Very Important Slave Leia Research at DragonCon 2008

"Greetings from Dragoncon 2008!"

Don't have much witty or fun to say today, because I've been very busy attending Dragoncon 2008 and doing important research for an upcoming article on slavegirls in sword and sandal films for my website, such as taking pics of these two cuties in Slave Leia outfits. Yeah, research, that's what it is ... research.

No Kinkier Love

"Well, first you find a woman you love very, very much and then you tell all your friends and then they give you a toaster and the baby pops out of the toaster."

There is no greater love __ and no kinkier love -- than the love of a bound and gagged lesbian submissive for her also bound lesbian submissive big sister. Also, no geekier love.

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Seriously, the soulful look on the face of the smaller woman as she looks up at the larger woman she's snuggled up against just knocks me out. I don't think it's acting ... typically bondage models aren't really good actresses ... and she'd have to be a really good actress to portray longing so well. The way she's cuddled up between the other model's legs is also quite intimate, and the way the sitting model thrists her breasts out at the woman with her nead resting on her chest is also very suggestive. (Though it's obvious her breasts are outthrust because her arms are bound behind her back.)

The photo's not just raunchy, it's strangely intimate, and also strangely geeky. It has an unnaturally posed feel to it because the models are bound in ways that are unlikely to work out well in terms of giving and receiving sexual satisfaction. At the same time the downcast eyes and turned-aside head of the sitting model and the longing, upcast eyes of the kneeling model create a feeling of emotional intimacy and intensity that is strangely at odds with the fetishistic gear and posing.

"Fascinating," as Mr. Spock would say. I have no idea where this photo comes from, but whoever created it deserves a hearty "Bravo!" as do the models involved.

An Unguarded Moment

"Let's see, is it righty-tighty, lefty-loosie, or righty-nightly, lefty-hefty?"

This is an image of a slavegirl caught au naturel. She clearly did not pose for this photo, someone took the picture when she was having an unguarded moment. She's adjusting her ankle shackle prior to putting it on. All her attention is on her shackle, as she sits with her legs spread wide on the sofa, exposing her naughty bits to all and sundry.

To be honest, I could see myself sitting around naked like that if I was distracted by adjusting some doohickey or other. But I'm a guy. Guys are not trained to be self-conscious about our bodies/appearances all the time, as women are. Before a woman could sit around that unself-consciously in the nude and wearing bondage gear, she would have to have a lot of training/experience to overcome the normal conditioning that women experience.

This is not just a woman, she's a slavegirl. She's accustomed to sitting around naked and in bondage gear among others.

Prison Overcrowding Solved

"Um, I have to go pee." "That's why the floor is grillwork, honey."

The cells at the Arnold Schwarzenegger Prison for Women had been designed to sleep two in very close quarters. Then as overcrowding in women's prisons, including Arnold Schwarzenegger Prison for Women, had continued, they put in bunk beds so the cells could sleep four in great discomfort.

It was when the staff begin duct-taping inmates to the ceiling so the cells could sleep six in incredible discomfort that inmate #5707 had cried, "Oh, why doncha put us in cages the size of our own bodies and be done with it, bitches?"

"Why that's a VERY good idea, 5707," the guard had replied. "I'll pass it on to the warden."

And thus the Individual Total Safety Sleep-Eez Cell was born. It came with a built-in brank so inmates wouldn't make too much noises when confined to their individual cells, possibly disturbing one another's sleep. (Some inmates complained that it was very hard to sleep standing up with a gag locked in your mouth, to which the response was, "What do you think we're running here, a luxury hotel?"

When a civil lawsuit was brought before the Supreme Court alleging that the Individual Total Safety Sleep-Eez Cell constituted cruel and unusual punishment, Judge Antonin Scalia wrote a decision saying, "What the hell, we're all Bush appointees, we're OK with torturing prisoners and, well, everyone for that matter."

And thus the problem of prison overcrowding in America was solved, since you could hang the Individual Total Safety Sleep-Eez Cell from almost anything.

It's Raining Slaves, Hallelujah!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

The Actual Dialogue

Steed: Well here's the problem, Emma. Between the dark strappy leather jumpsuit you're wearing and the leather straps that have been used to bind you, I'm not sure if I'm freeing you or undressing you.

Emma: Oh, Steed, just pick a strap and we'll see what develops.

The Angel Blade Hentai Series

It's hentai time, where the kickass fighting babes get captured and molested a LOT before they finally win the day.

This week I'm taking a break from Women in Prison films and reviewing the hentai Angel Blade. I've picked Angel Blade because it is the perfect thing to watch in the background on television while doing other things. This is not an insult -- it's very hard to find programming that works as such. It has to have enough good stuff that you've got an excellent chance of being rewarding when you pause to check it out, it has to be pointless enough that you don't have to know the plot to enjoy what you're seeing, and it has to avoid distracting you from whatever you are doing like, say, hardcore porn would. That's the train of thought that led me to write my essay on Why Isn't There A Naked Woman Dancing Channel?

In the Angel Blade hentai series, I've found something that fills that bill. I figure that it will increase productivity for people who work at home by a good 5 percent. I await the thanks of a grateful nation.

Bad Girls' Bit Gag Scene -- Opportunities Lost

Hmmm, tastes like chicken. Well, rubber chicken.

This Thursday (August 21, 2008) episode 5.1 of Bad Girls aired for the first time in the US on the Logo Channel (i.e., the gay channel, no I'm not kidding) and of course I had to record it and watch it. And even though my DVD somehow screwed up, I did managed to catch tle last 20 minutes of the ep.

As you can see, they did a great job of presenting the bit gag visually, but it left much to be desired in other respects, so much so that I was reduced to using colorful metaphors to express my disappointment. I could have written my response as a post for this blog, but chose instead to write it as an article on my website since I wanted to reference it from my article on Bad Girls."

You can read my outraged screed abuot the bit gag scene here.

Anything ...

"Funny, this ALWAYS worked in Finding Boys: The Betty Page Way."

"I'll do ANYTHING to get in I Felta Thi," she said.

"ANYTHING?" replied the sorority selection committee chairperson with notes of both skepticism and interest.

"ANYTHING!" she replied.

"Weeeeell," said the chairperson, "We've had to tone down the hazings since we went beyond our quota of hazing deaths last year. So no more physically hazardous stuff, just extreme humiliation. You're quite lucky. All we want pledges to do this year is wwalk three laps around the quad dressed in an outfit we'll provide."

"It sounds almost too easy," she said.

"Don't worry, said the chairperson. "We will do our best to make it a memorable experience for you."


(In all honesty, I have no idea what the provenance of this photo is, but I'd love to find out. There are way too many people in the background for this to be a bondage shoot, I don't think it's a mainstream movie scene, and although the background looks like the 60s the head harness ballgag screams "Modern!" It could be performance art, it could be a hazing. I'd love to know, so if you know, please post to this page.

Wraparound

A scene from the movie "Indecent Behavior 2.

This is one of those pictures that looks prosaic until you know something that's not immediately apparent. In this case, it's that the woman's wrists are lashed to the headboard behind her with a leather strap.

Before, the picture just conveyed passion, as the woman's legs wrap around the man's. Now it conveys helplessness and passion. The woman might instinctively want to embrace the man with her arms as well, but she can't, because they're tied back.

In fact, the woman's legs are almost all you can see of her, except for half her face projecting above the man's shoulder. The rest is all writhing pink stuff beneath the man. The rest of her body either bound or trapped beneath the guy, she does her slavegirl best to express her passion and affection by wrapping her legs around his.

As a result, there's something both touching and raunchy about this image, and the two emotions amplify one another. If the image weren't so touching, it wouldn 't be quite so raunchy. And if it weren't so raunchy, it wouldn't be nearly as touching.

The Hosteler-Bondager Convergence

"So, um, is having a thin rag tied in your mouth considered "breakfast" in this part of Europe? Because this is so not what I have in mind when I think "bed and breakfast."

The image above is from the mainstream horror film Hostel 2.

Some have attepted to redefine Hostel 2 as "torture porn" but I'm not buying it because horror movies have always been full of grisly images of human being experiencing prolonged, agonizing torment, often followed by death. It doesn't seem to me that in the case of movies like Hostel 2 the fact that it's a human being rather than a supernatural being or event that is the cause of all the misery isn't an important distinction to make. They all suck equally in that regard.

(Full disclosure: I haven't seen Nightmare on Elm Street or any of its sequels, I haven't seen any Texas Chainsaw Massacre film, I HAVE seen Halloween but not any of its sequels. I haven't seen any of the Hellraiser films though I have seen a couple of nice-sized chunks of Hellraiser III (the one with Terry Farrell in the head harness) ... oh, the list of horror movie's I've not seen is long. I'm just not into SM, apparently unlike most horror movie fans.)

ANYWAY, so Hostel 2 is a mainstream horror film by any reasonable definition of the term. And the thing is, this vidcap from Hostel 2 could have easily come from many commercial bondage sites, especially those that feature lots of clothed bondage.

Really, look at the two hotties from Hostel 2. Imagine if you saw them tied up on a sofa or a bed in a motel room, exactly as they are tied now. You'd be thinking David Knight. You'd be thinking FM Concepts. Really, look at them, hands tied behind, sporting thin cleave gags, both bound hands behind, and both bound at the waist and feet.

The difference between the bondage imagery found in mainstream films, especially horror films, and the bondage imagery found on commercial bondage site, continues to dwindle.

Gone Too Far

Sylvie could not help but think, “Even in this modern day and age, perhaps I have gone a bit too far on the first date.”

(Image from Joey Silvera‘s Please #12, a mostly mainstream vanilla porn DVD/video.)

Playa Bound

Sand gets in everything!

Remember when I said I'd show you an image very much like the one in Plazabound only from a modern day event? Well, here it is -- an image of a stark naked woman staked out on the desert floor while other people blithely bicycle past her. It is NOT a scene from a movie or a bit of performance art.

It's Dee Luvbight of LuvBight.com having a great time at the annual Burning Man festival. Burning Man is an annual festival held during the week prior to Labor Day in the Black Rock Desert about a hundred miles outside Reno, Nevada ("right next door" by Far West standards). And the rules really are different at Burning Man, as you can see, not "different" in that fakey, kitschy wan Florida advertises its differences.

We're not sure what the cyclists think of the naked woman with the rings in her pubes lying staked out on the salt flats with her legs spread wide, gagged and blindfolded. But we ARE sure that hubbie Mick Luvbight took the pictures and stood by ready to pull up stakes, so to speak, if Dee had gone all safeword-y on him.


Of course the cyclists could be a bit blase because they've seen such things before at Burning Man ...

Bikini Chain Gang Reviewed

The bikini chain gang hard at work. No actual rocks were harmed in the production of this movie!

I've written a review of Bikini Chain Gang for my website. This genial spoof of women in prison films gives up the bondage better than most actuial women in prison films, which is unusual for a Skinamax film. And of course it's all over the sex and nudity.

What's more, it's pleasantly amusing. Has actual funny lines. For example, there's a scene where a convicted cutie's boyfriend promises to do everything he can do get her a new trial, "this time with lawyers and witnesses and everthing!" Oh, there's plenty of stupidity that's ripe for the skewing in the women in prison genre, and Bikini Chain Gang gets off a few pretty good shots along with all the sex, bondage and nudity.

Caption-O-Rama

"This sheet is nice, but do you have something in a medium red? It would contrast so nicely with this altar I'm about to be sacrificed on."

Didn't like that caption for this vidcap from the horror film "Waxwork II: Lost in Time" as damsel Shanna Teare is chained to an altar, ready to get a little pussy? Try one of these:

"Hey, if it weren't for this sheet, I'd be doing porn! Cool!"

"Now I will place a full set of dinner dishes laden with food atop this damsel, and then remove the sheet without disturbing any of the dishes enough to make them spill their food. But the damsel likely WILL be disturbed, as she is naked under that sheet."

"In our continuing Olympics cverage, NBC brings you our latest innovation -- the Crotch Cam! We got the idea from the Internets!"

"I'm going to my DiD Local to lodge a complaint against these villains. I believe DiDs are entitled to be sacrificed naked!"

Plazabound

It was a town so dull that even the slave girls were bored by their punishments.

The thing that‘s really nice about "Plazabound" the artwork above, is its smooth combination of strong sexual bondage imagery with the mundane.

Of course, the first thing that catches your eye in the artwork is the hot (in every sense of the word) naked woman standing chained to a post and gagged.

A great image, but not an exceptional one in and of itself. What makes this image exceptional is the background. The woman in the image is bound in a sun-drenched public plaza, so you know she’s hot and thirsty -- but the other people in the image are either ignoring her or (most likely) mocking her.

A damsel in distress she might be, but you also suspect she might be a slave girl or a criminal (perhaps a whore receiving a deeply ironic punishment for public indecency). Whatever she is, she is she’s part of the normal institutions of this society. The nuns and the priest ignore her. The two clothed young women look on, one with her hands on her hips, her mouth open … you can almost hear the searing mockery she directs at the slave girl/criminal/whatever.

Now, that’s telling a story with an image. Would that filmmakers understood the power of such imagery to add rich layers of depth to any scene. For example, both of the Gor movies would have seemed a LOT more Gorean with just the addition of a few gagged, naked slave girls chained to posts around town. In fact, just about every sword and sandal or sword and sorcery movie made since the 1980s could use some images like this.

In the near future, a post about a real-life image very much like this one from a modern day non-bondage event held in the US every year.

The Expression Of A Wish I Never Knew I Made

Now this is walkin’ it doggie style! Image from Maison Plasir, a hentai.

I find hentai to be vaguely miraculous. It‘s as if they were the expression of a wish I never knew I had made. Hentai take my favorite form of sexuality -- sexual bondage -- and creates imagery of it, not just adequately, but really, really well -- and with gusto!

Considering the timid, sloppily done, unimaginative, just plain crappy stuff that constitutes US toons, hentai are kinda miraculous. For example, the image above, a scene from .Maison Plasir,shows a couple who are into sexual bondage having some fun. He’s got her wrists tied to her ankles, and her ankles tied to a broom used as a spreader bar. The scene starts in the bedroom, with him tying her up as shown and taking her doggie style, then it proceeds through the house as he “walks” her doggie style, with Tab A inserted in Slot B the whole time, until they reach the back porch.

There she sort of collapses onto the porch while he hangs onto the doorway and fucks her brains out as they both enjoy the beautiful afternoon.

In tone, it’s very like the happy ending scene in Secretary where James Spader fucks new wife Maggie Gyllenhaal as she‘s tied to a tree in THEIR back yard.


The happy newlyweds frolic in their back yard in “Secretary” also enjoying a beautiful afternoon.

Many hentai are just brain-dead porn like their US vanilla porn counterparts (sadly, like Part 2 of Maison Plaisir), but sometimes, hentai can be interesting, fun and sexy all at the same time … which is vaguely miraculous.


The happy couple enjoy a beautiful afternoon on the back porch, bondage style. Image from Maison Plasir, a hentai.

Best Use of "Mmph!" In A XXX Film, EVAH!

One of the most humiliating bondage positions ever. Talk about "Assume the position!"

Way back in 1983, when feminists were getting their back hair up about maledom/femsub bondage imagery, there were some XXX films that pushed the envelope in that regard, and Smoker is definitely one of them.

It was also quite funny at times.

Smoker was a XXX spy spoof about a McGuffinesque series of bomb parts disguised as vibrators that would be used in a bomb designed to blow up the world.

A box of these devices accidentally gets sent to a sex shop and sold to various hotties, as often occurs in XXX land. One of the hotties is Angie (played by Troye Lane, apparently her only movie role ever according to IMDB. I personally don't buy it ... this face looks familiar. (See below.)


"Have you seen me? Really, if anyone recognizes this actress, please post a response.

Angie's innocent purchase leads her to a whirlwind of spy intrigue when spies get the idea that she has accidentally purchased one of the bomb parts. They kidnap her, tie her up and attempt to get her to divulge the vibrator's location by having sex with her while she's tied up, as any group of villainous spies would.

Unfortunately, Angie's vibrator has been stolen by a voyeur and she doesn't know where it is. Of course, the spies just think Angie's protestations of innocence mean she's a really tough nut to crack, so it's lots more bondage and sex for her.

This sets up our great use of "Mmph!" The head of the spy ring is Lady Suque, ably played by Sharon Mitchell. She's assisted by two goons, Freddy played by Ron Jeremy, and "Henchman" played by Eric Edwards.

At one point, Freddy and Henchman have Angie tied up as seen above. Freddy is getting head from Angie and Henchman is taking Angie doggy style, both at the same time. Angie's just taking it, about all she can do, bound as she is, while Lady Suque ... soliloquizes. Angie's predicament is much more clearly illustrate here. Note the way Lady Suque joins in dominating Angie by controlling the ropes around her chest.

Lady Suque's speech is your classic villainous self-justification bullshit soliloquizing:

Lady Suque: In the end it is good not to care at all. But I can't help it, I get caught up in caring.

Henchman: What do you care about, boss?

Lady Suque: I care about power. I want my power to run though myself alone. I can't wield my power effectively through others. It's limited to me, my own control over my own actions. I find myself powerless. I can hate as much as I want, or want something as much as I like, but all this humanity gets in the way. You know, I actually feel completely and effectively trapped.

Angie: Mmmph!

Lady Suque: Poor dear. You feel the same way, too, don't you??

It's hard to believe that porn films used to have writing like this. This is one genre that has not improved over time. US porn went on a reckless race to the bottom and stayed there. What a shame.

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A word of caution. According to IMDB trivia, the most current version of this film has all the sexual bondage imagery excised. That means the particular scene I've cited and a subsequent one of Lady Suque in four point suspension, ballgagged and molested with a bomb part/vibrator, are both gone. The censors may have left in the scene of Angie lying naked on a cot, one foot cuffed to the wall, and one of the Sloan twins tied arms over head with her entire head wrapped in a bandage. This version has a 66-minute run time, I would advise against buying it.

In the interests of full disclosure, the version I have of "Smoker" is censored, too.
It has had all the explicit hardcore imagery removed -- there are no genitals "in action" to be seen in the version I watched. I am sure there must have been an uncensored version released on VHS at one point, but try finding it nowadays. This is a film that the censors just can't keep their grubby little paws off of. In short, a good film.

Lonely Girl

A highly recommended way to scare off life insurance salesmen.

The bondagette lies on the floor, naked, self-bound and sucking on a dildo. Is there no man around to provide her with the Real Thing™ to suck on?

Such a picture fills me with a strange mixture of lust, empathy and sadness. I'm not sure that's what the photographer was aiming for, but still ... it's kinda nice.

Image courtesy of Slave Sluts dot com.

USA Network's "In Plain Sight" Provides Mary McCormack Doing Some Chained, Sweaty Writhing

"Anybody have some deoderant?"

If you like your damsels hot, sweaty, chained and writhing, then you owe it to yourself to catch this week's episode ("Stan by Me") of the USA Network TV series, In Plain Sight.

In it, US Marshall Mary Shannon (played by Mary McCormack) is caught by the bad guys early on in the episode (chloroform scene) and chained up in their basement for most of the rest of the show. She's chained arms overhead, but sitting in a chair instead of standing. Being a modern damsel she doesn't just sit and wait for rescue: whenever the villains leave her alone in the basement, which is a lot, she's struggling to escape her chains, which involves a lot of writhing and makes her very sweaty.

The scenes are well lit, there are a lot of them, and there's also some dominance/submission elements as the bad guys come in to terrify and interrogate her.

The villains made two mistakes: they did not remove her clothing and they did not gag her. But by the standards of most network TV scenes, this is excellent. I haven't seen this much bound writhing on a mainstream TV show in a long time. We're talking "Perils of Nyoka" here!

I have to believe that this is part of a general trend by cable netowrks to use their relaxed censorship standards to outdo the broadcast networks.

You CAN catch this show on TV this week. It re-airs on the USA Network On August 13 at 1 a.m. and on August 16 at 6 p.m.

Bad Girls Review - Some Say "No Soap" I Say "Soap"

A well-lit tape gag scene from "Bad Girls" -- of the ugliest gaurd in the place. Symptomatic, I'm afraid.

I started the "Women in Prison" section on my Bondagerotica.com site because of the startup of the US women in prison series Bad Girls so I thought I should review the British women in prison series Bad Girlsthat it's based on. And add some thoughts on how the US version can avoid fucking up like the Brits did. Because they did. I really do think the Americans will do better than the Brits did, if only because the US Bad Girls will be shown on a premium channel and hence nudity will be almost a requirement. Probably R-rated sex, too, because the HBO series is under a lot of pressue to push the envelope. Of course, I have some suggestions for exactly how they could do so. I'm doing a public service, really.

Red Sonja Goes To Hentai Land

Looks like somebody's about to get the whole tentacle experience ...

Issue number 39 of Red Sonja comics features three alternate covers. One of them looks like the image above. That's the one you'll want. Apparently, Red Sonja is about to go to hentai-land. There was a big fuss a few months go out in the blogosphere about a cover for Heroes for Hire that featured three shapely heroines chained to a post while tentacles arose among them.

I'm thinking the guy who did this cover realized how much free publicity Heroes for Hire got out of the controversy and aimed to do the same for Red Sonja. Good thinking, I say.

Remember to ask for the right cover. The other two covers are relatively uninteresting.

Dentistry of the Ancients

"Now, tell me where it feels very, very good."

Early dentistry as practiced in the middle East as shown in the historical XXX film Scheherezade was a far cry from what we know now as dentistry.

As is evident from the vidcap above, the patient was tied naked to the chair. Then the dentist, who was also naked, felt around the patient's mouth with his fingers until he found the sore tooth, generally by being bitten when he touched it.

Once the offending tooth had been located in this manner, the tool known as "Allah's Most Beneficent Tooth Snuffer Outer" was inserted in the victi... er, patient's mouth, and after half an hour or more of sweaty grappling and much screaming in agony and writhing against the ropes, the tooth and often much of the gum and a few non-sore teeth were removed.

This was, believe it or not, a huge advance over other forms of dentistry of the time, which tended to involve rocks and broken jaws.

It is not known why the dentists worked in the nude. Some historians have suggested that it is because it was fun.

HBO Latino to Start Women's Prison Drama Sept 10

HBO Latino is apparently airing a wip series called Capodocia as well as the Alan Ball "Bad Girls" project on HBO. Here's the link. If Mexican soap operas are any indication, this could well be a major bondagefest. Set your DVD recorders to "stun."

Bondage in the News

A woman seeking to have her pit bull cloned turns out to have had a bondage-y past, having cuffed a Mormon missionary to her bed and ...

well, you'll just youll just have to visit this link to find out the rest.

It'll be worth the visit. Includes naked pic of woman. Pretty darned bizarre, just the way I like my news.

Rachel Ray Ball Gagged For Hubbie?

Translation from gag talk: "Does this please you, master?"

Rachel Ray divorced her husband not too long ago. It was all over the celebrity-oriented media (aka: "all media"). Personal differences were cited.

But on the Intarwebs, the ruors were flying, and the rumors were that the sorce of the Rays' differences was that hubby was into bondage!!! The rumors apparently had some currency, as Mr. Ray apparently liked to practice bondage with prostitutes, and, well, beans were spilled. I mean, The New York Observer mentioned it in an out-of-date article.

Now, Rachel Ray by all reports is a nice, obliging person and by all accounts she was deeply in love with her husband. He apparently just had to have that bondage action. And you have figure that Rachel made a serious effort to please hubby before she decided bondage was not for her.

So the image above ... the dream of so many who have heard her voice ... is well within the realm of possibility. It's speculation, but hardly uninformed speculation.

Extreme Bondage on the Lifetime Channel: "Against Their Wills"

This prison inmate is so horny that she's actually grinning in triumph as she grabs a little middle-aged spread butt booty! Man, that's desperate.

You know how I keep talking about Lifetime Channel women in prison movies in my reviews of sexploitation women in prison movies? Well, I went ahead and reviewed one. And it has a couple of really strict bondage scenes. I mean, strict as in can't move anything but your head. How about a straightjacket hogtie? How about a psycho-sheet strapdown? Puts anything in the sexploitation films I've reviewed to date to shame.

And the bondage is actually relevant to the plot -- it helps establish the helplessness and vulnerability of the inmates in the prison, and given that the movie is about prison rape, the bondage makes the point very powerfully.

There's also some analysis of how the superior characterization of Lifetime Channel movies makes the dominance and submission elements of the story more powerful.

You can check out the review by clicking here.

Jennifer Connelly Gives Me Hope

There's a greasy double dildo between these two butts, and the butt on the left belongs to Jennifer Connelly.

This is why I'm hopeful about some of the more extreme bondage techniques showing up in mainstream films being worn/practiced by A-list actresses someday: because Jennifer Connelly won an Oscar after appearing in a nude double dildo sex scene in the movie Requiem for a Dream. The scene is heavily edited so that major use of the pause button is required to get a clean shot of the action seen above, but there's also a shot of the dildo being inserted (seen from profile so you never see any naughty bits, but there's definitely an image of an oily double dildo between their two butts.

(The insertion scene could have involved a body double, since it was a closeup and you could only see her ass, so I didn't include it. But I like to believe Connelly does her own stuntwork.)

Connelly also did full frontal nudity in Requiem for a Dream though, sadly, it turns out she doesn't shave her pubic hair, which I find hard to believe for someone as unfrickingbelievably hot as her. (Maybe she wears a merkin.)

I totally believe that if it were artistically sound, Connelly would appear in a movie wearing a dental gag and armbinders with her feet in a spreader bar doing two guys at once. She is not fricking afraid to push the envelope sexually, like wimpy-ass "won't do nudity" Jessica Alba.

Fortunately there are other actual hottie actresses to back Connelly up, such as Maggie "I'll totally play a submissive and wear a yoke and a pony girl saddle" Gyllenhaal and Connie "Sure I'll wear a gimp suit and collar and get chained to a spring mattress" Nielson.

The future's so bright I gotta wear shades.

Not Every Picture Tells A Story ...

...but this one does!

I've never been much of a fan of the usual form of fakes on the Web, i.e., the ones where they just graft a celebrity's head on the body of a pornstar doing what she does so well, or a bondage model for that matter. I think the pornstar or bondage model deserve to have their face remain on their body: they worked hard to make themselves beautiful, they had the nerve to pose nude or to pose while having sex or in nude bondage. They should get the credit for it, not some actress who pulls the sheet up over her breasts whenever she's naked in bed with her lover in a movie.

But this is not really a fake, it's a genuine artwork. The artist "SFB" (if that is in fact his or her real name) has combined disparate elements to create an image that is not TOO far from reality, but is tantalizingly close. A naked young woman is suspended arms over head in the sands of an arena, or in modern parlance, a stadium. Behind her a burly man in camos wields a large whip. Behind him a crowd of average-looking people is seated on bleachers, watching the woman get whipped just as they might watch a football game or a tractor pull.

The image is reminisent of some Asian corporal punishment that has occurred in the past -- public caning or whipping. But the audience here is clearly American, and the preponderance of cowboy hats indicates they're probably western Americans.

And total nakedness isn't part of any official corporal punishment that I know of.

Maybe it's an entertainment, like you'd have at a BDSM meet. A very BIG BDSM meet. The grin on the whippee's face supports that theory.

Then again, maybe she's a very naughty Paris Hilton type who went way far over the line and she's laughing at the silliness of someone trying to punish HER ... until that first stroke of the whip hits home.

Because the image doesn't fit readily into any preconceived scenario, it's rich fodder for the imagination. That means it's the very best kind of artwork. Some might quibble over the fact that the images used to create this artwork are copyrighted by others. I would say the artist has created something sufficiently new and interesting that he should own it. Go after the celebrity head fakers, sure. They really aren't doing anything new or worthwhile. But stuff like this ... it's the best kind of art.

The Strange Story of Board Girls

Now, that's what I call a wedgie!

It happens all the time: women come into emergency rooms with 2x8 inch boards wedged so tightly into their butts that it requires medical interveintion to get them out.

The women are often reluctant to have the boards removed. The constant feel of the board between their legs rubbing against their naughty bits drives them wild with lust and eventually leads to a state of perpetual horniness that is so intense that it is almost a match for the ordinary male sex drive.

These "board girls" become so enamored of their boards that they refuse to let go of them under any circumstances, causing great difficulties in elevators, airplanes and bathroom stalls.

Often, extensive psychological counselling is required before they can be persuaded to give up their beloved boards.

OK, now for the truth, which is interesting enough anyway. The image above is from a bondage video that I rented about a decade ago. I think it may have been a Bruce Seven video, but I'm not sure.


One of the more complex methods of rubbing one out.

It portrays a fairly standard bondage scenario -- a naked (well, in this case, thong-clad) woman is chained hand and foot in a standing spreadeagle with a large (often 2x8") board hanging vertically between her legs, suspended on chains. Typically there is a niche cut in the board, lined with fabric. The board is hoisted on chains until it rubs right up against the woman's naughty bits.

The point of this elaborate rig is that the board has a lot of inertia. Any movement by the woman's torso results in movement by the board, causing it to rub up against her naughty bits. This often resutls in more movement, causing more rubbing, causing more movement causing more rubbing, etc., etc. until orgasm occurs.

The particular genius of this video is that the videographer, instead of shooting the majority of the scene from the usual, prosaic side view, set up the camera to the rear of the model and below her, as if he were trying to get an upskirt shot. Instead he got an upboard shot, and because models butt cheeks completely hide the niche in the board, it looks like she's got a board wedged deep in her butt.

The other thing that really makes the scene work is that the model really sells it, working the board with her butt like she was a Vietnamese hooker trying to get a rolled-up, rubber-banded twenty dollar bill off a GI's dick with her pussy. She makes little moans and grunts and it's hard to say if it's distress or pleasure, but given the way her butt clenches and release the board, you have to figure it's pleasure.

I have completely forgotten the name of the video, because I didn't copy the rest of it, which was utterly forgettable. But that one scene ... whoa! Board Girl will always be famous as far as I'm concerned.