Nose Typing

Why submissives don't use upper case letters.

She had thought learning Dvorak ten-finger touch typing was hard, but she soon discovered it was as nothing compared to Gorean nose typing.

Image"J Maggie Gyllenhaal from the film Secretary.

A Compliment

Him:"Gee, your hair smells terrific."

Her:"You can stop with the compliments big guy, if this isn't having your way with me, nothing is."

Him:"No, really, it DOES smell terrific!"

Her:"Pervert!"

Image courtesty of Bondagerotica sponsor Sex and Submisison.

On the Menu

When I saw a "Wet Slavegirl on the Rocks" on the menu, of course I had to order it. I figured it would be some kind of drink, like "Sex on the Beach." Turns out it was just what the menu said it was. Not that I'm complaining, mind you.

Image courtesy of www.restrainedelegance.com. They have a huge number of videos and galleries of absolutely beautiful models beautifully photographed while restrained in all sorts of ways, sometimes dressed, sometimes undressed, and also plenty of commissioned artworks. Highly recommended. And no, they're not a sponsor ... yet.

The Considerate Damsel

Her captor was having so much fun being evil and all that prior to being gagged, she just hadn't had the heart to tell him that the rail line had been abandoned for years and that he had tied her to what was now basically a jogging path.

Worth It

People had always told her she acted like she had a stick up her butt, so one day she went down to the local bondage center and tried it out. And now that she actually had a stick up her butt, she was wondering what the hell people could have meant by that -- she still didn't get it. And why did the staff put weights on her nipples and tie her up like this and giggle and laugh as they did it? It was quite a puzzler. But at least now she could say, "Well I HAVE had a stick up my butt, and I didn't act anything like this!" Definitely worth it.

Early Feminism

"You have a boner!? I'LL give you a boner!"

Guys, as the Christmas holiday shopping season approaches, many women will be under great stress. Be kind and thoughtful to them. It's the safest thing to do. (Then in January, you can turn into a bear with furniture again.) (Image: Victoria Vetri in "When Dinosaurs Ruled The World" (1970).)

The Power of the Wrist-Ankle Tie

Bound as she was, the only thing she could do was put her head between her knees and kiss her ass goodbye. So she did that.

Bondagerotica is updated with a new article in the "Movies and TV shows" section of "What Should A Slavegirl Look Like's" image analysis section, titled "Domination Alley."

This article is not so much how the slavegirl might be dressed, as how she migbht be bound. It extols the virtues of the wrist-ankle tie as a way of letting slavegirls (and damsels in distress as well) do some really sexy writhing. "Domination Alley" is a commercial bondage film and the bondage is totally nude, but with the addition of a thong it's a sure shot for an R rating and even fully clothed, sexy writhing is still sexy writhing. (Just ask fans of Penny from the very old "Sky King" TV series, or fans of Noel Neill from "The Adventures of Superman." And the wrist-ankle tie REALLY promotes sexy writhing.

The Sling Thong

Jeebus.

Bondagerotica is updated with a new article in the "Just A Slavegirl" section of "What Should A Slavegirl Look Like's" image analysis section, titled "The Sling Thong." The picture just about speaks for itself, but of course, I have some further comments to make, such as: "Jeebus, what a body!"

A Fantastic Buy!

"This lovely throne would be an incredible bargain at 270 drachmas, but wait ... we want you to be UNBELIEVABLY happy with this throne. That's why each and with every throne we sell, we will include a slavegirl chained to it! You keep the slavegirl, you keep the chains, at no extra price! (Slavegirl clothing not included.)"

Image from Xena: Warrior Princess (episode: "Death in Chains.")

Kelly: Dildo Warrior

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Kiss the Girls Goodbye Reviewed

"My, that's a lovely head harness gag you're wearing today, Mrs. Cleaver."

Today we update Bondagerotica with a review of Kiss The Girls Goodbye, an indie flick about a nutjob that keeps a woman chained in his basement just because he's that crazy, that is a noble failure. (And not to be confused with "Kiss the Girls" with Morgan Freeman and Ashley Judd, an entirely different film.) It features the biggest honkin' Harmony style gag ever, with the most screen time for a gagged actress in a mainstream film. There are some interesting attempts at character development, hindered by a single awful mistake by the director. A hint: just because a damsel is gagged, that doesn't mean she cannot or should not comment on what's going on around her.

Dance Training

Penelope had no idea that training to become a Radio City Music Hall Rockette was so stringent.

Image from the ZFX Films movie, The Hitcher.

Just A Useless Slave Girl

I've established a new section in my Images Analysis section of "What Should A Slavegirl Look Like?" because I'm still finding slavegirl images I think are neat or keen or have a semi-wity comment for but which don't really expand on the themes of how a slavegirl should act, dress or be displayed. So these images will go under Just A Useless Slavegirl.

Bound and Bejewelled

I have another update to my examination of images of slavegirl hottitude. This one explores the possibilities of the decorated slavegirl, which I have always thought has been sadly overlooked. We look at a very old image in my collection, one of the very few that illustrates the concept with any style. Click here to see the full image. And the full text.

Peppermint Patty and Marcie Grow Up

Marcie:"Are we being lesbians yet, sir?"

Peppermint Pattie:"I'm ... not ... sure. Let's ask Chuck!"

Image courtesy of Bondagerotica sponsor Ultimate Surrender.

Car Keys Lost and Found

"I don't care how far in they went, young lady! You'll get the car keys out right now!" (Image from the adult anime "Darling.")

An Open Letter To Adam Warren

Cover of Empowered Volume 4, the latest offence against Ellie Mae. Click on the pic to find out more about this shameful publication.

Dear World:

For several years now, comic artist Adam Warren has made millions of dollars bagging on my cousin Ellie Mae Powers, and I'd like him to stop. (Her real first name is "Elissa" and her real middle name is "Megan" I know, but everyone calls her "Ellie Mae" after her great aunt on the Clampbett side.)

Ellie Mae is fondly regarded in the family as a sweet girl, a bit touched in the head but basically really nice. Ever since she was a toddler she was jazzed about superheroes, wandering around her folks' house with a towel pinned to her back by a clothespin, declaring that she could fly, had superstrength, etc. Her mother bought her Wonder Woman underoos then had to fight her to get her to take them off so she could wash them.

It was always kinda funny and we always figured she'd grow out of it until she went to college and majored in "Transhuman Studies." You want to talk about your useless college degrees! Everybody thought it was a bad idea to let her major in that -- why couldn't she get a degree in something useful, like business management or medicine? But no, her folks said it was the only thing she was interested in or would study (and she did get on the Dean's List and stay there while she was in college) so Transhuman Studies it was.

We figured her folks were just throwing away money on someone who was going to wind up teaching grade school somewhere, but what the hell, it was her folks' money and her life.

But after she found the supersuit in her senior year in college she went nuts because of course she figured it meant she could BE superhuman. Like being Ellie Mae Powers of the Kentucky Powers clan wasn't good enough for her. Her Great Granny Clampbett would have tanned her hide if she'd found out about it. Granny Clampbett would have been ESPECIALLY mad about the way Ellie Mae looked running around in public in that supersuit -- pretty much stark naked. I'm not sure what denomination Granny Clampbett was, but I AM sure it was one of those fire and brimstone ones where if women are the least bit sexy, they go straight to hell. And Granny Clampbett wouldn't let any kin of hers go to hell even if she had to make their lives hell on earth.

Meanwhile, Adam Warren bags on Empowered relentlessly in his weekly comic strip. Now, granted, Empowered has given him plenty of material to work with, god bless her, due to that damn supersuit's unreliability, but Warren seems to take a certain amount of glee in detailing the insults, humiliations, and dire perils she repeatedly encounters. Also, Warren seems to know more about Ellie Mae's relationship with her boyfriend Lee ... er, Thugboy, we all just call him Lee ... than is meet or proper, and he gleefully details THAT in his strip as well.

Now, I dunno where you're getting your information, Mr. Warren (I'm betting the Caged Demonwolf, he would be in a position to know a lot of this stuff with his starspawn powers, and he seems the type to dish the dirt on anyone if the price is right or even if it isn't) but I don't see what good it is bagging on the girl so much.

Surely you can find another female superhero who gets tied up a lot by bad guys and has plenty of foibles to exploit. Hell, look at Wonder Woman, she spends more time in the coils of her golden lasso than villains do. Plus, she's totally in the closet about her bondage proclivities nowadays, even though she was practically out about it back in the 50s, when it was really dangerous to be out about such things.

Wonder Woman would be right up your alley with her twisted psyche and strange past, and wouldn't be nearly so affected by your comments, as her ego isn't nearly so fragile as Ellie Mae's, what with her having been an actual goddess at one time.

We still have hopes that Ellie Mae can return to a more normal life -- we understand that Ellie Mae has somehow picked up some experience working as a librarian during her stint with the despicable SuperHomies, and that Lee, um, Thugboy, has had experience working as an administrative assistant of sorts. And hell, Ellie Mae has always had a real soft spot for children, she could always work in day care, maybe even transhuman day care -- I understand those kids could be an armful.

In summary, Mr. Warren, please stop bagging on Ellie Mae. She's a sweet kid who deserves better.

Yours,

Pat Powers
aka Ellie Mae's crazy cousin Pat

Tomorrow's Car ... Today

The new Arrestar 5000 sports car was so advanced that its alarm not only sounded a warning when entry was attempted or parts were pried loose, but it also arrested the suspect.

Xena Unfair

Gabrielle:"Oh, come ON guys! You chain Xena up in a full sirik with manacles AND shackles, and you won't bind me at all! No fair! Look, I'll wrap a rope around my neck for you. You can do one of those breast rope things with my arms tied behind my back, I'll hold them real still for you and you can tie them nice and tight!"

Deathstalker Does It Right

"I'll give you a blowjob if you get me out of these chains, big fella."

Today we review Deathstalker which is without a doubt the best B-movie sword and sandal flick of the 80s. It's got plenty of fighting, slavegirl T&A all over the place, and of course bound, naked slavegirls being molested. Clearly, the writer, Howard R. Cohen, had been reading Gor novels and taking notes. A lot of mainstream reviewers diss this movie big time, but that's only because it delivers the slavegirl and bondage cheese big time, and they tend not to like that sort of thing, being a motley collection of SNAGs and gays. The rest of us ... like it a lot.

Inspiration

"Honey, stop making all the gargling noises, it's distracting."

(Imaginary) people are always asking me, "Pat Powers, how do you maintain the creative power to come up with such original, funny, bright content for your blob every single day?" The answer is of course that I scrupulously conduct research for my blob every day, reading widely and also heightly, keeping abreast of the latest developments in pop culture, especially those relating to breasts. Also, (imaginary) people, stop calling my "blog" a "blob." Now you've got me doing it. (Image from the hentai "Darling.")

Secret of Obama's Success

I can't be the only one who looked at the last election and thought that Americans, realizing that Bush had made a real mess of America during his administration, reflexively hired a black guy to clean up after him.

Magic Time

Him: "'They're totally buying the idea that this is a magic act."

Her: "No they're not."

Him: "They're buying it a lot more than they did when the act involved having you naked at this point."

Her: "I'll give you that."

Slaves of Rome

"You have noticed that my throne looks like a hotel lobby chair with a sheet thrown over it and that the chains on the wall are somewhat anachronistic, and for that you must be punished!"

Bondagerotica is updated with another entry in "What Should A Slavegirl Look Like's" image gallery. This one's from a commercial bondage film called "Slaves of Rome." As the caption indicates the budget for this film was quite low. But they got one fundamental very, very right. Can you guess which of these women are slaves and which are free?

Law and Order: Fashion Police

It was the hot pink stockings, she knew it, she knew it ...

Coming to television in January 2009, the newest Law & Order spinoff -- Law & Order: Fashion Police. This hot new show will feature stories ripped from the pages of "Women's Wear Daily" and "Vogue" as the relentless cops on the Park Avenue Fashion Police beat tirelessly track down fashion offenders and put them in cuffs. And shackles. Matching cuffs and shackles, of course. (Oh, come one, we know it's lame, but the only other alternative that hadn't been tried already was Law & Order: Elevator Inspectors and at least with this one we get some skin.)

Sexy Cleopatra Slavegirl Outfits from Xena: Warrior Princess

Hey, how'd this Victoria's Secret model get on an episode of Xena: Warrior Princess?

We update our "What Should A Slavegirl Look Like?" images section with a slavegirl outfit from the "Mark Anthony and Cleopatra" episode of "Xena: Warrior Princess" which illustrates the dangers of allowing your subconscious tastes to affect your choices with regard to slavegirl outfits.

Getting Out and Voting

Well, let's get political.

I went out and voted for Barack Obama today, as well as a slew of Democrats. I don't think Democrats are saints or anything, I just think that overall, fewer of them are scalawags than Republicans are scalawags.

I also think that, on the record, Democrats are much better at handling economic issues than Republicans. And we need people in charge who can handle economic issues, because of the lack of oversight of the financial sector by the Republicans.

That said, I think John McCain is an honorable, reasonable man and if he wins, we're still going to have a distinctive improvement in the quality of our government.

America cannot lose this election. At worst, we will only have a lesser improvement in our government.

I like that.

Later today, something sexy.

Just Making Sure

Bound and gagged, she could only stare helplessly at the bowl of incredibly enticing, forbidden fruit.

The Arena (2001) Reviewed

"Shall we dance?"
We go from the sublime to the ridiculous today. Yesterday Bondagerotica was updated with a review of Fatal Conflict (see post immediately prior to this one) a film that created some of the most powerful slavegirl imagery ever. Today Bondagerotica is updated with a review of the 2001 version of The Arena, which is the sword and sorcery flick that arguably mishandles slavegirl imagery more completely than any other. It's a sexploitation flick about four slavegirls who are forced to fight in the Arena. Two of the slave girls are played by former Playboy Playmates. And it STILL managed to be a complete failure in the hottitude department, and a thoroughly shameful member of the No Bondage Zone. Sure, it's awful, but it sure is an awful lot of fun bagging on something that bad.

Fatal Conflict and Sleeping Dogs Reviewed

Now THIS is slavegirl imagery!!!

The image above is from a mainstream science fiction film. No, really, I'm not kidding. It's not a castoff from some fetish site, it's from "Fatal Conflict," a science fiction film starring Kari Wuhrer and Leo Rossi. At one time, you could rent it in video stores like Blockbuster and watch it on premium non-porn cable channels like HBO and Cinemax. You'll recall from my piece on The Mass Gag Anomaly that it's one of three mainstream films and/or TV shows that have used gag imagery to visually define slavehood. The imagery in Fatal Conflict and Sleeping Dogs is perhaps the most powerful of any of the three.I review Fatal Conflict and Sleeping Dogs (both of which use the same clips) on Bondagerotica, paying special attention to the slavegirl imagery including any wonderfully attractive butt and breasts that might be in them (see above).