever is on the cover. So I decided to go with a simpler cover that expressed the theme of "hottie slave girls" using what I hope will be perceived as generic Second Life slavegirls.

In addition to giving the cover a more uncluttered look, the new cover also allows me to control the content in ways that I could not with vidcaps. Since having entirely naked slavegirls would limit the books salability on mainstream sites, I made sure that the slavegirls on the new cover had all their naughty bits covered up, but I was able to use Photoshop to make sure that their naughty bits were the ONLY thing covered up. It's better marketing, plus I hate censorship (what would really be wrong with drawings of nipples and vaginas?) so getting as close to violating the hell out of the spirit of censorship rules while sticking to the letter of such rules feels great to me. Call it a hobby!

50 Shades of Yoga

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Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Why Do The Bluenoses Rage?


"What, me, porn?"

Ran across a story about a schoolteacher who bought a student a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. A private school teacher named Roger Aidoo bought a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey for a 14 year old male student, who had requested the book as part of an extracurricular reading assignment.

The student's mother, Maya Ladson, did not think this was an appropriate thing for the teacher to do, and complained to the school about it. Fair enough, the school administrators hauled Aidoo in, gave him the third degree, and were apparently satisfied with his story that he was not all that familiar with the fact that Fifty Shades of Grey contained lots of explicit BDSMy sex.

Ladson, however, ain't buying it. She wants Aidoo fired. But the administrators, in a rare display of scholarly backbone, aren't firing him over the irate cries of one crazed bluenosed mom.

Here's my take on the story. Buying the kid a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey was a boneheaded move by the teacher. But it's not a firing offense. Hell, any kid with access to a computer can find porn that will make Fifty Shades of Grey look like Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm. So the appropriate thing to do is to haul Aidoo in and tell him, "That was a really stupid thing to do, and if you do anything remotely like it in the future, we are going to fire you so hard and fast it will make you head spin. Now get out of here, you knucklehead."

The interesting thing is why Lawson's panties got totally bunched up over this. Bluenoses seem to get worked up over sex-related matters orders of magnitude more than regular people do. That's why they have so much influence, I suppose. I suspect that bluenoses are people who have attempted to repress their own sex drives in various ways, and every sexual thing that comes along is just a huge irritant to them, whereas it just does not bother the less sexually repressed. They're pains in the asses and generally useless, and it would be a shame if Mr. Aidoo lost his job because he irritated a bluenose. He would hardly be the first if he did, however.


Mrs. Lawson, just in case you were wondering, this is porn. Fifty Shades of Grey is what we call "erotica." And there is nothing wrong with porn or erotica, just for the record. If you want to shield your boy from it, that's fine. But try to have some reasonableness here. Image source: DeviceBondage.com.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Diamond Girl


From the mud grows the rose, and, well ... diamonds gotta grow somewhere! Image source: WhippedAss.com.

Recommended music for this post: Diamonds and Gold by My Terrible Friend.


So I found this story on Jezebel about a woman who accidentally ingested a $5000 diamond from a champagne flute. Why people think putting valuable stuff in food makes sense I have no idea, because sure as shit, sooner or later, it'll get eaten. Even if it's a $5000 diamond.


Only one way to get that diamond out ... Image source: WhippedAss.com.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Good Gorean Combat Video On Youtube


A still from a Gorean combat video showing a naked slavegirl just hanging around while a battle rages around her. Image source: TheGodofBeer's Gorean battle video.

The God of Beer, aka BradAtWar "Superman"Guardian has posted a few battle videos that give a pretty good idea how Gorean combat works, like this one here. It's basically Brad carrying a camera during a mass raid on the Agarath Vikings and camming around on various people as he fights. Or doesn't fight, you can't really do an effective job of fighting in an SL Gor Evolved if you are doing anything else at all. Brad gets downed twice, and I've been in fights with Brad, he's a legit super bow, and mostly it's other people who get downed when he fights. I think he was basically just doing the filming in this fight.

Experienced Gorean fighters will be able to easily figure this out, but I'll point out a few things for those who are not experienced fighters.

You'll note a lot of large pointed stake-like objects growing out of the ground. Those are tree trunks. They look like stakes because Brad has his alpha channels turned off, and the foliage on trees is normally rendered in the alpha channels. I know this for sure because when Brad is downed, no red bubble (also rendered in alpha channels) pops up around him.

Some Second life viewers, like Firestorm, allow you to place your camera so that it views another avatar in the same sim you are in with a mouseclick. That's what Brad is doing when the camera suddenly jumps to a different scene in the battle. He's watching others fight, basically.

Interesting bit at the end. There are various people lying on the ground bound in ropes. Brad takes one as a captive, leashing her up. (You do that by clicking on the ropes and then clicking on the popup menu that says "leash." You can then drag the person in the binds wherever you like.) And so Brad starts dragging his captive off to the docks, probably with a view to roleplaying with her for a time and thus encouraging the Agarath Vikings to raid his lands to rescue her.

But as he's leaving, he gets sniped by a defender, arrows hitting him from the fort. So Brad drops his captive since you can't run while dragging a leashed captive (in fact, you CAN run with a leashed captive in the game, but it's against the rules of battle on most sims). Once he's free of the captive, he starts shooting it out with the sniper, which typically would not go well for the sniper, but an Agarath Viking, unknown to Brad, makes a run out to where Brad is and sneaks up on him and downs him with a sword while he's engaged with the sniper. Excellent tactics.

Brad's former captor then proceeds to bind him, but she does not take him captive, when the video ends she is clearly headed away from the fort, which generally means she is going to sail him, the fate of most invaders who are losers in a battle. Generally just one or two are kept captive to be roleplayed, though sometimes virtually a whole group will be taken. It's up to the victors how many get roleplayed, and since that means committing an hour at least to interacting with the captives, there's a tendency for most to get sailed.

An important part of many Gor Evolved is missing here. Most Gor Evolved groups use Vent when they raid. It makes things a lot more exciting, hearing your friends voices as they shout on Vent, "Over here! I'm downed! My captor is in the red, you can take him down easy!" or "We got snipers in the tower to the southeast" or "Ok, lets stick together here at the gate and wear them down before we go in."

Finally, I do not believe this video is at all typical of Brad's performance in battle when he's not filming. He generally gets into the thick of the fighting and stays there. The filming made him hang back a lot, so in that sense it's not typical of Gor Evolved battles. Mostly you want to be in there, shooting and stabbing. But it still gives you some idea what goes on in a battle, and that's a good thing!

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Where Have I Been?


Here, a Kink.com model gives an interpretive face-making of what I felt like in the emergency room. Image source: Hogtied.com.

My kidney interacted badly with some dye that was put in my body for a medical test. How badly, I did not know until the next day, when I went on a ride to the emergency room and then spent four miserable, boring days in the hospital. My kidneys are back to normal now ... whatever "normal" might mean, in respect to me. Let the bloggish blathering continue!